Im just so giddy my Scarlett's Letter by Basic Grey arrived today.



Was able to get it at $18.45 shipping
included. I found a website na $14.40 lang yung Basic
Grey tapos $4.05 ang shipping. Unlike sa ibang website
na $18 tapos shipping nila is nasa $4 plus tax pa so magiging
mga $23 na siguro sya. Excited lang ako . I can hear my
mom talking to me Anak ang Gastos mo.. Pero for me
these are just perks that I get. I do the budgeting so the
extras I can use for my scrapbooking. Kaya nga staggered
ang pag ordered ko para di naman masakit sa bulsa.



I was thinking of buying a Cricut.





Major Pagtitipid na naman gagawin ko nito
Let us see Cricut or Car Insurance, Cricut or
Grocery Shopping or Cricut or Gas Money.
hahahahha..I could hear my husband saying let me see
Cricut today and no scrapbook shopping for 6 months.
Wahhhhh


Tapos excited din ako kasi padating na ito next week.

PERHAPS COLLECTION







Blush Collection





These two will be coming in May pa..

I pre-ordered it na.

STELLA RUBBY

PHEOBE COLLECTION

Spotting

May spotting ako kaninang umaga.
I was literally speechless.. magkahalong kaba at
takot talaga naramdaman ko. I kept telling myself
Oh God! Lord please help me.. I called the midwife
and thank goodness she called back to tell me
not to panic observe the spotting and REST which means
no layas na talaga. Dapat punta na talaga ako sa
hospital tonight but she told me to observe and
wait kung masakit at unbearable and heavy
bleeding then I should go pero hindi just stay put.
I really, really wanted to see my friends
tomorrow although I told them na malabo na ako
makapunta talagang kinukulit ko talaga si Philbert
na ihatid ako maski sandali lang ako. But now
talagang grounded muna ako. Thankfully wala nang
spotting but still I'm on house arrest pa rin.

Joshwa's own version of Manila.

Joshwa typed this in notepad
i just pasted it here. May mga lyrics na mali
pero i never bothered to correct it..


maraming beses na kitang nilayasan
inwanan at iba ang pinmntalan
parang banaang mahinap talagang malimutan
ikaw lanang ang aking laging binaballkan
manila
manila
i keep coming back to manila
simpply no place like manila
manila i'm coming home
i walked the streets of san francisco
i've tried the rides in disneyland
dated a million geris in sydney
somehow i feel like i don't belong
hinanamanap-hanap kita manila
ang ingay mong kay sarap sa tanga
mga jeepney mong nagiiiiparan
mga babae mong naggagandahan
take me back in your arms manila
and promise me you never let go
promise me you'll never let go
manila manila
i keep coming back to manila
simply no place like manila
manila i'm coming home
hinahanap-hanap kita manila
ang ingay mong kay sarap sa tanga
mga jeepneey mong nagiiiiparan
take me back in your arms manila
and promise me you never let go
promise me you'll never let go
promise me'll never let go
manila manila
miss you like hell manila
no place in the world like manila
i'm coming home to stay

Sa wakas medyo di na ako masungit kay Philbert.
May mga bagay na papalagpasin mo na lang kasi
kung hindi sisimulan pa nang away namin. Pag may
di ako gusto sinasabi ko na lang sa kanya nang
direcho para wala na lang kaming problema.

Mayroon na naman akong unexpected blessings
na dumating.Scrapbook stuff for me and shoes para kay Joshwa
galing sa tito and tita ko na nakatira sa Chicago.Kakatuwa
excited na ako makita yung padala nila.Kailan ko kaya makukuha?
Sometimes wish ko kapitbahay ko lang mga kapatid ko para
puede ko na lang ipakuha kay Philbert. Pero hintay muna ako
kaunting tiis na lang.

Di ko pa nasabi kay Philbert kasi kaka order ko lang ng
gamit pang scrapbook sa joann.com. Sa totoo lang mas type
ko mamili online store or kay Sahrie kaysa sa
scrapbook store. Nainis kasi ako nung one time
by some miracle dinala ako ni Philbert
sa isang scrapbook store di mabait yung mga nagbebenta
di sila helpful. Tapos sa kakaunti lang pinamili ko inabot ng $62
buti na lang yung $22 dun ay para sa hipag ko.

Kailan ko pa ata nang isa pang scrapbook trolley.
Dapat ata lalo akong bumait kay Philbert.

Gaano kaya ako magiging mabait sa kanya
na papayag ako na kung boy ang baby namin
magiging Philbert Jr? Oh Lord!!! Sana talaga
girl itong magiging baby namin. Dati eto yung
gusto kong names

Elementary:

BOY: Sam Darby.. Dont ask me why basta type ako
GIRL: Michelline

HIGHSCHOOL:
BOY: Michael
GIRL:

College:
BOY: Xavier Antonio
GIRL: Sofia, Riela

After College:
BOY: Joshwa, Shane, Jason, Jakob. Harry James Potter (cheesy i know)
GIRL: Elisabeth, Tyrese, Sofia Alessandra,

Wala akong originality sa names. I wish I could
do what my parents did when I picked out the names
of my sisters. I like my sisters names very original.

Eto naman inaabangan ko..

Mood Swings

I don't know whats happening to me.Pero lately I'm very, very moody..
I get upset so easily especially with Philbert. I feel like a freaking
bi-polar.. Extremely happy then one then extremely
upset and I will let him know that I'm upset. Di lang
ito kay Philbert sometimes minsan maski sa mga kausap ko
sa phone di naman sa mga boss ko pero dun sa mga iba. Basta
madali ako ma-irita. I'm not usually like this and I don't want
to be like this. For some reason di ko talaga mapigilan.
Breathe In and Breathe Out. I will really try to keep this
under control. Kaya lang baka naman kakatago ko nang
pagka inis ko atakihin na lang ako.. Decisions! Decisions!

Nausea is something that is new to me.
When I was pregnant with Joshwa I didn't have
bouts of nausea. But lately I've been puking and
puking.. (sorry for the term) But I don't mind
that it's harder now. When I was pregnant with Joshwa
I was in my early 20's now I'm in my early 30's kaya siguro
parang mas mahirap sya.

Here are some interesting FAQ's from babycenter.com

If I don't have morning sickness, does that mean I'm more
likely to have a miscarriage?

Not necessarily.
It's true that a number of studies have shown that
women who have miscarriages are less likely to
have had nausea. (If your baby or your placenta
were not developing properly, you'd have lower
levels of pregnancy hormones in your system,
so it follows that you'd have little or no nausea.)
But there are plenty of women with perfectly
normal pregnancies who manage to escape
nausea during their first trimester. Count yourself
lucky and don't obsess about it if you're not suffering!

Are some pregnant women more likely than others to feel nauseated?You're more likely to have nausea or vomiting during your pregnancy if any of the following apply:

• You're pregnant with twins or higher multiples. This may be from the higher levels of hCG, estrogen, or other hormones in your system. You're also more likely to have a more severe case than average. On the other hand, it's not a definite thing — some women carrying twins have little or no nausea.
• You had nausea and vomiting in a previous pregnancy.
• You have a history of nausea or vomiting as a side effect of taking birth control pills. This is probably related to your body's response to estrogen.
• You have a history of motion sickness.
• You have a genetic predisposition to nausea during pregnancy. If your mother or sisters had severe morning sickness, there's a higher chance you will, too.
• You have a history of migraine headaches.
• You're carrying a girl. One study found that women with severe nausea and vomiting were 50 percent more likely to be carrying a girl.

The Lord has given us another blessing.
We finally have a laptop and whats the
best thing about that is we didn't have to
pay for it. . God is good all the time!!!

I wasn't going to announce it till i was 3 months into
the pregnancy pero naisip ko maybe I should announce
it na lang din so that the ones who visit my blog
can say a short prayer for our baby.

A Day in Manila

Joshwa's current favorite song.

Wordless Tuesday

James Morrison 'You Give Me Something'

Very nice song..

My day isn't going as well as it should..
Joshwa's counsellor will be having a home visit today.
This home visit is stressing me out
that I can't think straight. We have to make a
good impression kasi kung hindi I don't know
what will happen. Although nakapasok na si
Joshwa sa program kailangan pa rin maganda
ang impression nya sa amin which really
makes this house visit really important to us.

Pati yung part time job ko affected na.
Nahihiya talaga ako sa boss ko na palpak ako..
Aminado ako kasalanan ko talaga. Sabihan ko
ba naman yung client nang "Im sorry I dont
know" (Bawal yun eh never say I dont know)
Di ko na naisip isagot yung standard answer.

Di ko naman masabi na sorry kaya di ako
nagiisip ng maayos at lutang ang utak ko
kasi stressed ako may home visit si Joshwa.
Syempre pakiaalam naman nya kung may iba
akong issues di ba. Personal na yun at di ko na
dapat idamay ang trabaho ko.Di na ako nagtangkang
magpaliwanag kasi bottomline is kasalanan ko
talaga.

I know im supposed to focus on the job at hand.
Naiinis ako sa sarili ko that I can't think straight
when I'm under pressure. (which again is not
an excuse for my mistakes) Then I end up looking
stupid. Syempre pati rin boss ko napahiya. I know
kinuha nila ako para makatulong ayoko naman
isipin nila na di naman ako nakatulong dagdag
lang ako sa sakit ng ulo nila. I'm really doing
the best that I can.

A GIFT

Thanks to Diane for this beautiful gift!!

Diane tagged me. So here are my answers.

Culinary

Ice cream.. as in i love it.. ewan ko ba..
I just can't resist the allure of the ice
cream. Eventhough everytime I eat naiisip
ko naku this spoonful of ice cream that
I put in my mouth goes to my thighs and
other parts of my body.I could
live without Pizza but not Ice cream and
I love fried ice cream nakatikim ako dati
sa Angelinos and sa Mongolian Grill
I could never forget the taste. Hanap na lang
ako nang recipe nun.
Literary

Scrapping mags/books , Romance Novels
I have 4 or 5 different subscriptions to scrapbooking magazine.
Mura kasi pa subscribe eh. I recently bought a book related
to scrapbooking and yes im still a HOPEFUL romantic.

Audio-Visual
Grey's Anatomy
Hay naku i love this show bawal mag absent sa harap ng
TV pag Thursday pati yung Friday replay pinapanood ko pa rin.
SERIOUSLY!!

Musical--
Paiba iba hilig ko sa music i like a little bit of everything.
I like to sing pero ayaw ng singing sa akin pati
yung mga nakapaligid sa akin ayaw din nila ako
pakantahin.

Pero kung yung sa musicals talaga
I've seen a few musicals pero my favorite will
always be Ms. Saigon. Not just because Lea Salonga
was performing pero something about it just
moved me.

The musicals that I do want to see would be the ff:

WICKED
MAMMA MIA
GREASE

Celebrity:
A celebrity guilt past time is reading :
http://perezhilton.com/


Who am i tagging?? who ever reads my blogs
and feels like answering the questions.

the blues

Just this afternoon i found out that a friend and an acquaintance
is expecting a baby girl and baby boy they are both due in July
I was supposed to be due in June. Because had we not lost
Gabe i could be finding out by now if my baby was a boy or a girl.
I don't know what I'm supposed to feel. I'm happy for them
and yet i dont know why i feel like this. I'm sure the blues
will go away on it's own.

Joshwa's Favorite Video

This is Joshwa's favorite video. He plays this video every hour,
everyday.

The Secret

Was able to watch OPRAH and it validated something that
a friend told me we really do invite things in our life.
Like if we are full of negativity vicious cycle sya pero
kung may clear vision ka ng gusto mo talagang
matutupad yung vision na yun.

Here are some things that I picked up dun sa show.

• Either you do it or you don't do it. When you say that you'll try it means that you won't.. Like when you say i'll say try to go to this party chances are you wont be there.

• For us to have a Harmonious Life. We have to focus on 5 Aspects.

1. Financial Harmony
2. Relationship Harmony
3. Intentional Harmony
4. Spritual Harmony
5. Physical Harmony
   

• Life is not meant to be a struggle it is meant to be abundant.

• Being unwilling to forgive is drinking the poison and expecting the other one to die but the truth of the matter that the poison is slowly killing you.

It felt good to actually tell yourself for everything that has happened in my life

the good,the bad,the ugly and the pain. thank you.. I was actually crying kasi i told myself thank you for everything. I have truly truly got passed the pain and I thank you that I have finally let it all go. I said thank you that God gave me Joshwa just the way that he is our angel.Im grateful that he is what he is and he is healthy he has truly taught me a lot.I said thank you to my MIL and told myself that she taught me how to be humble in times of suffering. Basta for everyone who may have hurt me whether alam nila or hindi I said thank you and it felt good.

Very powerful sya as Oprah said it was my AHA moment.

*The Secret (featured on 'Oprah') ~ 'The Secret to You'*

The Secret Riches Visualization Tool

This is so powerful.. I watched this on Oprah and It was so moving

Justin Timberlake - Director's Cut - What Goes Around...

I love this new video. So what if it doesn't make sense. Basta for me okay sya.

Happy Valentines Day!! Today was the sweetest valentine's
ever. I woke up with a throbbing headache and I was in
pain my husband was rubbing my head and massaging it
till I went back to sleep. I would have wanted to go out
tonight but I think it's best to stay in.My body is aching and
my head is throbbing.. Good thing the fever has subsided.
Flu and all I still had to bring Joshwa to the bus and pick him up.
My head is still aching our home is a mess. But I couldn't ask for
anything more. The fact that were together makes this valentines
just as special

Mea Culpa

Im one of my last posts I meant to say Pedometer and
instead I typed Odometer,

Baking

I've started baking again. I never really thought
I'd get back to baking mostly because I hate
cleaning up after myself but I really like to
do it. I started cake making and baking
in 2004 kaso di ko ma-apply pinag aralan ko.
I can bake cakes but my icing application
needs a LOT of work. Maybe thats why I
like sticking to brownies and stuff para wala nang
icing I will let my worst critic taste my brownies and she
will tell me if I have my baking mojo back and that
is my mom. I haven't baked brownies and cakes in
at least 4 years.

I didnt do a lot of exercising today masakit kasi
katawan ko. Kasi nabigla ata ako kahapon paano
ba naman pilitin ko ba naman sarili ko mag 10,000
steps in one day. Akala ko kaninang umaga okay lang
ako. Was able to go out and do a bit of walking was able to
do 2000 steps do my errands pag buhat ko
nang plastic bag ouch parang di ko na magalaw braso
ayun pag uwi ko I was in pain. Buti na lang wala na si
Philbert. Kung hindi maski masakit katawan ko di ako
makakadaing. I never learn my lesson when it comes to
fitness. I walked the stairs from 36th Floor to the
Ground Floor and Pauwi sa amin only because I
found out Philbert's cousins call me TABA behind
my back. I was so upset and this was the same
cousin na pinatira namin sa bahay (long story)
Well that stunt landed me in the emergency
room because namaga yung ankles ko and I couldn't
walk. Then they injected with something by mistake
namaga yung mukha ko and from then on
I now have an allergic reaction to Aspirin
and Ibuprofen.

Tapos eto na naman dapat talaga slowly
but surely lang.It was stupid of me
to think that this would be different than the last
time. I just have to remind myself that fitness is a
marathon and I'm never going to win if I try to Sprint again.

My Goal

I was really thinking of what my goal
should be. Do I need to lose xx number of pounds?
Do I need to lose xx number of inches? But I want
it to be realistic. I want an attainable goal so I can start
from there. I want to be able to borrow Philbert's jeans.
Gaganda kasi ng mga pants nya eh. He is a size 28 (sexy sya)
pero his jeans size is a size 30. So at least I have a few inches
to go. I won't say na kung ano basta less than 10 inches ang
goal ko. I hope I can do this without having to give up
ice cream and sweets. I know! I know! I want my cake and
eat it too. Sometimes I tell him I hate you!!! how could
you and your siblings eat so much and not gain that weight.
Samantalang ako I'm still trying to lose my pregnancy weight
with Joshwa. At di na ito okay na excuse because Joshwa is
now 6 years old.

Losing Weight

Ay naku this has been the cause of many
disagreements between me and Philbert.
Of course I want to lose this weight naiinis
lang kasi ako na minsan makulit sya and I get
inis when he jokes about my weight. I know
he wants to challenge me to lose weight kasi naman
he's never been fat so di nya alam na di ganun
kadali mag papayat. Fine! fine! maybe i'm the problem
pero i want a little empathy. A great motivation in going
down a few sizes is that my BFF is getting married next
year unless I want to wear something frumpy and ugly
to her wedding then I need to lose weight, How am I going
to lose this weight? Naisip ko lang is i'm going to try
to walk this all of. I hope na di ako tamarin
please sana naman wag baka masayang ang
odometer ko. Kung hindi talaga ako pumayat naku
then I have to endure all of their comments.
Which is always something I dread hearing.

AT 6

loves to eat ice cream
can now play ticke with Daddy
can now use the computer with so much ease
loves going to school
loves to ride the school bus
loved by everyone
hugs and kisses you out of the blue
can read and count

Materials Used:
Chatterbox Paper
DCWV Paper
DCWV Matt stack
Provo Craft Paper
Making Memories Mailbox Alphabets
Marcella by Kay Metal Accents

My Latest LO's

Materials Used:

Leeza Gibbons Letter Buttons

K & CO word stickers

Marcella By K Tags

Provo craft paper

Basic Grey Stickers

Joann Stickers

DCWV Matt Stacks

Basic Grey Paper

Journalling: We are truly lucky to be together at last as a family. The last 2 years that we have been apart was terribly difficult for the three of us. While I never want to go through the kind of separation that we went through. I have learned to cherish the precious times that we have together

WELCOME TO HOLLAND by Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a
child with a disability - to try to help people who have
not shared that unique experience to understand it,
to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning
a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of
guide books and make your wonderful plans.
The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David.
The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy
phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day
finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go.

Several hours later, the plane lands.
The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland??
I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy.
All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan.
They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken
you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place,
full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books.
And you must learn a whole new language.
And you will meet a whole new group of
people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced
than Italy, less flashy than Italy.
But after you've been there for a while and
you catch your breath, you look around....
and you begin to notice that Holland
has windmills....and Holland has tulips.
Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming
and going from Italy... and they're all bragging
about what a wonderful time they had there.
And for the rest of your life, you will say
"Yes, that's where I was supposed to go.
That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever,
ever, ever go away... because the loss of that
dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning
the fact that you didn't get to Italy,
you may never be free to enjoy the
very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

CNN - Inside Autism - December 27, 2006

CNN - Inside Autism - December 26, 2006

CNN - Inside Autism - July 31, 2006

ALMOST 6

I arise today,looking at you then I realized how tall you have grown.
Was it just yesterday that I held you in my arms.
Your laughther is a gift from heaven.
You are our light and the love of our lives.
We are so proud of the things that you cando.
It maybe trivial to some but so much more than that to us.
Now that your birthday is near I wish that God
will grant you the strength to pilot your destiny.
I wish that God will grant you the might to uphold yourself
under pressure.I wish that God will grant you the wisdom
to help you to make wise decisions.I wish that God will grant
you the best of health.I wish that God will guide you and
protect you in times of troubles.
We love so much.. We only whats best for you.
May you never forgetthat Daddy and Mommy
will always be here for you.

My Big Extended Family

I come from a large extended family.. My mom has 10 siblings

and each child has kids equals 25 apo's This shot was

taken last Dec 31. My Lolo's 38th Death Anniv.

Ive only been absent once and was absent last

Dec 31 because I'm now based outside the Phils.

Mariah Carey and John Legend

I totally love this duet

Season's Greetings

A few days ago I was reading a post in our egroup

that Maria Grace Abuzman a famous scrapbooker

"celebrity" will be coming.I'm like wow saya siguro nun.

Then I saw this. on creatingkeepsakes.com

Beginning in 2007, CKU will be a hybrid of everything

you have loved over the years. We have listened to your

feedback and have incorporated your favorite aspects

into our new format. You love the techniques learned at

a classic CKU – We listened. You love the camaraderie

and accomplishment of finishing a whole album at CKU-A

– You got it. The new CKU will have it all!

Every CKU is a three-day, education-focused

event where the scrapbooking industry's most

talented experts gather to teach you the newest

techniques of the trade. On Thursday you will

be able to use products from your favorite manufacturers

in the Demo Hall, as you work on projects for a 6x6 album.

Complete a little or a lot, its up to you. The fun continues

on Friday as you have the option to attend a full day

of classes or spend the day completing a 12x12 Album.

This schedule will repeat on Saturday, giving you

the chance to participate in both the classes and

album workshops. At each event you will have the

opportunity to learn new techniques from your

favorite scrapbooking celebrities while

completing top of the line projects one day

and an entire album on the other day.

In addition to a high-quality education, CKU offers plenty

of extracurricular activities where you can socialize at

evening activities and crop parties, compete in contests,

participate in hands-on projects and demonstrations

from leading manufacturers in the industry

, and interact with fellow students

who are just as passionate about scrapbooking as you are.

It's a truly unique experience of pure scrapbooking fun!

Join us at these CKU events:
CKU-Detroit: April 19-21, 2007
CKU-Anaheim: June 14-16, 2007 (Malapit lang sa amin)
CKU-Nashville: August 23-25, 2007
CKU-Orlando: October 11-13, 2007

CKU is different from any other scrapbooking conventions.

CKU offers a unique educational experience for a few

hundred students. The quality of the education students

receive at CKU is unmatched by other consumer trade

shows and local classes. CKU is a more structured event

with a timeline of activities, rather than the open forum

of shopping and classes from vendors that is found at a consumer show.

At CKU, the social atmosphere is unique in that students

are surrounded by the same scrapbooking enthusiasts for

the entire length of the event. Students can build long-lasting

friendships and enjoy a close camaraderie with others

who share their passion.

At least may time pa ako mag ipon for this

WOHOOOO!!! CKU here I come wow this

will be my chance to meet Ali Edwards,

Liza Bearnson & Cathy Zielske just to name a few..

Na excite ako.. I cant wait!!!

Joshwa's school Projects

JOSHWA with SANTA




This was done by Joshwa's teacher..


The following are Joshwa's arts and crafts that he did
in school

I know mababaw etong post ko pero naiinis ako
na replay ang Grey's Anatomy. I mean seriously!
Pero syempre ako naman nuod pa rin maski replay.
I guess kasi may Christmas break din sila. Wala lang
excited na ako malaman yung susunod na mangyayari.
According to TV.com January 4 pa ang next new episode.
Until then I will be watching those reruns.

Sorry medyo senti lang ako ha pero binata na si
Brox 12 na sya.. Where did the time go?
I was asking him the last time I saw him
Can you promise me that you wont have a girlfriend
til your 15 di daw nya kaya mag promise and I'm
like NO!!!! matanda na ata talaga ako.

Dati lang baby sya at binubuhat ko but now di ko
na kayang buhatin at di pa naman dumadating sa time
na puede nya akong buhatin baka mapilayan yung bata
kawawa naman.

Here's a photo of Brox and Joshwa

About Joshwa

I received a letter from Joshwa's teacher and I'm so proud
of Joshwa. Here is a copy of the note.

I joined the scrappinmoms challenge yesterday.
It was weird nga eh kasi lahat ng entries may photos
sa akin lang wala. I just need to do something and push
myself to start my own healing. Wala nga lang kaming
printer so I had to use my own handwriting yun ata nakasira.
But Philbert said na that's what makes it personal.

Here is the layout:

Materials Used:

Provo Craft Paper, Colorbook Punch Out Stack,

DCWV Matt Stack & Paper,Basic Grey Paper and Sticker

Journalling is as follows:

Goodbye

To you our baby Gabe,

We wanted you..

We were looking forward to meeting you.

We will be your family forever and always.

We love you Gabe..

You will always be our middle child.

We may have another one but you can never be replaced.

We will love you forever..

I tried to be the better person by saying I can manage
this pain without the pain medications..
I can't I'm in so much pain.

Without the medications the pain was even more painful
compared to my labor with Joshwa and to think I labored for 18 hours.
You know that kind of pain that finally find you the comfortable
position then you have to get up and endure the pain
to go to the restroom and you can't seem to find that
great comfortable position when you go back and lie down.


That pain that you have to whine and say ouch
it hurts so bad but you can't because you don't
want to risk annoying the people around you.

That kind of pain that you can't sleep
because it hurts to move in bed.
I'm not really a crier because if I was
I'd be crying and crying.


Yes thats the kind of pain that I'm feeling without the drugs.
Thank goodness for pain medications.
Im still feeling some pain but not as much.
I don't think I'll be stupid enough to go off the
pain medications again.

My Latest Scrapbook Items

My beautiful, sexy, gorgeous, adorable sister
gave me some money to help me start
with my scrapbooking once again and my hubby
who said that he will buy me some scrapbook
stuff (he had no idea how much that would
eventually cost him)I am one happy
girl. On top of the scrapbook stuff Philbert
will also be paying for my magazine subscriptions
from Creating Keepsakes and Memory Makers
that will hopefully jumpstart me into scrapbooking.
Hubby is now starting to send subtle hints about
wanting a return on his investments he now wants to
see a layout from me.

Here are the scrapbooking stuff that
we bought at Joanns and Michaels.


Stickers


Templates, Glues & Embellishments



Papers



And a Lot of Papers..

I went to the hospital yesterday.
The doctor did another ultrasound
and still the same Gabe is really gone.
I'm not having the D & C, I was just given
something for the physical pain. For the
real pain that I'm feeling only time can heal
that.

Im doing so much better thank God that
I have a great husband to support me through this difficult time.
He is my rock and is making things so much easy for me
and i love him so much for that.
He cooks,cleans,takes care of things in the morning
like preparing Joshwa for school and bringing him
to the bus. He took me shopping last week for
scrapbooking stuff and wasn't upset that I
OVERSHOT the budget that he gave me.

Yesterday because I was craving for Krispy Kreme
we went there before I went to the doctor.
He also bought me a Season 2 DVD of Greys Anatomy
and watches it with me. I love him even more now..

I'm going to the Doctor tomorrow..
I know i'm going to hear those words again.
I know i'm going to feel the same way again.
It's now starting to sink in.

I really hope that she'll say something different.
But my body and bloody discharge is telling me
something that I dont want to hear, see and
understand, Gabe is gone..

Our First Thanksgiving

THANKSGIVING 2006 MENU

Appetizers

Coconut Shrimp
Shrimp Wraps

Main Course
Roasted Turkeywith Corn Bread Stuffing
Adobo

Side Dishes

Macaroni Salad
Mixed Vegetables
Mashed Potato
Cranberry Sauce
Gravy

Dessert

Pumpkin Pie
Boston Creme Pie
Cupcakes
Ice Cream

Thankfully okay naman ang kinalabasan ng aming first
thanksgiving.Nakakapagod pala magluto buti na lang once
a year lang ang thanksgiving. But Im glad our guests liked
the food if they didnt like it at least they were polite
enough not to say anything.

Thanksgiving

Today is thanksgiving and despite the things that
have happened.I still feel thankful and blessed because
my family is intact and we are together.I couldn't
be more thankful.

I have decided not to have the D & C right away.
I want to wait til the baby comes out on its own.
Pag lumabas na yung blood and then I wait for all
of it come out. Pag may naiwan sa loob then thats
the time na papayag ako magpa D&C.

Call me crazy, stupid or still in denial whatever it is..
I still believe in Miracles.

Ive been spotting for 6 days so I went to the
hospital and had some tests done and heard
something that I didn't want to. Your baby
is in the right place but the baby has no heartbeat.

Im in a dark place right now. I know God has a reason
for everything and its probably not the time but
still I feel the void, I feel the pain and the disappointment.

I feel the rug was pullled under my feet. I feel like I want
to cry but the tears wouldn't come.

To you my baby Gabe,

We wanted you..
We were looking forward to meeting you.
We will always be your parents even if
you are in heaven watching over us.

We love you Gabe..
You will always be our middle child.
We may have another one but you cannot be replaced.

We love you even before we have met you
We love you even if you are no longer with us.
We will love you forever..

Joshwa rode the school bus today.
The first school bus ride..parang
maiiyak ako kasi this is a milestone
for him.Kasi first time nya to go anywhere
without anyone familiar.He took it quite well.

My little boy is growing up

1st Baby Stuff

I know excited na kung excited call
it kuripot that's what I am. Especially
when I saw this item for sale.

Here is the description on the web.

• Convenient open-top design enables Mom to take baby in and out of swing with ease.
• Convenient side handles let you carry the swing from room to room with or without baby
• Five soothing speeds
• Compact fold
• Removable, machine-washable insert

The price on the web is $40

How much we bought it $9.99.

Philbert thought it was too early but I told him sayang pag nabili pa ng iba.

Joshwa started school last Monday and he loves it.
How do I know that he likes it? He's not crying
when i leave him in school and when I pick him up
he's smiling.

The teacher is all praises for Joshwa.
She says that he is doing a great job
and I'm so proud of him.

Tomorrow, Joshwa will be riding the bus
he will be picked up tomorrow at 7am
ang aga and he will be brought home at
around 2:20PM.

I took photos of his first day of school,

Joshwa is starting his 1st day of Special Ed school
tomorrow.Im feeling nervous about his
first day. I feel like i'm having the separation
anxiety.

He started school in October but it didn't
really work out because he had a tough time
and I stayed with him for 3 weeks.

I'm so thankful that the teachers were
so nice to me and they did their best
to rush all the meetings and assesments
so that Joshwa can finally move to the Special Ed school.

I'm thankful for the 3 weeks that I had with Joshwa.
I got to know him a lot more and I understood
how he feels and frustrating it is for him to not
be able to be understood.I felt his pain and
secretly cried with him when he feels frustrated.
There are days when he doesnt want to go to school
and i force him to because I know that he does
need to go to school.When he cries in school because
he's having a tough day.I just want to take him home.

I always tell Joshwa just a few more days
and we will be moving to school where you
do belong.Just a few more days my son
and through his tear stained eyes he looks
at me..and stops crying

I always tell myself soon Joshwa will find his voice
he will tell me what we wants,hates,feels
and loves and I will wait for that moment.
because i know that moment will soon come.

Joshwa's Halloween Costume

I really,really love this avatar. Thanks Diane!

The Stork

The stork will soon be coming.
It will pay a visit most likely
in the summer of June 2007.
As the arrival of the stork
gets closer and closer.

Updates in this blog will soon be coming..

I Passed..

After months of waiting and not expecting to pass..
Imagine my shock and surprise when my friend
emailed to congratulate me to tell me that I passed.
One thing I could say is Praise the Lord! I never
expected to pass all I did during the exam was
ask the help of St Therese. As in i kept telling her
bahala ka na sa akin. And indeed sya nga bahala sa akin
di talaga ako pinabayaan.

http://www.philstar.com/philstar/dailydose200610100201.htm#top

Dear God,

I thank you that you have promised
that you will renew our strength.
There are many days, Lord, when we grow
weary in all the demands of caring for a child with autism,
and are often grieved by the devastating affects
of this disorder in Joshwa’s life. We need your
strength. We need your hope. Help us to be able to soar
on wings like eagles and to run and not grow weary in
the daily load we carry. Lord, your Word also says that
we will find strength in your joy (Nehemiah 8:10).
Therefore, we boldly ask that you will shower us with
great and unexpected joy, not only so that we can bear
the heavy load, but so that we can help Joshwa a
to walk in all the destiny you have for him.

In Jesus’ Name,

Amen

I am so sleepy...How I wish I could just crawl to bed
and sleep for a bit. But I can't because if i do I know
that Joshwa will keep himself busy with what I don't
even want to know or test that theory. Im so tempted
to put him down for a nap so that I can take a nap but
I can't its 5PM and if he sleeps now there's no way
I would know what time he'll wake up and that will
give me one hyperactive child in the middle of the
night who only wants to play and run around the
living room.

On Scrapping

I miss paper scrapbooking di ko lang alam kung kailan ako
puede mag scrapbook. Of course the logical choice is
digital scrapbooking pero ayoko nun mas type ko pa
rin yung feel nung paper and embellishments.

I will be able to start when Joshwa goes to school
in October hayyy lapit na the chasing and the NO!
JOSHWA stop that will soon be over. I can't wait
ay di pala kasama nga pala ako sa school. I will
be his shadow teacher. Sana kayanin ng talent ko.

I'm slowly settling into a new routine
Philbert is still OC as ever as far
as housekeeping is concerned but I love
our new life. It's not easy for me to
adjust but I guess nothing is ever easy anyway.
Am I complaining no I'm not. I would not
have it any other way.

Scrap for a Cause

Im posting this here.. This is for a good
cause..

A Prayer

Heavenly Father,
Thank you that you have purposes for our lives that prevail
and that we can count on you in every circumstance.
Even though your purposes prevail, we can often miss your
timing and cause the blessings you intend for us to be delayed.

Therefore, Lord, we pray that you would give us great wisdom
on how to stay in your timing and in your will
for our lives espeically for Joshwa’s life. We thank you that
the challenges that he faces are no real obstacle for you
and that you can cause great fruitfulness to come.
Lord, we pray that you would help us find a teacher
and therapist with great wisdom that would help us to work
with him, and that you would give them creative ideas for
bringing him to his fullest potential. We thank you for your
constant provision and for the comfort of your presence.
In Jesus’ Name,

Amen

I know some of the readers are curious about
Joshwa and how he is thriving. Thankfully Joshwa
is doing so well I was so afraid that hewould have
a hard time but Joshwa is such a trooper.

He eats a lot better now rather than when
were in the Philippines andI swear that he actually
gained weight.He has tantrums yes but it has decreased
and still hyper but he is doing really well.

As for me I'm doing okay this is something that I prayed
for and I'm enjoying it. Of course the house is a mess
while Joshwa is awake and Philbert is terribly
OC about housekeeping I think he thinks he is married
to a Bree Van De Kamp while I think I can relate to
Lynette even I have 1 child and she 4( oh heck
having Joshwa hyper and all is equivalent to 2 1/2 kids)
trying to balance everything.

Hayyy I'm done with the unpacking and settling into our new life.
Hirap pala maging SAHM now I know why Oprah says that being
a SAHM is like having 2 Jobs. Pero I love it.. I now understand
my other SAHM friends and can actually feel the joys of being
one.

Thankfully Joshwa is doing so well I was so afraid that he
would have a hard time but Joshwa is such a trooper. He eats
a lot better now rather than when were in the Philippines and
I swear that he actually gained weight.

I need to start working though but I would prefer it if it's
working from the home. Joshwa needs to go back to Kumon
and taking Kumon here is a bit pricey its $80 a month
and since he needs to take the Math and Reading
it's $160++ a month.

My Family

No one is ever born into Life alone.
Everyone has shared the bond of family,
at least at birth, and for many people it is a
bond that will follow them throughout life.
For many people it is the most important bond
of all a family that is..

My family went to visit me particularly
my parents who were going home this
weekend. I'll miss them so much. Good
thing my sisters live just 45 miles away.
I know its quite far at least its still in the
same state.

Here are our vacation photos.. Just take a look
at it na lang and my sister did not get maried
it was my cousin Ate Ging-ging.

http://community.webshots.com/user/joshwa_dominik

Look Under The Following Folders

AIRPLANES/ AIRPORTS
NEW JERSEY
WILLIAMSTOWN, MASSACHUSETTS
BOSTON
FLORIDA

I'm finally here.. Parang naiiyak ako nung dumating ako dito sa US
kasi akala ko di na ako makakabalik. God has been so good to me
and my family ayan pinagbigyan kami ni Lord ng chance na
magkasama sama..Di pa ako makapag blog ng maayos
will post other photos soon .

Here is our first ever family photo in 6 years.



Here is our first complete family photo..
Complete kami dito kasama yung mga respective
families namin.

MIL Comes To Visit

AUGUST 29,2006

I invited MIL to have lunch with us
para makita nya rin yung Indulgence.
Syempre I took a photo..Para makita
nyo naman si Famous most often
than not Infamous na MIL ko. (hahahaha)

AUG 28,2006



I met up with Jem.We had lunch at Indulgence
tapos nag malling sandali.


Then at 6PM went back to Indulgence again to
have dinner with my Tita Milette, Mama,
Tita Ochie & Ate Nane.



Ate Nane & Tita Milette

Here are some photos taken last week

AUG 25 BEEHONG's PARTY


THE FOOD

THE HOST OF THE PARTY BEEHONG



THE GUESTS & THE HOST

I have 2 days to go and my days are crazy.
I'm here in Indulgence taking a breather
MIL just left and well im glad its over and done with.
Its a good thing i'm not working anymore but
my days and at times nights are crazy
just the same. Will be posting photos really soon.

My mom has agreed to take my scrapbooks
with us. I'm happy about that. As for most
of my stuff well its going to be put into good
use.

Sept 1 is an apt time for us to go and leave.
It is truly the start of the 1st Day of
our new life our new adventure.

Im here in my cousin Beehong's house in
Parañaque. Waiting for the guests and
the actual celebrant. Imagine that
being late at your own party. I was here
at 2PM and I have to go by 7 because
I'm having my own party at LSS at
around 8PM. Initially they wanted it
to be a surprise pero since I told them
I won't be home til 6PM they had no
choice but to tell me.

I was so suprised about that because I didn't
expect it. Up to now I am still in the dark about
what I should expect at that party.

Tomorrow is the LET and I'm not ready to
take the test. As my cousin and I would say
Bahala na si Batman at isama mo na rin ang
super friends sa hall of justice