Another Night Out

I can't believe its only til I week til we
leave. My cousin Bogick came back to the
Philippines after living the US for 15 years. We had
dinner with him at Indulgence ( Where else?)
My evening schedule has slowly started to
get crazy. Here are the photos of our night out:



Mai and Muppy!




Beehong



BOGICK


GROUP SHOT A ( Mai-Mai took the Shot)




GROUP SHOT B ( Yours truly took the Shot)

A Parents Prayer

Dear Lord,

In those times when I feel
overwhelmed and weary, I ask that
you would grant me enabling grace to
believe that you will do what you have
promised. Help me to trust you even
when I am not feeling like it. Help me to
know your word is true even when I may
not see it in my circumstances. You are my
strength when I am weak.
You are my guiding light when I am lost.
I pray that you would encourage me today
and help me to see the wonderful things
you have already done for me. Forgive
me for not recognizing when your hand
has been at work in my life. Help me to come to a
deeper understanding and a stronger resolution
that you are always true to your word!

In Jesus’ Name,

Amen

Found It

My IPOD has been missing for weeks.
Initially I thought I must have misplaced it
somewhere but the more that I tried to find
it the more that I couldn't find it. So instead
of stressing myself about it I just prayed about
it. I prayed that it would be returned to me
If it wasn't I prayed that the one who found
it would enjoy the music that was in it. Then
last night I was looking through my stuff
I found it ! I found it!

One thing I could say over and over and over
again thank you so much Lord! Praise God!

Busy Long Weekend

I've been extremely busy as in super mega
ever last weekend.. Here's a rundown of what I did


FRIDAY



Met up with my friends Mish and Ellen.
We had dinner and we were talking and
laughing out loud.

SATURDAY

It's scrapbook day.. I met up with some of
my friends for a day of scrapbook and fun.





DINNER AT ATE NANE'S
After the scrapbook day I still had time to rush
and go to Ate Nane's birthday party.



SUNDAY

We went to Pepper's 1st Birthday Party
Here's a photo of my Little Prince



SUNDAY DINNER
Had dinner with Liz and Marisa at Shangri-La Hotel




MONDAY

Joshwa and I had lunch with his
Ninang O, Tito Tim and Mamita.
I took this photo while waiting for our ride
to the restaurant.

Asar

Wala lang naiinis lang ako kasi apparently
nakita pala ako ng tito ko pumasok sa Starbucks.
Sinabihan ba naman nya Mama ko kaya Mama
ko ayun kay aga-aga mega sermon ba naman
sa akin kesyo sayang lang ang pera tigilan na daw
pag punta ko sa Starbucks.I mean pati ba naman yun
kailangan pa sabihin. Starbucks lang naman yun..

Im ranting again kay aga-aga. What a day!
I'm leaving in 2 weeks Im probably gonna miss
those sermon's from my mom. Ask me again in
6 months if I'm gonna miss it probably but
then maybe not.

At isa pa itong MIL ko hayyyy dont get me started
nag text may pinapagawa wrong timing kasi busy
ako. Aba maya maya nag text ba naman sa akin
kung tapos na daw ba pinapagawa sa akin.
Breathe in Breathe out

Still No Luggage

I still have no luggage. Unlike Joshwa who has been living out
of the suitcase for the past 3 weeks.I still haven't bought a
decent luggage for myself.Im not really looking
for something expensive. I just want something that is
functional.With the kind of budget that I have I really
do hope I find what I'm looking for.

The Blessing

Last night we had a blessing for the restaurant.
It was great because friends and family
were there. Here are some of the photos of that blessed
event.

THE FOOD



FRIENDS

THE CREW

The Wedding

I went to a wedding last Saturday.
with my cousin Lali and My Best Buddy
Marisa.




We had fun but then I saw this and we had a
good laugh about it



And I was like what was that.. She forgot to remove
the tag from her dress.. I know i'm mean but
it was so funny...

Andie

I miss her so much.. She's always in my thoughts
and in my heart no matter what anyone says
she'll always be my daughter

There is not a time when I couldn't think of her
without feeling the pain and the longing. She may
not be here but her mark stayed with me within
my soul, within my heart. Perhaps I lost her
because another person deserves the love that
she could give and the light that she will shine
will have a marvelous effect on others.

To my dearest Andie, I consider myself lucky
because I've known you and you once called me
MOMMY.

3 Weeks to Go

I only have 3 weeks to go and i'm not packed or anything.
Basta lang all I know is a few days before that I'll be going
crazy as to what to bring, what to leave behind and how
to pack so that what I do need to bring I can fit into
one suitcase.

A few days before I leave which is August 27 will be the
Licensure Exam for Teachers (LET) Truth to be told
I am nervous about that exam. I attended the review
but I did the review a bit early. I should have done
the review in June so that It will still be fresh by
the time August rolled in. But now i had to be an
eager beaver and did the review during the summer.
What I'm really nervous about is not doing good on the
exam. I can handle other parts but the Math part
is another thing.

It really didn't help me that during my review
the reviewers were trying to scare us into
thinking that the LET is tough and it's really
going to be hard to pass this exam.

Im not sure if you guys know that I was
assesed to have Dyscalculia according to the dictionary
Impairment of the ability to solve mathematical
problems, usually resulting from brain dysfunction.
During the review I found out there's alot of math.
Patay!!! As in I felt the beads of sweat coming down
my forehead.

Another concern is the expectation that
comes with taking the test. I remember one of my tita's
jokingly tell me uyy pag di ka pa pumasa nyan dami daming
teachers na bobo pumapasa dyan sa exam dyan mas
lalo na dapat ikaw kasi you went to a good school.
I smiled at her I didn't know if I should be happy and take
that as a compliment or be insulted.

I guess I should just do my best and hope for
the best.

23 Days To Go: Philbert

If there's really one person who really knows me the
most that's my husband. Im filled with eager
anticipation because I'll be seeing him again soon.

As long as I know that he is with me I won't feel
lost and everything will be just fine.

24 Days To Go: Joshwa

Kung may isang tao sa mundong ito na sasabihing
ko mahal na mahalko na as in unconditional si Joshwa
talaga ito. As in nung nalaman kong buntis ako sa
kanya talagang ang saya saya ko. Kaya ganun na lang
ang panlulumo ko nung nalaman kong may
special need sya.

Pero sige kinaya ko.Kasi kailangan nya ako.
Nung una inaamin ko parang naging detached
ako kayJoshwa at sa lahat ng pangyayari sa
buhayko kasi yun lang ang paraan ko na para
makayanan ko lahat.

Napapansin ko talaga nitong nakaraang araw
nagiging mahigpit ako pagdating sa pag disiplina
kay Joshwa. Ayoko talaga na naiinis ako sa kanya.
Na sinasabi ko lagi Joshwa NO!Joshwa STOP THAT!
pero iniisip ko na lang na I can't be his friend.

I have to be his mom.Kamakailan lang na pag usapan
sa isang egroup na sinalihan ko kung ano ba talagang
mga takot ko para kay Joshwa.

Isa sa mga malaking kinakakatakutan ko pag namatay
ako nang maaga baka hindi pa handa si Philbert
na alagaan si Joshwa.

Di ko alam kung kakaiba lang ako o
weird talaga pero naisip sana ma outlive
ko si Joshwa. Ibig ko sabihin matanda na
sya at matanda na rin ako sabihin
na nating pumanaw sya ng mga 60 so mga
85 na ako nun.

Gusto ko lang mailagay ko sya sa ayos hanggang
sa huli. Naalala ko sinabi ko dati kay Philbert
pag namatay ako ayoko sya mag asawa kasi
baka makakukuha sya ng salbahe tapos
sasaktan si Joshwa. Sabi ko sa kanya hihilahin
ko paa nyo pag ginawa nya yun sa anak ko.

Nagbilin din ako sa mama ko na wag nya
pabayaan si Joshwa pag may nangyari sa akin.
I know morbid sa it may seem death is inevitable.
The only thing that we have to do is to prepare
for it. Pag alam ko nang okay na si Joshwa
without me then I know that I can go anytime.

26 & 25 Days To Go: MALLING

Here are some photos of the weekend that
was Aug 5.. Taken at Mall of Asia








These photos below were taken at Glorietta

27 Days to Go.. My Mom the Restauranteur

My mom opened her new venture last Monday
I know I don't say this out loud
I'm proud of her and this new
venture she's embarking on. The first
time I saw her in action I was so proud
of her its as if she was meant to do this.

The food is also great. Im not just saying this
because she owns the place. The food is really,
really good.

I don't know if you're ever reading my blog
Ma.. Just the same let me say this Im proud
of you and Keep up the Good Work.

28 Days To Go.. Closure

According to Wikipedia.org In psychology, closure
may refer to the state of experiencing an emotional
conclusion to a difficult life event, such as the
breakdown of a close interpersonal relationship
or the death of loved one. People may behave
in a certain way or perform certain rituals to
help "bring closure" following such events.
In many other cases, "closure" may only come about
through the passage of time
(as in "time heals all wounds").

So thats what I've been doing this past
couple of days talking to old friends
forgiving them if needed but I do in such
a way that I don't have to actually say
I forgive you. For me just the fact that
I can talk to them and forget what happened
in the past was enough.

Unfortunately, much as i want to ask for
forgiveness from those that I have hurt
in the past I can't anymore. I already did
ask from at least 10 of them and they scoffed
at me and threw it right back at me called me
ugly names behind my back. I can't do that
anymore,I can't go through that again.
So call it being a coward,I call it self preservation.

29 Days To Go: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEEHONG

I always remember her as the kid who came to
live with us and I treated her as to how I would treat
my sisters.And believe it or not I do feel like she
is my sister. Protective at times and most of the
time her partner in crime. We went through a lot
of mischiefs together. I dare not elaborate on this blog
coz it will be incriminating.

I always look forward to spending time with her.
We are like two peas in a pod. We derive a lot
of pleasure from the simple things in life: shopping,
eating, talking and laughing about things. Though I know
a lot of people don’t get her but I do.

I may be older than her but she always had a way of
putting things into perspective for me.
If there was something really disturbing me,
I would call her talk to her about it and
she would blunt her opinions and it
would make a lot of sense.


People talk about these values that a decent person
should have but she embraces them. She could easily
could disarm any tenuous situation and have people
laughing with her many one-liners. She always tries
to be calm but of course her temperament gets in
the way but I still believe that she is a person who
has honor, loyalty and integrity.

To my dear cousin Beehong.. Happy Birthday..
Thank you for being in my life. I would always treasure
you and hope that you have a great year ahead of you.

30 Days to Go

The person who will replace me as far as
work is concerned came today. She's okay
I've met her before. She might be the person
that my parents have been looking for
softspoken and yet good with filling something
that i'm not good at.

I'm going to have one last scrap session with
my friends. I'm going to miss the scrapbook
girls. But i'm looking forward to seeing my
husband. I haven't seen him in 20 months so
I know that when I do see him again
fireworks are bound to happen. (whatever it
is that y'all are thinking yup thats it).

Imagine this:

Scenario 1

Me: Joshwa its time for your medicine
(AKA Benadryl)
Joshwa: Mom!!!! Ahhhhh!!! Noo!!
(after 10 minutes he is knocked out cold)
Let the games begin!!

Scenario 2

Me: Who wants $100
whoever raises their hand will say why what's
the catch. Babysit Joshwa.. and i know no one
will take me up on that. So Im thinking the
scenario 1 will be a better option.

Scenario 3
Wait till Joshwa's asleep God knows how long
will wait. We waited for 20 months whats
a few hours. Scenario 1 will be a great option
but if you know us will probably just go with
this option.

31 Days To Go

I only have 31 Days to go. Am I prepared? No not really.
Am I preparing? Again. No not really.
Our clothes are all ready and sorted I moved
all my scrapbook layouts in the binder albums and that's it.

Joshwa has been banned from eating at Jollibee and
Mc Donalds. He has been on that Jollibee and Mc
Donalds phase for awhile and it's best to train
him to avoid eating there.

I haven't really talked to my mom about what to do
with our stuff like appliances. As if its mine.. the only
decent appliances that I could call my own is my
washing machine and my stereo. The other appliances
came from my parents. Since they gave it to us.
I'll just let them decide as to what to do with it.

I'm not having a despedida. I already had one with
my scrapbook friends and thats it. I couldn't have
asked for a better send off.

I can't wait to leave i truly mean this but I'm also
leaving a part of myself behind. But I'm going into
the biggest adventure of my life. Starting Over.

Selling

Im selling all of my scrapbook stuff.
Akala ko nung una di sya magiging madali
pero surprisingly di naman sya ganun
kahirap. Nung una iniisip ko pa lang na
ibebenta ko sya parang nalulungkot ako.
Pero naisip ko di ako dapat malungkot kasi
madali na para sa akin magsimula uli.

Di ko na pagdadaanan yung mga pagkakamali
ko dati na bibili tapos di ko pala kailangan.
At least ngayon mag simula man ako
muli mas alam ko na dapat ko gawin.

Lurking in the background
Waiting in the shadow
Trying not to be noticed
But Your looks just gave you away.
Very mysterious, yet very charming
Very good looking yet quiet and unassuming
The question on everyone's mind that night

WHO ARE YOU?

How God Chooses by: Emma Bombeck

I stumbled upon this and it got me teary eyed...
(Copied from lpsi.org site)

Most women become mothers by accident,
some by choice, a few by social pressures and
a couple by habit.This year, nearly 100,000 women
will become mothers of handicapped children.

Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped
children are chosen?What can you do to help your c
child improve his or her behavior?

Follow three basic child rearing rules and
avoid four possible errors.Somehow I visualize
God hovering over earth selecting His instruments
for propagation with great care and deliberation.

As He observes. He instructs his angels to make notes
in a giant ledger."Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint,
Matthew."Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, patron saint,
Cecilia."Rudledge, Carrie, twins, patron saint" give her
Gerard. He is used to profanity."

Finally, He passes a name to an angel and smiles,
"Give her a handicapped child."The angel is curious,
"Why this one, God? She's so happy.""Exactly." smiles God.
"Could I give a handicapped child a mother who does
not know laughter? That would be cruel."
"But has she patience?" asks the angel."I don't want her to
have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of
self-pity and despair, once the shock and resentment
wears off, she'll handle it."I watched her today.

She has that feeling of self and independence that is
so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child
I'm going to give her has his own world. She has to make
it live in her world and that's not going to be easy."
"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you.
"God smiles, "No matter, I can fix that.

This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness.
"The angel gasps, "Selfishness is that a virtue?
"God nods."If she can't separate herself from the
child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a
woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect.
She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied.
She will never take for granted a spoken word.
She will never consider a step ordinary.

When her child says "Mumma" for the first time she
will be present at a miracle and know it. When she
describes a tree or a sunset to her blind child, she
will see it as few people ever see my creations."
I will permit her to see clearly the things I see
ignorance, cruelty, prejudice and allow her to rise
above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her
side every minute of every day of her life because
she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my
side.""And what about her patron saint?" asks the
angel, his pen poised in mid-air.God smiles.

"A mirror will suffice

The Fab 5

I was so happy to be able to see them
ay grabe they were so worth the wait.
Sobrang saya nila and I so love their
sense of humor.The best talaga!!

Fab 5 is coming tomorrow and I can't wait..
Im such a fan talaga.. My camera has been
charged and im all set and ready to go..

Had a HUGE,HUGE argument with my mom today.
She was talking to me di lang ako sumagot she
started screaming at me. It was so demeaning..
I feel so bad... I dont think she knows the effect
she has on me when she starts screaming like
that and talking like that to me. It makes me
feel so low, unworthy and so belittled. Im sure
she feels like she can't wait til I leave. Well this
are one of those moments that make me feel
like I do too.

Caught in the Middle by Leira Pagaspas

Caught in the middle
Of a woe that is not done by my own doing
Wanting to please my family and the love of my life.

As a third person in the story
I wish I could control it
Finish it to help them
Fix it to help him


Is time and distance my friend or foe?
Always thinking about what I can do.
To please them and help them.
To help him get out of this sticky bind.


Caught in the middle of a woe that is not
done by my own doing.
I just want this to be over and done with.
So that we all could live happily together.
In the land that is supposed to be the land
of ever afters.

Driving..

I know I'm moving and I'm supposed to learn how to
drive pero part of me doesn't want to. My parents
and my husband flatly said No out loud when I said
that I wanted to learn how to drive.

I have 7 weeks to go a lot of things can happen.

Derby

Derby( yes her real name is really Derby parang
Derby na cockfight and Derby na Kentucky Derby)
is my long lost 1st cousin.. I haven't seen her
in 18 years. Ay grabe nung dumating sya di ako
makapaniwala na sya na yun. I last saw her
when she was 3 years old and now 21 na sya..
I really never thought that I would see her
again and yet I was lucky to be able
to spend some with her.

Its Here..

Sa wakas nakakuha na kami ng visa ni Joshwa.
I'm looking forward to starting this new
phase in our lives.. Sa wakas makakasama
na namin si Philbert.

Ang masasabi ko lang ay Thank You Lord!!!
God is Good All The Time!

Joshwa's Other Latest Photo

Joshwa's Latest Photo

Grabe na talaga ang panahon
ngayon. I went out to eat
yesterday at sa halagang
PhP 120 eto na lang nabili ko.
Di na katulad dati dami ka
nang mabibili sa PhP100

I WANT to see Andrea again

I REMEMBER our last family vacation
http://community.webshots.com/album/550940725KoRNmy

I FOUND out that I give myself was little credit..

I HEAR Joshwa excitedly talking

I REGRET not fighting for Andrea but at that time it was out of my hands.

I PRAY that Joshwa & I will be given a US Visa.

I ALWAYS make it a point to call Joshwa's teachers and ask about his
improvements

I WIN whenever I fight with Philbert kasi maski na he says no. I can make him
say yes eventually.

I LOSE track of time when I scrapbook

I NEED to fix everything that I need to do before I leave

I PLAY with my papers and tools whenever I scrapbook.

I LOOK forward to seeing my husband and sisters really soon.

Adopted?

Recently nagtataka ako bakit nagtatanong mga tao
kung adopted si Joshwa.

Syempre hindi.. anak ko talaga sya di ako defensive
naiirita lang. Bakit ganun they just look at me and
say to themselves you can't be the mom as if
I dont deserve to be his mom.

Kasi why do they have to keep asking
kung adopted si Joshwa di ba namin deserve
magkaron ng guapong anak?

Di ko na lang pinansin pero the last straw was
nung may nagtanong narinig ni Joshwa. Kaya pala
lately parang di nya ako sinusunod.

Then yaya mentioned it to me last Sunday na
people have been asking her kung adopted
si Joshwa nang andun si Joshwa sa harap
nila "thinking" na di sila naiintindihan ni Joshwa.

So I sat down with Joshwa to tell him that
he's not adopted and that Daddy and I love him so much.
Naiyak si Joshwa and I felt him lean against him
parang in his own way he was hugging me.

I felt really bad and i just kept telling him that
I love him.

Sa wakas natapos na ako sa Professional Regulatory
Commission. Hayy grabe nakakapagod 2 days na wala
akong ginawa kungdi magtatakbo from one place to
another. Walang sistema dun as in walang nakalagay
kung ano dapat mo gawin. Bahala ka na dumiskarte.
Tapos ang mga staff dun ang susungit sa dami nang
staff dun mga limang staff lang yung nakilala ko
dun na mabait at willing tumulong. Yung iba ang
yayabang akala mo kung sino.

Masaya ako na natapos ko na sya siguro leksyon
na din sa akin ito na kung may gagawin dapat
gawin ko ng maaga.

I AM so tired.. I went to school to get my Transcript na
di ko rin nakuha kasi kailangan nila ang marriage contract ko..

I HAVE to go back to school again tomorrow and have
to go to PRC next week..

I WISH that Joshwa and I could go to the US
to be with Philbert before my birthday

I HATE it that i have to do all this paperwork
for my board exam nang last minute.

I MISS Philbert so much and Andrea I think about her all
the time

I FEAR that if we don't leave soon Joshwa might
not even recognize his dad.

I LOVE Philbert and Joshwa

I AM NOT going to stop scrapbooking..

I DANCE when i'm really really drunk.

I SING when I feel like it.. Much to the disgust of
those around me (hahahhaa)

I CRY at the wrong times... which is weird I don't cry
pag galit ako or may masakit.Mas naiiyak pa ako pag
napapanuod ko na may natulungan si Oprah or when
I watched Vilma Santos's episode sa MMK that episode
really touched a raw nerve

I WRITE when i feel like it..

I SHOULD be calling Joshwa's school to re-schedule
the Parent Teacher Meeting that's suppose to be on Monday

LIFE SIMPLE PLEASURES

Sometimes it's really nice to appreciate the finer things in life

1. Talking to my husband on the phone

2. Playing with Joshwa.

3. Eating Ice Cream with Joshwa.

4. Scrapbooking

5. Going to Mass

6. Our Annual Family Vacation

7. Watching TV

8. Talking to my sisters on the phone

9. Going to the mall with Marisa

10. Eating Out with my parents

Scrapbook Event

I was able to go to the Scrappin Mania event
organized by the Scrappin Moms. The event
was a huge success.. Scrap heaven sya there
were 9 sellers and they all had a field day
kasing daming tao dumating and daming
bumili. May mga seminars and lectures
sila. Madami ring sumali sa scrap challenge.
Sumali din ako and I will be posting my
work soon. It was my first time to use
a hinge on my work and okay pala sya gamitin.
Although di ako nanalo okay lang naman
din kasi some of the winners ka e-group ko.
It was fun to be able to join and see
my scrapbook friends after a loonnnng hiatus.

6 Weird Facts About Me.,

1. I love Ice Cream for me there's always a good excuse
to eat ice cream.

2.I love taking photos. But I'm no tready to invest
in a very expensive camera. I think being a scrapbooker has helped
to develop my eye for detail

3. I don't like confrontations. Early on I have learned to
let things go rather than fight about it.

4. I always read the obituary.

5. I always read the marriage banns posted
outside the church.

6. I'm a fan of Mark Ruffalo which is really
weird because aside from Marisa no one I know is a
fan of his.

Nang Dahil Sa Yakult.

Nilagnat si Joshwa nung isang gabi
talagang nag panic ako kasi talagang
nilalamig sya at pumayag sya mag kumot.
Di ko sya pinapasok sa eskuelahan nung
Huwebes. Pagdating ng Huwebes ng Hapon
tumawag ang nag aalaga sa kanya at
sinabi nyang nagsuka si Joshwa. Sabi ko
obserbahan nya si Joshwa kung susuka
uli. Pagkatapos nung limang minuto tumawag
uli. Nagsuka na naman daw si Joshwa tumawag
ako kay Papa at nag text kay Mama para sabihin
na kailangan dalhin si Joshwa sa ospital.

Maputla si Joshwa nung nakita ko.Dinala
namin agad sa Emergency Room. Pero wala
naman silang makitang sakit nya. Kaya niresetahan
kami ng gamot at pinauwi.

Pagkalabas namin at nasa taxi na kami
inusisa kong mabuti kung ano ba talaga
ang nakain ang sagot sa akin kaunti lang daw
ang nakain ni Joshwa biscuit lamang at kaninang
umaga pagkagising 3 yakult ang ininom.

Kakagigil talaga sya sa katigasan ng ulo nya
muntik na mapahamak ang anak ko.
Kaya ipinaalala ko talaga na kaya nga sabi ko
isang beses lang sa isang araw ang yakult
at di puede ng gutom. Pasalamat na lang din ako
at walang nangyari sa kanya. Kaya pala nung
tinatanong sya ng doctor di makasagot ng maayos.

Day 7 Time to Go Home

Day 6 At The Reunion

Day 3,4,5 SWIMMING

Day 2 At the Farm

Dipolog Vacation Day 1

AT THE AIRPORT

INSIDE THE AIRPLANE

Bukas na ang alis namin di pa rin ako fully
prepared parang feeling ko may kulang pa
sa binili ko or dapat ko gawin.At the same
time excited ako for Joshwa kasi 1st time
nya sumakay ng airplane.

Sorry i'm going to start ranting again
Nainis ako sa isang "tita" ko hilig makialam
sa buhay ng may buhay.I've had enough
of the unsolicited advices and the bitching.
I just want to tell her na lang na leave me
alone. It usually comes in three's so
nakakadalawa na sya isa na lang. Di lang nya
alam madami ring naiinis sa anya kasi
mayabang sya. Lagi kong naiisip
yung sinasabi sa bible he who has no
sin cast the first stone. Tuwing naiinis ako
sa kanya kung may connection yan di ko
alam basta yan lang naiisip ko.

Tampo

Nagtatampo ako ng kaunti kay Hon kasi tumawag ako
busy sya. Lately lagi na lang syang busy. Miss ko na
sya pero lagi syang walang time para kausapin ako.
Lagi ko na lang sinasabi sa sarili ko intindihin na lang
sya kasi talaga namang busy sya talagang iniintindi
ko sya kaya minsan iniisip ko di mo ba kayang
iwanan yang ginagawa mo para kausapin ako
maski 3 minutes lang.

Wala lang nagtatampo lang ako kasi gusto ko lang
naman sya makausap kahit sandali lang.
Pero maski ganito nararamdaman ko di ko na rin
naman sinabi sa kanya sinarili ko na lang.
Miss na miss ko na kasi sya until then andito
lang naman ako maghihintay na lang uli
ng tamang tyempo baka sa susunod di na sya
busy pag tumawag ako.

Kumon

Joshwa has been doing so great ever since
he started doing Kumon last November.

Well according to their website The essence of the
Kumon Method is the curriculum of distinct
skill levels broken down into smaller blocks.
The materials span the entire spectrum from
preschool right through to university level.
Preschool and early primary students flourish
with progress through the levels in small,
manageable increments.

Now Joshwa is now learning how to talk.
He can now read and can now focus on the
task at hand he can even do puzzles.

What's good about Kumon also is that its
repetitive so Joshwa can really understand it.
I'm just so happy about his development.

Its like he is starting to unravel right before
my very eyes and I'm in no means saying
that he's cured or anything but I really
feel strongly about the development that he is
showing.

Malapit na ang vacation namin. Medyo kabado pa rin
ako kasi wala pa yung provision na pinagdadasal ko.
Pero kung di sya dumating baka di para sa amin.

At the same time excited ako kasi 1st time ni Joshwa
sumakay ng airplane. Iniisip ko kung dapat ko sya
painumin ng bonamine or something that would
calm him down during the flight.

Di pala alam ng mga kamag-anak ko na special
child si Joshwa. Di ko alam kung paano ko sasabihin.
Do i have to explain? Tell them upfront? Tell them
when they ask me? Kasi di naman lahat alam. Pero
di ko rin yan tinago sa kanila.

Pero aside from the concerns above medyo
excited rin ako to be with Joshwa in Dipolog.
Dami ko na ngang iniisip na itinerary kung saan
ko puede dalhin si Joshwa kung saan kami
pupunta, kung saan kami kakain at mga puede
naming gawin. Scrapbook moments na naman.

Nagsisimula na magsalita si Joshwa. Kakatuwa
talagang sobrang na-appreciate ko yung effort nya
(sa mga PBB fans familiar ang line na yan kanino
kaya galing yan?)

My name is (clear ito) Oshwa Papapapas instead
of Joshwa Pagaspas. Kakatuwa marinig kasi he
really says it with pride.

His diagnosis is from Autism to
PDD(Pervasive Developmental Disorder)

Pervasive developmental disorder-
not otherwisespecified (PDD-NOS) is the current
“general” diagnosis for many disorders on the
Autism Spectrum, including autism, Asperger’s Syndrome,
Rhett’s Syndrome and childhood disintegrative
disorder. Sometimes, a physician will use the term
PDD-NOS when there are recognizable “autistic-like”
characteristics being displayed in an individual, but
the testing is inconclusive or incomplete to meet the
criteria for a more specific diagnosis. In addition,
some physicians will use the term PDD-NOS
because of attitudes/stigma attached to the word “autism.”

Malapit na ang vacation namin. I'm leaving next
Sunday (April 9) One thing I'm dreading to hear
is "tambok naman ka kaayo" (ang taba mo sobra
in sobra) or nganong nadako man ka( why did
you become that big?) Im praying that I may
have the patience to smile through all of that
or whatever. I love going to Dipolog but
sometimes I dread those questions.

Tapos na..

Sa wakas natapos na rin ang semester na ito.
Masasabi ko lang ay Thank You LORD!

Lately,laging sinasabi ng Mama ko plan your life
as if dito ka lang muna. So that's what I'm doing.
Nag enroll ako for the Licensure Examination
for Teachers review this summer. Then enroll
naman uli next semester para maging SPED
teacher ako. Tapos mag board exam ako sa August.
Hopefully makapasa ako para kahit saan ako
makarating puede ako mag turo.

Inis

Paano ka makikisama sa isang tao na inis na inis ka.
Tuwing makikita mo sya at alam mong inis ka pa
di ka mapakali. Hay God Help me kasi ganyan ang
feeling ko ngayon inis na inis ako sa katulong ng mama
ko.

All i want is an apology from her but I won't
demand it. Maski ano pa sabihin nya about me
si God ang kakampi ko at sya ang bahala sa akin.

At the moment, maingat na ako pag andyan sya
di ako mapakali. Di ko sya kinakausap about
what happened kasi I don't want to hear
whatever she has to say.Di na rin naman nya
mababago kung ano man nagawa nya.

Mawawala din itong inis ko siguro in a few weeks
okay na uli ang lahat.

Joshwa

Minsan talaga di ko maiwasan pag may nakikita akong
kids na ka age ni Joshwa or sometimes mas bata
naiisip ko talaga all the things that he could, should
and would have been doing if he didn't have what he
has. As quickly as I have thought about it I'm also
quick to dismiss it kasi I love Joshwa and I couldn't
and wouldn't trade him for anything in this world.

I'm sure in time he will be able to do things that kids like his
age could do and that for me would be a great moment.

I did learn that the best things in life are truly
worth waiting for and that's what Joshwa brings
out in me the patience in waiting that one day
he will be so much better than what is expected
of him

I've been tagged by Mickee..Parang di na ata updated sagot ko
kasi 5 years old na si Joshwa




How did you feel during those first few days after the birth?
==> I had a C-section so it was hard at first. But after a few
days I was up and about and was able to fix Joshwa's baptism.
He was baptized when he was 9 Days old.

How were you emotionally?
==>It was terrible. I was the poster girl for PPD i tell you and
my husband had to bear the brunt of it .

Is there anything you wish people had told you
about the postpartum period?
==> That people shouldn't joke about this things
because its not a joke to go through this
and I salute those women who come forward to
seek medical help.

How long do you plan to breastfeed?
==> Initially I wanted to breastfeed as long as
I could but at the time there was no support system for me.
Wala pang breastfeeding counsellor na puede mag house
call para turuan ka kung paano mag latch.

Do you have any advice for getting through those first weeks of breastfeeding?
==> Support is very important find a friend or get your husband to rally behind you to encourage you
when you feel like giving up

Was there any stress between you and your husband over the baby?
==> None because Philbert is the best dad. At times he may not be
a great husband but he is the best dad he would wake up in the
middle of the night and prepare milk for Joshwa and the works and
he would give Joshwa a bath. He would gladly babysit Joshwa when
the need arises.

Let's talk about your body, Did things get totally rearranged?
==> Hahahaha

Care to share how much you weighed before and how much now?
==> Hahahhaha....

What advice-or comfort-can you offer other new moms about
their weight ?
==> These too shall pass

How important is it for you to have a work identity?
==> Well for me if I had a choice I would really want to just work from the
home and focus on Joshwa .

Was your baby a lot of fun right from the start?
==> no he was crying and waking up at 3 am not fun at all

What's your baby like now?
==> He's a big boy and he brings us so much joy

Holy Week Plans

Akala ko wala kaming plans this holy week.
I was prepared to just stay at home and scrap
all day.Sinabihan ako ni Mama nag mag pa book
ng airline kasi uuwi kami ng Dipolog. We will be there
for 6 days. I'm excited because it's Joshwa's 1st
airplane ride. Something to scrap about at syempre dahil
mag vacation kami nag order na akong papers to go with
the photos..Nakisabay ako sa isang friend na nag order
din. I hope na maenjoy ni Joshwa ang Dipolog.
Sign ba ito baka ibig sabihin next trip namin ni Joshwa
international na..

Colds

Naku ngayon pa ako nagkaron ng colds nahawa ako kay
Joshwa. Ngayon magaling na sya ako naman ang napuruhan.
Masakit ang sinus ko pati ang ulo ko I've been drinking
Hornex and Biogesic pero ayaw mag work. Naiinis ako kasi
di talaga maganda ang timing malapit na finals sa school
daming nasimulan wala pang natatapos. I guess my body is
telling me to slow down and let me heal for a bit before
I try to do anything else.

March SOL

· Philbert is my bestfriend
· Cinderella is my favorite Disney princess.
· Corny jokes make me laugh.
· I don’t know how to wear make-up
· Kinder Bueno is my favorite ever chocolate bar
· I already have a name for my next child Harry James Potter or Gandhia Michelin
· I call on St. Anthony whenever I lose something
· I really want to live in a house with a big lawn and a swimming pool
· I am 5 feet and two inches tall.
· I am not good at haggling.
· I look forward to the scrapbooking gatherings every month
· I can spend the whole day just surfing the internet.
· I can’t dance.
· Know-it-alls irritate me.
· I can’t leave home without my cell phone.
· I can’t resist cake or any other sweets for that matter
· I could never stare into a person’s eyes.
· I don’t know how to ride a bike.
· I don’t know how to swim in deep waters.
· I don’t know how to use rollerblades or a skate board.

Materials Used:

DCWV paper
Chatterbox Tag
Chatterbox Vellum
Rob and Bob Paper
Provo Craft Paper
Craft Express Stickers
Paper Pizzaz
Heart Brads
Basic Grey

February SOL

Eto yung journalling ko:

The date today is February 28,2006
Inside, I feel like I’m 24 years old .
I’m okay but I’m feeling really blue I miss Philbert so
much. I thought things would get better but I’m still not
used to the feeling that Philbert’s not here.
I was named after someone my mom had a bestfriend
named Tito/Tita Ariel and so my mom spelled
his name backwards thus the name Leira.
My nicknames are Lei, Leirs, Lira, & Leir
Aside from Philbert my bestfriend at the moment is Marisa.
My favorite dessert is ice cream and
my favorite flavor is Rocky Road.
My favorite weekend activity is spending time with
Joshwa and eating ice cream with him.
The least favorite thing about myself Is that
I’m fat and I don’t know how to lose all the weight.
My most recent achievement is getting good grades in school.
What I’m worried is not being to be able to see Philbert again
I think I would just die if that happened to me.

Materials Used:

DCWV papers
Basic Grey Tag
Paper Pizzaz
Ribbons
Provo Craft Paper

Slice of Life

One of our projects within the group that could
somehow motivate us to do a least one Lay Out
a month is the Slice of Life. I'm posting my Slice
of Life Layouts(SOL) here. I'm going to start with my
January SOL na February ko na ginawa

A Slife of My Life

This LO was supposed to be January pero
Feb 13 ko na sya nagawa. Eto yung journalling
na ginamit ko.

The date today is February 13,2006.
My mother’s maiden name is Rescina taken
from my Lolo’s name REStituto and my Lola’s
name luCINA. At the moment I’m wearing a
Polo shirt dark blue and a pair of denim jeans.
The last person I talked to on the phone was my
cousin LALI .A goal I’m working on right now is
trying to fix our papers so that we can apply for
our visa that is also something that I am saving for.
What I thought I would be doing right now is being
a Stay at Home Wife and Mother. Philbert, Joshwa
and Andrea are the people that I really think about
a lot. Philbert is really the person that I miss the most.
My birthday is on October 19.If I see a shooting star
the only wish that I have in my heart that Joshwa and
I will be able to leave the Philippines before 2006 ends.

Materials Used:
Ribbons
Acetate
DCWV paper
Chatterbox Paper
Rob & Bob Paper
Basic Grey Paper
Porcelain Flowers
Staple Wires

Jeremiah 29:11

This verse really stands out for me kasi
feeling ko talaga God is assuring me
na sya bahala sa akin.

11 For I know the plans I have for you,"
declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and
not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

God Will Make A Way

Malapit na kami mag apply ng Visa
medyo uneasy ang feeling ko pero
talagang this song really gave me
comfort it's as if God is speaking to
me through this song. Please include
us in your prayers na sana matuloy
ang travel plans namin this year ni
Joshwa para makasama na namin
ni Philbert.


God Will Make A Way
Don Moen

God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength
For each new day
He will make a way
He will make a way
By a roadway in the wilderness
He'll lead me
And rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and earth will fade
But His Word will still remain
He will do something new today