Im excited about the next approach to
Joshwa's therapy. We're going to do the
Bio-Medical Approach.

I found 2 other parents and we will be doing
chelation together.

Here are some bits and pieces of my research.

What is Chelation?Chelation
(pronounced key-LAY-shun) is a term
derived from the Greek chele, meaning "claw."
A chelation agent is a chemical agent that, like a
claw, grabs and chemically bonds with metals or
other minerals and toxins. Simply put, chelation
is the process in which chemicals bind with minerals.
While chelation is a naturally occurring biological
process (hemoglobin binds with iron to provide
oxygen to tissues), synthesized chelation agents
were first developed during World War II as a
way to clear toxic metals from the body.

Chemists discovered they could create a
heterocycling ring of molecules which surround
or "sequester" mineral molecules and carry them
from the body through normal elimination.

This process of chelation actually removes
unwanted metals from the bloodstream.
In fact, chelation therapy is the only way
to treat lead poisoning. But lead is not the
only metal cleansed from the body through
chelation. A chelation agent will also bind with
most metals, mineral deposits, calcium-based
plaques and other chemical toxins.

I believe that my son has been mercury
poisoned. Syempre iisipin nyo naghahanap
lang ako ng sisisihin. According to research
a mother who has Amalgam filling can
pass on the mercury to her unborn child.
Of course you will think its just a
coincidence but in our egroup of
80 parents all of the mothers have
amalgam fillings.

Plus the fact that the child will have
vaccinations will of course bring more
mercury to the child's body. The nail
that will seal the coffin is the MMR
because it weakens the immune system.

Since the figures of kids afflicted with Autism
were escalating. There was a research that
was done here in Tagum, Davao City.
They went to a hospital near Compostella
Valley near the mining site because there
were large amounts of mercury there.
They studied the cord and meconium
of newborns.. There was one batch that
had no mercury in the cord but it was
found in the meconium. But there
was another batch that had mercury on the
cord but not on the meconium. Which
means that the child could not
excrete the mercury it was deposited
on the brain.


This findings are all scientific..
I dont mean to scare anyone neither
do I want to look for an excuse.
I just refuse to accept the fact that
this is it for Joshwa he deserves a
fighting chance. I owe it to my child
to try everything so that I could help
him. If chelation is not the answer
then I'll move on to the next one.

I thank God that he sent me angels
that will go through the journey with me.

Okay na ako

I decided to shift my focus on to other
things. As my dear friend once told me
you can't be depressed all the time.

I know I really need to learn how
to refocus my attention and my
energy. I can't waste my time whinning
and crying about things that I can't control.

I miss Philbert I really do.
But there's nothing I can't do but wait.
We made that choice together for him
to stay behind and try to see if It
will work out.

Nakakapagod na pala maging malungkot.
Nakakapagod maging takot sa hinaharap
Nakakapagod pag madaming dinadala.

So I will try to be more proactive.
Im going back to school to get some
units. I volunteered to take on
two new projects and on top of that
A friend and I decided to form a small
business. Hopefully this will work out
if it doesn't then we will learn from
our mistakes and move on.

That's what life is all about.
Take what you can and learn from it
and if you can't then leave it behind
because someone might use it and in
life we have to learn to travel light.

The Wedding Date

I decided to leave work early to watch a movie
alone and I chose to watch The Wedding Date.
Thanks to Leah for calling my attention..It
was not my intention to post something
without crediting those who wrote it.


The Wedding Date: A Movie Review
http://movies.yahoo.com/



This movie was a fairly typical romantic comedy,
though at times it packed some great plot punches.
The acting wasn't superb. Dermot Mulroney's
character and other supporting actors characters
were, at times, overdone. The cast's saving Grace
was Debra Messing, who played her character
exceedingly well. Direction could've been done by
anyone. Don't get me wrong-- It wasn't bad.
It's just okay.

The visuals were good. I'm a sucker for English
scenery, and what can I say? If you took a video
recorder out into the middle of England, its so
beautiful.

The thing about this movie is, if you like often
predictable romantic comedies, and those are the
types of movies that leave you warm and fuzzy
when you get up from your seat, then it's a
worthwhile movie. If you're a cynic who wants to
see "true love" and "true life" represented, sorry--
not happening. Overall, I enjoyed the movie
and felt it was entertaining.

Johnny Depp stand aside, Brad Pitt move away...
Dermont is here. Not only was the leading man in
this film amazing(along with a few other cast
members), but the story is one that leaves
you coming out of the theater in a happy mood
and wanting to go see it again. It combines the
perfect amount of humour, passion/love, and
"happiness." This movie is one that you
definitely should go and see!

Lately, Im just feeling so down
as in super. Miss ko na talaga asawa ko.
Maybe i'm not meant for this long
distance thing. May mga araw na
ayoko na talaga di ko na kaya.
Like this past few days i feel myself
in a total slump. I couldnt even
focus my energy on anything else.
I keep asking myself up to when
ba itong dusa na ito? I couldn't function
properly. I know nahihirapan din sya
pero di na lang nya sinasabi sa akin.
He always tells me na he's doing good.
I guess I should be happy na okay sya
pero bakit ako hindi?

I know at the back of my mind this
is for the greater good. Pero I miss the
hugs, the laughs, the fights and just
being near him. I miss my best friend.
Till I see him again I dont know if
I'll ever be the same again.

I used to hate it na may mga tao na laging sinasabi
na in the States ganito at ganyan at dito ganito
pa rin.Then nung bumalik ako dito ganito na rin
ako. Pero since concious nga ako sa ganyan.
I try na hindi gawin. Baka kasi mali na naman
ang dating sa iba eh. Ibang impression ang makuha
nila.


Speaking of impressions.. I know I wrote a letter
asking for help para kay Joshwa. Pinadalhan ko yung
Autism Society of the Philippines ng Letter.
You know what I received nothing but ridicule
behind my back. Aba eh imbes na tulungan ako eh
wala lang na chismiss pa ako. Tipong ano pa daw
ba nirereklamo ko kaya ko naman magbayad.
I have yet to talk to them but I will.. I really will..

Wala naiinis lang ako. Im just feeling so low lately
miss ko na kasi si Philbert eh. Its been too long since
I've seen him..

Orange Chicken (Panda Express)

I totally love this.. Once lang ako nakatikim
pero super sarap talaga nya..


Panda Express Orange Chicken

· 2 pounds boneless chicken pieces
· 1 egg
· 1 1/2 teaspoon salt
· White pepper
· Oil
· 1/2 cup plus 1 tbsp cornstarch
· 1/4 cup flour
· 1 tablespoon minced ginger root
· 1 teaspoon minced garlic
· 1 dash crushed hot red chilies
· 1/4 cup chopped green onions
· 1 tablespoon rice wine
· 1/4 cup water
· 1 teaspoon sesame oil

Orange Sauce for Stir Fry

2 teaspoons minced zest
1/4 cup juice from 1 large orange
1/2 teaspoon granulated sugar
2 tablespoons chicken stock
1 tablespoon light soy sauce

Cut chicken pieces in 2-inch squares and place in
large bowl. Stir in egg, salt, pepper, and
1 tablespoon oil and mix well.

Stir cornstarch and flour together.
Add chicken pieces, stirring to coat.
Heat oil for deep-frying in wok or
deep-fryer to 375 degrees F.

Add chicken pieces, a small batch at time,
and fry 3 to 4 minutes or until golden and crisp.
(Do not overcook or chicken will be tough.)
Remove chicken from oil with slotted spoon
and drain on paper towels. Set aside.

Clean wok and heat 15 seconds over high heat.
Add 1 tablespoon oil. Add ginger and garlic and
stir-fry until fragrant. Add and stir-fry crushed
chiles and green onions.

Add rice wine and stir 3 seconds.
Add Orange Sauce and bring to boil.
Add cooked chicken, stirring until well mixed.
Stir water into remaining 1 tablespoon cornstarch
until smooth. Add to chicken and heat until sauce is thick.
Stir in 1 teaspoon sesame oil.

No Cellphone.. Not Good

Initially akala ko I could live without a cellphone.
Inisip ko kasi Im getting too attached to it tipong
di na ako mabuhay ng wala sya. Kaya nung nagka
problem cell phone ko dumating sa point
na kailangan ko sya palitan nagkataon wala pa sya
sa budget ko.. I simply welcomed the idea na di
muna mag cell phone.

It was okay for the first few months.
Then I started having problems. I couldnt go out
with my friends without finding out where we would
meet. Di sila makalipat ng lugar nang wala ako.
Which is sometimes nakakahiya kasi minsan gutom
na sila kailangan pa nila talaga ako hintayin
before magdecide kung saan talaga kakain.

Some friends are telling me na they texted me
asking for directions and they thought na snub
ako kasi di ako sumasagot.

This is the final blow na. My bestfriend got married
and I wasnt there. She was texting me asking for
my address and I didnt respond akala nya nagalit
ako kasi ayoko dun sa pinakasalan nya.


Im going to get a cellphone soon. So I could be
connected again and prevent these kinds of hassles.

I also thought that cell phone is just luho pero
I realized need na pala ito.

I really love this song.. Luma na sya
pero it still has the same effect on me.
Miss ko na talaga si Philbert.


Angel of Mine
by Monica

When I first saw you, I already knew
There was something inside of you
Something I thought that I would never find
Angel of mine
I look at you, lookin' at me
Now I know why they say, the best things are free
I'm gonna love you boy, you are so fine
Angel of mine
How you changed my world you'll never know
I'm different now, you helped me grow

[chorus]

You came into my life, sent straight from above
When I lost all hope, you showed me love
I'm checkin' for you boy, you're right on time
Angel of mine
Nothing means more to me than what we share
No one in this whole world could ever compare
Last night, the way you moved is still on my mind
Angel of Mine
What you mean to me you'll never know
Deep inside, I need to show

[chorus]
You came into my life sent straight
from above (sent from above)
When I lost all hope, you showed me love
(boy you showed me love)
I'm checkin' for you, boy you're
right on time (right on time)
Angel of mine (angel of mine)
I never knew I could feel each moment
As if they were new
Every breath that I take, the love that we make
I only share it with you, you, you, you, you
When I first saw you I already knew
There was something inside of you
Something I thought that I would never find
Angel of Mine

[chorus]
You came into my life sent straight
from above (came in to my life, yeah)
When I lost all hope you showed me love
(boy you showed me love, uh huh)
I'm checkin' for you, boy you're right
on time (but boy your right on time)
Angel of mine (angel of mine, oh mine)
How you changed my world you'll never know
I'm different now you helped me grow
I look at you, looking at me
Now I know why they say, the best things are free
I'm checkin' for you, boy you're right on time
Angel of mine

Just a short note..Just wanted to let everyone
know that may work na si Philbert.
God is indeed good. I hope that this works
out na.Sana rin ma petition na sya.
Please continue to pray for us..

Some news

Ibabalik na namin si Andie sa family ng Mama nya.
I know nakakagulat kasi mahal namin sya and we
want her to be with us. So what's the problem?

Problema kasi is yung nanay nya although she
signed the waiver na. She has to be here naman
to testify in court that she gave Andie to us
out of her own free will. She's not willing to appear
in court . Aside from the fact that she's
out of the country ayaw daw nya mag appear in court.

If we declare her as abandoned naman we have to
wait 5 years para madeclare that the mom did
abandon her. Pero if magpakita nanay nya within
the 5 year waiting period.All that waiting will
amount to nothing.

I cant wait that long not at Joshwa's expense.
We need to migrate so that Joshwa will have
the best intervention that he cannot have
here. So maski masakit man sa loob ko kasi
napamahal na talaga sya sa akin. I have to
do it habang maaga pa. I dont want to wait
til its super painful for me to let her go.

Saka when she talked to my dad sabi nya
iiwan lang daw nya sa akin kukunin din daw.
Iyun pa isang kinakainis ko kasi ang gulo nya
iba iba sinasabi. So ang lagay nun gagawin
nya akong day care center. I hope that
Andie will grow up to be a smart woman.
I hope that she will be raised in the way
that I want to but I couldn't. Be loved like
the way I will always love her and hold
her in my heart.

A Call For Help

Over the past few days I've been emailing virtually
all the Autism Organizations that I could find.
Joshwa is regressing, despite all the intervention
which is not much considering that I could not
really afford the great ones (great meaning
expensive and great at the same time) Tapos
tinanggihan na kami ng BMAC. Apparently
they think that we can afford the therapy
pero kunwari lang nagpapanggap kaming
walang pera para makatipid. Which doesn't
make any sense kasi kung may money kami
di ko na titipirin yung therapy na yan.

I've emailed 50 groups all over the world.
I know isipin mo kapal naman nitong
babaeng ito virtually begging na talaga.
At this point it doesnt matter what others
think as long as matulungan ko ang anak ko.

Here's my email:
My name is Leira Pagaspas and
Im from the Philippines
I need your help I have a son who
was diagnosed with Autism.
I want to bring him there to your country
but I dont have the finances to do so right now

I was hoping to ask your organization so
that I could bring him there for programs.
If you cant help me can you refer me to
someone who can help me to bring him
there to help him.

Im willing to do anything and try anything
and beg if I have to. Just as long as I know
that my son will have a fighting chance.
Because here in the Philippines if you dont have the
money you cant do anything.
I know that with your support he will have the
best intervention that you can give him.
hope you can help my son.

Kung may kakilala kayo na puedeng makatulong
please paki email na lang ako sa leirs@mydestiny.net

God Bless!!

Andie Update

Great News!!! Di na babawiin si Andie.
Her bio mom and I had a long discussion
and we settled our issues and bottomline
is we both want what is beth for Andie
what was great was she signed the
waiver for the adoption.


Sa totoo lang talagang I lifted it all
up to God and I told him that
if she's not meant to be with us then
I humbluy accept his will and this
good news came. I am so ecstatic.

God is goood!!!!!!!!!

A Sad Day

I just wanted to tell you guys that Andie will be
going back to her biological mom. Im hurt
and sad at the same time but if its not meant
to be then its not meant to be.

This is probably for the best. i prayed for this
I asked God to give me a sign to tell me
kung para sa amin ba sya o hindi and
God gave me an answer not exactly what I
wanted to hear but this is still God's answer.

Please pray I may be hurt and mourning
because I feel like I lost a child.But
this is something that will not ruin
my spirit
will destroy me

My True Bestfriend

I was struck by what Hanagirl said that her
bestfriend is her Hana. Napaiisip ako talaga.

Oo nga pala kung may bestfriend pala na
ako matuturing si Philbert nga pala yun.
Buti na lang he is not reading my blog.
Kasi baka mag tampo sya.

I realized na wala namang nakakakilala
sa akin ng husto kung di sya lang eh.
It's even so freaky na tipong iniisip ko
palang ay alam na nya.


He knows what I look like in the morning
and before I go to sleep. He has endured
my singing voice and He has seen me
when I was sick and seen the worse
that I've ever looked. A day after
giving birth comes to mind.


Yes I may have close friends, girl friends
and really great friends who can give the
greatest of advise but at the end
of the day he really is the one that
I would turn to next to God of course.


We may have had our fights, disagreements
and moments na tipong ayoko na sya
makita pero sa kanya din naman ako
uli tumatakbo.

I love you Hon! I hope you come home
soon. I miss you so much!

Friends

My mom once asked me may bestfriend ka ba.
I said that wala. Kasi i have different sets of
friends and iba iba yung level of friendship namin.

Here's a bit of trivia about my dear friends
in no particular order.

Just thinking about it makes me smile.
I think would like to pay tribute to them somehow.

1.) Pinky- My confidant, my dear friend she
always takes time out to talk to me. To call
me and to find out how I am. Im so amazed
at how she balances and manages her time.
She's not just a friend I consider
her as my soul sister.

2.) Jem- She really made me realize na its not
easy to be SAHM ( Stay At Home Mom). Sa
mga kuento lang nya about how it is to stay
at home it gave new meaning to the word
" Ilaw ng Tahanan"

3.) Jovie- She made me realize that your
husband should be your number one
priority. Di dapat kids uunahin coz in the
end the kids will fly away in the end
kayo na lang dalawa ang maiiwan. Kung
may tanging ina sya po ang tanging
asawa

4.) Mia- She gives me good advice
specially in terms of discipline and
raising my daughter. She's so fun
to be with and a good mom at that.
She gave up a good career and stayed
home to raise her kids.

5.) Bet- A great mom. She reminds me that
it is possible to be a Work At Home Mom. She
has a lot valuable experience that I have
learned from.

5.) My Scrapbook Group- How I love
this girls kasi we really grew together
in terms of our scrapbook development.
I always look forward to our monthly
meetings. Kasi talagang masaya sya
tipong pag naka attend ka na once you look
forward to the next one.

6) N@W Family - I truly love this
group. There may have been ups
and downs but I still appreciate the
help, the support and the learning.

7.) Lali- This girl is like my sister
she's my cousin pero feeling ko mas
ate pa sya kaysa sa akin. Always
keeps me in line and tells me what to do.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

I've been taggedI got tagged by MICKEE
so here's my take

Random 10:
1. Im A Little Bit-- By MYMP
2. Wag na Wag Mong Sasabihin--
KITCHIE NADAL
3. Girl Be Mine -- FRANCIS MAGALONA
4. More & More -- GARY V
5. Colourblind-- DARIUS DANESH
6. Dreamlover-- MARIAH CAREY
7. You'll Always Be My Baby-- MARIAH CAREY
8. Runaway-- THE CORRS
9. Twin Hearts-- SARAH GERONIMO
10. Sukob Na--17:28

1. What is the total amount of music files on your computer?
Madami eh. I cant even count kung gaano na sya kadami.

2. The last CD you bought is.. I just download the
song that I like.

3. What is the last song you listened to before this message?
I cant remember na
4. Write down five songs you listen to a lot
or mean a lot to you:

a. I'm A Little Bit
b. Walking After You( theme song namin baduy ba? )
c. Boys Dont Cry.. (fave song ng asawa ko)
d. Sukob Na (favorite song ko)
e. Free (favorite song ko rin)

5. Who are you gonna pass this stick to?
Cher, Coo of Sy & Son and Kuya Pepe. I'd like
to read about their perspective on this matter.

Happy Birthday Andie!

I initially wrote this for Andie's
5th Birthday Last January 26.

Happy Birthday my sweet little girl..
We've been through a lot this last
six months.. It was rough, tough,
bitter,sweet and joyful all at the same
time.

I read somewhere that a mother once
said to her daughter. You may not have
grown from my belly. But you grew
from my heart. That's exactly how I
feel about you.

I regret not being there when you were
born. Not rocking you to sleep. Not
watching take your first step or see
you blow your 1st candle.

But that's all in the past because I know
that we can face the future together.
My promise to you is that I will try my
best to find a way to fix your papers
so that you can really be ours. We will
never migrate without you. You our
part of our family and no one can
tell us otherwise.


Every day is exciting as I continue to watch
you grow. I want you to always know
that in good and bad times.
I will love you and that no matter
what you do or how you think or
what you say you can depend on
my support, guidance friendship and
I love you every minute of everyday
I love being your mother. I will always
be your mom no matter what and nothing
can ever change that.

Happy Birthday Andie!

We love you so much..

Daddy, Mom & Joshwa

The Verdict

Philbert is not going home just yet.
(Much to my disappointment)
Philbert wants to stay til May kung wala pa
talagang mangyari saka na daw sya uuwi. I was
really praying and asking God to help him.
Just when I was about to to lose hope and I
told him to go home na lang.
Tumawag daw yung agency nya may
interview daw sya sa Thursday.
I hope this is it. If di naman maybe he
will get "the break" that he needs in due time
and in God's time.

Please pray for us because this is a very difficult
time for me. But with your prayers and your
support I know I can do it and I know that this
to shall pass.