Thursday, July 26, 2007

My Latest LO

Title : My 3 Wishes

materials used:

MME Magnolia Paper

MME Wild Asparagus Paper

Heidi Swapp Bradds

Heidi Swapp Ribbons

Sasafrass Lass Stickers



By Rascal Flatts

I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow

And each road leads you where you want to go

And if you’re faced with the choice and you have to choose

I hope you choose the one that means the most to you

And if one door opens to another door closed

I hope you keep on walkin’ ‘til you find the window

If it’s cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile

But more than anything, more than anything


My wish for you

Is that this life becomes all that you want it to

Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small

You never need to carry more than you can hold

And while you’re out there gettin’ where you’re gettin’ to

I hope you know somebody loves you

And wants the same things too

Yeah, this is my wish

I hope you never look back but you never forget

All the ones who love you

And the place you left

I hope you always forgive and you never regret

And you help somebody every chance you get

Oh, you find God’s grace in every mistake

And always give more than you take

But more than anything, yeah more than anything

Chorus x2

My wish for you

Is that this life becomes all that you want it to

Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small

You never need to carry more than you can hold

And while you’re out there gettin’ where you’re gettin’ to

I hope you know somebody loves you

And wants the same things too

Yeah, this is my wish

This is my wish

I hope you know somebody loves you

May all your dreams stay big

Monday, July 23, 2007


i just want to vent and let it out.. i hate the injections..kasi naman masakit talaga sya eh and i dread it everyday i have to do it. which is like 3 times a day it but i have to do it.. masakit sya and may times na palpak ako and i end up injuring myself. hay naku kaunting tiis na lang talaga.. 3 months to go na lang and i cant wait.. i know sasabihin selfish ako its not for me . its for the baby eh sa masakit talaga sya eh.. sometimes i wish I could just prepare the insulin and Philbert could just poke me with the injection eh di daw nya kaya kasi siguro takot sya pero takot din naman ako ano pero kinakaya ko na lang kasi kung di ako walang gagawa... im rambling i know just wanted to let it now.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Harry's Here

My book just arrived... im so excited to read it and i dont want to put it down. Si Joshwa kasi ang kulit eh kaya lagi ko na lang sinasaway.. hahaha naninisi pa.. pero from what im reading so far maganda sya..

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Waiting for Harry

The book is still not here.. im getting so impatient na. I know patience is a virtue pero naman i waited for so long and yet wala pa rin. Naisip ko baka naman hinatid nila tapos nakatulog ako pero they leave a note on the door that says we weren't able to deliver because you weren't there. Naiinis lang ako at naiinip na...

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Just like everyone else I am so excited about Book 7. I will be eagerly anticipating the mail from Amazon. So many questions still need to be answered... Like the rest of the world i would be transporting myself to Hogwarts and reading about Harry's adventures as a wizard on his last year at Hogwarts.. 5 days to go..

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Ne-Yo - So Sick

Gotta change my answering machine
Now that I'm alone
'Cause right now it says that we
Can't come to the phone
And I know it makes no sense
'Cause you walked out the door
But it's the only way I hear your voice

(It's ridiculous)
It's been months for some reason I just
(Can't get over us)
And I'm stronger than this
(Enough is enough)
No more walking 'round with my head down
I'm so over being blue
Crying over you

And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing
You were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs
So sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?

Gotta fix that calendar I have
That's marked July 15th
Because since there's no more you
There's no more anniversary
I'm so fed up with my thoughts of you
And your memories
And now every song reminds me
Of what used to be

That's the reason
I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing
You were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs
So sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?

O-o-h (Leave me alone)
Leave me alone (Stupid love song)
Don't make me think about her smile
Or having my first child
Then lettin' go
Turning off the radio

(Chorus x3)
'Cause I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing
She were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs
So sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?
(So why can't I turn off the radio?)
Why can't I turn off the radio?

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Time, Love and Tenderness by Michael Bolton

This is a classic song circa 1990's i heard this song the other day and i couldn't stop singing the chorus

So you say that you can't go on
Love left you cryin'
And you say all your hope is gone
And what's the use in tryin'
What you need is to have some faith
Shake off those sad blues
Get yourself a new view, oh

Nothing is as sadas it seems you know
'Cause someday you'll laugh at the heartache
Someday you'll laugh at the pain
Somehow you'll get through the heartache
Somehow you can get through the rain

When love puts you through the fire
When love puts you through the test
Nothing cures a broken heart
Like time, love and tenderness
When you think your world is over
Baby, just remember this
Nothing heals a broken heart
Like time, love and tenderness
Time, love and tendrness

I understand how you're feelin' now
And what you've been through
But your world's gonna turn around
So, baby, don't you be blue
All it takes is a little time
To make it better
The hurt won't last forever, oh

All the tears you are gonna dry you know
'Cause someday you'll laugh at the heartache
Someday you'll laugh at the pain
You may be down on your luck
But baby that old luck's gonna change


Baby, oh baby, you just need some
You just need some
Time, love and tenderness

Time, love and tenderness
The hurt ain't gonna last forever
Oooh oooh
Time, love and tendernes
Time, love and tenderness

Baby, it's all you need....
Time, love and tenderness...(repeat)

Monday, July 09, 2007

Joshwa's 1st Day of Extended School Year

Joshwa started his 1st year of extended school year today.
Medyo nakakamiss din pala na wala sya. I actually felt sad
to see him ride the bus.Kaso naman before he rode the bus
he was hugging me and didn't want to let go which was
unusual for him. Na touch ako talaga. Ewan ko if he'll miss
the time he spent with me. Pero ako na guilty for those
times na napapagalitan ko sya kasi minsan makulit kasi talaga eh.
Initially i was so excited that he was going to go back to school.
Pero ngayon papasok na sya na lungkot naman ako.

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Take That - Shine - Concert For Diana

Concert for Diana Take That Back For Good

I'm a Take That fan..was so excited that they decided to sing together at the for Concert for Diana

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Autism Speaks

this video really echose what i feel and what we went through.

1. Food you hate - None. I'm open to anything..

2. Fruits you hate - Durian & Marang..

3. Veggies that you hate - I don't hate ampalaya i just don't want to eat it.

4. Celebrities or people that you hate - Ogie and Regine.. wasn't even surprised when they admitted na sila na

5. Event/Incident/Situation that you hate - walking, hiking and exploring the great outdoors and im not just an outdoor kind of person

6. TV Shows or Movies that you hate - wala naman because if i hate it so much why would i bother watching it in the first place.

7. Type of Music that you hate - music that has profanity in it.

8. Household chore that you hate -i hate all household chores.

9. Things you hate about the world - poverty

10. Things that youhate about yourself - i'm super lazy. im a procrastinator.

Sunday, July 01, 2007

This is a good article was really struck with what she said
because I do feel like I'm starting to be a witch especially
now that Joshwa is on vacation.

Witch mother
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Mama, are you a witch?” my little one asks. He has developed a fascination for witches that is reaching an amusing peak. Yes, I always answer, even if I know that certain people — and I won’t mention names — are itching to replace the first letter of that word with, uh, something else. “Bad or good?” he wants to know. That he needs to ask doesn’t bode well for me, but I insist on finding comfort in this faint display of doubt.

I’ve always had a thing for witches and people have referred to my mother, sisters and I as a coven, more for our razor-sharp intuition and extrasensory perception (dulled only, though repeatedly, by love) than any actual witch-like traits, i.e., warts, black robes, hooked noses, black, bubbling cauldrons… you get the picture. So, I actually delight in my own child trying to verify my sterling witch roots. Yes, I am a witch, inherently good until I became a mother and the hormones became crazily more female. Well, okay, it isn’t just hormones. It’s mostly fatigue, too, brought by the daily demands of hands-on, conscious motherhood.

There are days when equanimity escapes me and every ounce and drop of patience along with it. It happens, especially if mommies don’t get enough sleep, thanks to several unwelcome nocturnal visits from their children. It also happens when, already robbed of sleep, mommies are rudely awakened by pre-dawn whining, especially since rules are very clear about that tone of voice, that early in the morning. My boys have been told, even shown, that whining is the vocal equivalent of dragging a rake through my innards, but even that rather evocative visual flies out the window once they have decided to have a go at it. These are a few examples of what brings out my inner traditional witch and when that happens, even the crazy hormone-challenged woman in me looks like Mother Teresa. Yes, there are days everything rushes to the surface and I simply let it fly: big eyes, bellowing angry voice, slamming, banging. Rage.

But, oh, the guilt. The guilt.

Just this week a brief exchange with some mommies over our “bad behavior” proved that every mother 1) carries too much guilt; 2) does her best to be warm, gentle, kind and loving always; 3) inevitably fails at number 2 and finds herself raging, yelling, screaming, threatening and generally becoming a bad witch; and then 4) repeatedly opens her baggage to accommodate more of number 1. We also own too many books about how to be better mothers where we are told how to control our tempers, to always use the “I” voice, treat our children with respect, kindness, warmth… you name it, we’ve read it, tried it, failed at it and hated ourselves for it. Such is the emotional drama of real moms everywhere.

During this mommy-beating session, I did share that children needed to see their parents being wicked — not every day, but they do. No, I didn’t make it up. One of our Waldorf mentors sent me a very short paragraph written by author, Dr. Till Bastian, aptly entitled “Children need wicked parents.” In it he shares that children need to know how far they can go because they do go astray when they have no limitations and boundaries. So he suggests we dare to be “wicked” sometimes, make unpopular decisions, because these belong to the hard side of education. Children who have never experienced such a boundary cannot find their foothold on life.

Of course I know that ranting and raving are not the best expressions of boundary, but I am also very slowly learning to accept that part of me as real. It needs taming and transformation, but there it is. It is the part of me that arrives when I reach my own boundary. I have an amazing capacity to be stretched, then stretched some more when other people have long since walked out, but when I arrive at the boundary, I am there with bells and whistles: WITCH ON WHEELS. There is no turning back. This is a boundary my children know and respect though I am adding less volatile versions to my growing repertoire.

During an endless bickering session between my boys that would not die no matter what, that continued in the car as we got in to run an errand, I decided I had reached my limit. I very calmly asked for the car to stop so I could leave. I wasn’t angry at that point and quite beyond exasperation. I was just tired of it all. So I thought it best for them to run the errand, bickering all they wanted, while I escaped into my quiet home for a good half hour of peace. The car stopped, I said goodbye, opened the door and left. No drama. Later on I was told that the children were seriously silent the whole trip. Now if I could always be that calm.

The very first time I lost it with a child, I called his teacher looking for solace, asking what I might do to take it all back. She gently reminded me that you couldn’t take these things back (thereby causing my heart to hemorrhage) but that if I worked on myself and tried to overcome and transform such weaknesses, the child would also feel my striving. Human striving is a lesson of love that the child imbibes. So we strive.

Alas, it is a lifelong process. Every mother will still have her bad days, despite all her efforts, but it helps to know that we are not alone and as long as we keep striving, keeping up the fervent pleas to the heavens to help us be better today, tomorrow, the day after, reading all those good parenting books and trying out every little tip, counting beyond 10, taking deep breaths and then switching to Lamaze breathing because, what the hell, it might work, locking ourselves in the bedroom just so we can calm down and get it together, doing all this every day — then I’m sure all is not lost.

At a bookstore a year or so ago, a dear friend looked at me and said, “Look what my son asked me to buy for him.” I looked at the heavy book in her hand entitled, Son of a Witch. We had to laugh. It was clear what that made us.

“Mama, are you a witch?” Yes, I am. “Good or bad?” he continues. Like all difficult questions, this one begs to be thrown back. So I do. “What do you think?” I always ask. “Good!” he has unfailingly replied. As long as I’m getting that and my son still sees the good in my witch, I know I’m still being a good enough mother. I am still mother-woman-witch — my home trinity. I can’t be that bad.

Mothers today need to open their hearts and forgive themselves because being a good enough mom is already quite a feat. True and present parenting is a tough job (and don’t let any CEO bully you into thinking otherwise). We have to learn to stop beating ourselves senseless because nobody else will be kind to us about our weaknesses. That’s also part of being a mom. We bathe all the wounds, including our own because that’s just the way it is. So mommy witches, open your hearts and let yourselves in. You are not alone. We are all here rooting for you. We see right into your love and goodness. All will be well.