About Joshwa

I received a letter from Joshwa's teacher and I'm so proud
of Joshwa. Here is a copy of the note.

I joined the scrappinmoms challenge yesterday.
It was weird nga eh kasi lahat ng entries may photos
sa akin lang wala. I just need to do something and push
myself to start my own healing. Wala nga lang kaming
printer so I had to use my own handwriting yun ata nakasira.
But Philbert said na that's what makes it personal.

Here is the layout:

Materials Used:

Provo Craft Paper, Colorbook Punch Out Stack,

DCWV Matt Stack & Paper,Basic Grey Paper and Sticker

Journalling is as follows:

Goodbye

To you our baby Gabe,

We wanted you..

We were looking forward to meeting you.

We will be your family forever and always.

We love you Gabe..

You will always be our middle child.

We may have another one but you can never be replaced.

We will love you forever..

I tried to be the better person by saying I can manage
this pain without the pain medications..
I can't I'm in so much pain.

Without the medications the pain was even more painful
compared to my labor with Joshwa and to think I labored for 18 hours.
You know that kind of pain that finally find you the comfortable
position then you have to get up and endure the pain
to go to the restroom and you can't seem to find that
great comfortable position when you go back and lie down.


That pain that you have to whine and say ouch
it hurts so bad but you can't because you don't
want to risk annoying the people around you.

That kind of pain that you can't sleep
because it hurts to move in bed.
I'm not really a crier because if I was
I'd be crying and crying.


Yes thats the kind of pain that I'm feeling without the drugs.
Thank goodness for pain medications.
Im still feeling some pain but not as much.
I don't think I'll be stupid enough to go off the
pain medications again.

My Latest Scrapbook Items

My beautiful, sexy, gorgeous, adorable sister
gave me some money to help me start
with my scrapbooking once again and my hubby
who said that he will buy me some scrapbook
stuff (he had no idea how much that would
eventually cost him)I am one happy
girl. On top of the scrapbook stuff Philbert
will also be paying for my magazine subscriptions
from Creating Keepsakes and Memory Makers
that will hopefully jumpstart me into scrapbooking.
Hubby is now starting to send subtle hints about
wanting a return on his investments he now wants to
see a layout from me.

Here are the scrapbooking stuff that
we bought at Joanns and Michaels.


Stickers


Templates, Glues & Embellishments



Papers



And a Lot of Papers..

I went to the hospital yesterday.
The doctor did another ultrasound
and still the same Gabe is really gone.
I'm not having the D & C, I was just given
something for the physical pain. For the
real pain that I'm feeling only time can heal
that.

Im doing so much better thank God that
I have a great husband to support me through this difficult time.
He is my rock and is making things so much easy for me
and i love him so much for that.
He cooks,cleans,takes care of things in the morning
like preparing Joshwa for school and bringing him
to the bus. He took me shopping last week for
scrapbooking stuff and wasn't upset that I
OVERSHOT the budget that he gave me.

Yesterday because I was craving for Krispy Kreme
we went there before I went to the doctor.
He also bought me a Season 2 DVD of Greys Anatomy
and watches it with me. I love him even more now..

I'm going to the Doctor tomorrow..
I know i'm going to hear those words again.
I know i'm going to feel the same way again.
It's now starting to sink in.

I really hope that she'll say something different.
But my body and bloody discharge is telling me
something that I dont want to hear, see and
understand, Gabe is gone..

Our First Thanksgiving

THANKSGIVING 2006 MENU

Appetizers

Coconut Shrimp
Shrimp Wraps

Main Course
Roasted Turkeywith Corn Bread Stuffing
Adobo

Side Dishes

Macaroni Salad
Mixed Vegetables
Mashed Potato
Cranberry Sauce
Gravy

Dessert

Pumpkin Pie
Boston Creme Pie
Cupcakes
Ice Cream

Thankfully okay naman ang kinalabasan ng aming first
thanksgiving.Nakakapagod pala magluto buti na lang once
a year lang ang thanksgiving. But Im glad our guests liked
the food if they didnt like it at least they were polite
enough not to say anything.

Thanksgiving

Today is thanksgiving and despite the things that
have happened.I still feel thankful and blessed because
my family is intact and we are together.I couldn't
be more thankful.

I have decided not to have the D & C right away.
I want to wait til the baby comes out on its own.
Pag lumabas na yung blood and then I wait for all
of it come out. Pag may naiwan sa loob then thats
the time na papayag ako magpa D&C.

Call me crazy, stupid or still in denial whatever it is..
I still believe in Miracles.

Ive been spotting for 6 days so I went to the
hospital and had some tests done and heard
something that I didn't want to. Your baby
is in the right place but the baby has no heartbeat.

Im in a dark place right now. I know God has a reason
for everything and its probably not the time but
still I feel the void, I feel the pain and the disappointment.

I feel the rug was pullled under my feet. I feel like I want
to cry but the tears wouldn't come.

To you my baby Gabe,

We wanted you..
We were looking forward to meeting you.
We will always be your parents even if
you are in heaven watching over us.

We love you Gabe..
You will always be our middle child.
We may have another one but you cannot be replaced.

We love you even before we have met you
We love you even if you are no longer with us.
We will love you forever..

Joshwa rode the school bus today.
The first school bus ride..parang
maiiyak ako kasi this is a milestone
for him.Kasi first time nya to go anywhere
without anyone familiar.He took it quite well.

My little boy is growing up

1st Baby Stuff

I know excited na kung excited call
it kuripot that's what I am. Especially
when I saw this item for sale.

Here is the description on the web.

• Convenient open-top design enables Mom to take baby in and out of swing with ease.
• Convenient side handles let you carry the swing from room to room with or without baby
• Five soothing speeds
• Compact fold
• Removable, machine-washable insert

The price on the web is $40

How much we bought it $9.99.

Philbert thought it was too early but I told him sayang pag nabili pa ng iba.

Joshwa started school last Monday and he loves it.
How do I know that he likes it? He's not crying
when i leave him in school and when I pick him up
he's smiling.

The teacher is all praises for Joshwa.
She says that he is doing a great job
and I'm so proud of him.

Tomorrow, Joshwa will be riding the bus
he will be picked up tomorrow at 7am
ang aga and he will be brought home at
around 2:20PM.

I took photos of his first day of school,

Joshwa is starting his 1st day of Special Ed school
tomorrow.Im feeling nervous about his
first day. I feel like i'm having the separation
anxiety.

He started school in October but it didn't
really work out because he had a tough time
and I stayed with him for 3 weeks.

I'm so thankful that the teachers were
so nice to me and they did their best
to rush all the meetings and assesments
so that Joshwa can finally move to the Special Ed school.

I'm thankful for the 3 weeks that I had with Joshwa.
I got to know him a lot more and I understood
how he feels and frustrating it is for him to not
be able to be understood.I felt his pain and
secretly cried with him when he feels frustrated.
There are days when he doesnt want to go to school
and i force him to because I know that he does
need to go to school.When he cries in school because
he's having a tough day.I just want to take him home.

I always tell Joshwa just a few more days
and we will be moving to school where you
do belong.Just a few more days my son
and through his tear stained eyes he looks
at me..and stops crying

I always tell myself soon Joshwa will find his voice
he will tell me what we wants,hates,feels
and loves and I will wait for that moment.
because i know that moment will soon come.

Joshwa's Halloween Costume

I really,really love this avatar. Thanks Diane!

The Stork

The stork will soon be coming.
It will pay a visit most likely
in the summer of June 2007.
As the arrival of the stork
gets closer and closer.

Updates in this blog will soon be coming..

I Passed..

After months of waiting and not expecting to pass..
Imagine my shock and surprise when my friend
emailed to congratulate me to tell me that I passed.
One thing I could say is Praise the Lord! I never
expected to pass all I did during the exam was
ask the help of St Therese. As in i kept telling her
bahala ka na sa akin. And indeed sya nga bahala sa akin
di talaga ako pinabayaan.

http://www.philstar.com/philstar/dailydose200610100201.htm#top

Dear God,

I thank you that you have promised
that you will renew our strength.
There are many days, Lord, when we grow
weary in all the demands of caring for a child with autism,
and are often grieved by the devastating affects
of this disorder in Joshwa’s life. We need your
strength. We need your hope. Help us to be able to soar
on wings like eagles and to run and not grow weary in
the daily load we carry. Lord, your Word also says that
we will find strength in your joy (Nehemiah 8:10).
Therefore, we boldly ask that you will shower us with
great and unexpected joy, not only so that we can bear
the heavy load, but so that we can help Joshwa a
to walk in all the destiny you have for him.

In Jesus’ Name,

Amen

I am so sleepy...How I wish I could just crawl to bed
and sleep for a bit. But I can't because if i do I know
that Joshwa will keep himself busy with what I don't
even want to know or test that theory. Im so tempted
to put him down for a nap so that I can take a nap but
I can't its 5PM and if he sleeps now there's no way
I would know what time he'll wake up and that will
give me one hyperactive child in the middle of the
night who only wants to play and run around the
living room.

On Scrapping

I miss paper scrapbooking di ko lang alam kung kailan ako
puede mag scrapbook. Of course the logical choice is
digital scrapbooking pero ayoko nun mas type ko pa
rin yung feel nung paper and embellishments.

I will be able to start when Joshwa goes to school
in October hayyy lapit na the chasing and the NO!
JOSHWA stop that will soon be over. I can't wait
ay di pala kasama nga pala ako sa school. I will
be his shadow teacher. Sana kayanin ng talent ko.

I'm slowly settling into a new routine
Philbert is still OC as ever as far
as housekeeping is concerned but I love
our new life. It's not easy for me to
adjust but I guess nothing is ever easy anyway.
Am I complaining no I'm not. I would not
have it any other way.

Scrap for a Cause

Im posting this here.. This is for a good
cause..

A Prayer

Heavenly Father,
Thank you that you have purposes for our lives that prevail
and that we can count on you in every circumstance.
Even though your purposes prevail, we can often miss your
timing and cause the blessings you intend for us to be delayed.

Therefore, Lord, we pray that you would give us great wisdom
on how to stay in your timing and in your will
for our lives espeically for Joshwa’s life. We thank you that
the challenges that he faces are no real obstacle for you
and that you can cause great fruitfulness to come.
Lord, we pray that you would help us find a teacher
and therapist with great wisdom that would help us to work
with him, and that you would give them creative ideas for
bringing him to his fullest potential. We thank you for your
constant provision and for the comfort of your presence.
In Jesus’ Name,

Amen

I know some of the readers are curious about
Joshwa and how he is thriving. Thankfully Joshwa
is doing so well I was so afraid that hewould have
a hard time but Joshwa is such a trooper.

He eats a lot better now rather than when
were in the Philippines andI swear that he actually
gained weight.He has tantrums yes but it has decreased
and still hyper but he is doing really well.

As for me I'm doing okay this is something that I prayed
for and I'm enjoying it. Of course the house is a mess
while Joshwa is awake and Philbert is terribly
OC about housekeeping I think he thinks he is married
to a Bree Van De Kamp while I think I can relate to
Lynette even I have 1 child and she 4( oh heck
having Joshwa hyper and all is equivalent to 2 1/2 kids)
trying to balance everything.

Hayyy I'm done with the unpacking and settling into our new life.
Hirap pala maging SAHM now I know why Oprah says that being
a SAHM is like having 2 Jobs. Pero I love it.. I now understand
my other SAHM friends and can actually feel the joys of being
one.

Thankfully Joshwa is doing so well I was so afraid that he
would have a hard time but Joshwa is such a trooper. He eats
a lot better now rather than when were in the Philippines and
I swear that he actually gained weight.

I need to start working though but I would prefer it if it's
working from the home. Joshwa needs to go back to Kumon
and taking Kumon here is a bit pricey its $80 a month
and since he needs to take the Math and Reading
it's $160++ a month.

My Family

No one is ever born into Life alone.
Everyone has shared the bond of family,
at least at birth, and for many people it is a
bond that will follow them throughout life.
For many people it is the most important bond
of all a family that is..

My family went to visit me particularly
my parents who were going home this
weekend. I'll miss them so much. Good
thing my sisters live just 45 miles away.
I know its quite far at least its still in the
same state.

Here are our vacation photos.. Just take a look
at it na lang and my sister did not get maried
it was my cousin Ate Ging-ging.

http://community.webshots.com/user/joshwa_dominik

Look Under The Following Folders

AIRPLANES/ AIRPORTS
NEW JERSEY
WILLIAMSTOWN, MASSACHUSETTS
BOSTON
FLORIDA

I'm finally here.. Parang naiiyak ako nung dumating ako dito sa US
kasi akala ko di na ako makakabalik. God has been so good to me
and my family ayan pinagbigyan kami ni Lord ng chance na
magkasama sama..Di pa ako makapag blog ng maayos
will post other photos soon .

Here is our first ever family photo in 6 years.



Here is our first complete family photo..
Complete kami dito kasama yung mga respective
families namin.

MIL Comes To Visit

AUGUST 29,2006

I invited MIL to have lunch with us
para makita nya rin yung Indulgence.
Syempre I took a photo..Para makita
nyo naman si Famous most often
than not Infamous na MIL ko. (hahahaha)

AUG 28,2006



I met up with Jem.We had lunch at Indulgence
tapos nag malling sandali.


Then at 6PM went back to Indulgence again to
have dinner with my Tita Milette, Mama,
Tita Ochie & Ate Nane.



Ate Nane & Tita Milette

Here are some photos taken last week

AUG 25 BEEHONG's PARTY


THE FOOD

THE HOST OF THE PARTY BEEHONG



THE GUESTS & THE HOST

I have 2 days to go and my days are crazy.
I'm here in Indulgence taking a breather
MIL just left and well im glad its over and done with.
Its a good thing i'm not working anymore but
my days and at times nights are crazy
just the same. Will be posting photos really soon.

My mom has agreed to take my scrapbooks
with us. I'm happy about that. As for most
of my stuff well its going to be put into good
use.

Sept 1 is an apt time for us to go and leave.
It is truly the start of the 1st Day of
our new life our new adventure.

Im here in my cousin Beehong's house in
Parañaque. Waiting for the guests and
the actual celebrant. Imagine that
being late at your own party. I was here
at 2PM and I have to go by 7 because
I'm having my own party at LSS at
around 8PM. Initially they wanted it
to be a surprise pero since I told them
I won't be home til 6PM they had no
choice but to tell me.

I was so suprised about that because I didn't
expect it. Up to now I am still in the dark about
what I should expect at that party.

Tomorrow is the LET and I'm not ready to
take the test. As my cousin and I would say
Bahala na si Batman at isama mo na rin ang
super friends sa hall of justice

Another Night Out

I can't believe its only til I week til we
leave. My cousin Bogick came back to the
Philippines after living the US for 15 years. We had
dinner with him at Indulgence ( Where else?)
My evening schedule has slowly started to
get crazy. Here are the photos of our night out:



Mai and Muppy!




Beehong



BOGICK


GROUP SHOT A ( Mai-Mai took the Shot)




GROUP SHOT B ( Yours truly took the Shot)

A Parents Prayer

Dear Lord,

In those times when I feel
overwhelmed and weary, I ask that
you would grant me enabling grace to
believe that you will do what you have
promised. Help me to trust you even
when I am not feeling like it. Help me to
know your word is true even when I may
not see it in my circumstances. You are my
strength when I am weak.
You are my guiding light when I am lost.
I pray that you would encourage me today
and help me to see the wonderful things
you have already done for me. Forgive
me for not recognizing when your hand
has been at work in my life. Help me to come to a
deeper understanding and a stronger resolution
that you are always true to your word!

In Jesus’ Name,

Amen

Found It

My IPOD has been missing for weeks.
Initially I thought I must have misplaced it
somewhere but the more that I tried to find
it the more that I couldn't find it. So instead
of stressing myself about it I just prayed about
it. I prayed that it would be returned to me
If it wasn't I prayed that the one who found
it would enjoy the music that was in it. Then
last night I was looking through my stuff
I found it ! I found it!

One thing I could say over and over and over
again thank you so much Lord! Praise God!

Busy Long Weekend

I've been extremely busy as in super mega
ever last weekend.. Here's a rundown of what I did


FRIDAY



Met up with my friends Mish and Ellen.
We had dinner and we were talking and
laughing out loud.

SATURDAY

It's scrapbook day.. I met up with some of
my friends for a day of scrapbook and fun.





DINNER AT ATE NANE'S
After the scrapbook day I still had time to rush
and go to Ate Nane's birthday party.



SUNDAY

We went to Pepper's 1st Birthday Party
Here's a photo of my Little Prince



SUNDAY DINNER
Had dinner with Liz and Marisa at Shangri-La Hotel




MONDAY

Joshwa and I had lunch with his
Ninang O, Tito Tim and Mamita.
I took this photo while waiting for our ride
to the restaurant.

Asar

Wala lang naiinis lang ako kasi apparently
nakita pala ako ng tito ko pumasok sa Starbucks.
Sinabihan ba naman nya Mama ko kaya Mama
ko ayun kay aga-aga mega sermon ba naman
sa akin kesyo sayang lang ang pera tigilan na daw
pag punta ko sa Starbucks.I mean pati ba naman yun
kailangan pa sabihin. Starbucks lang naman yun..

Im ranting again kay aga-aga. What a day!
I'm leaving in 2 weeks Im probably gonna miss
those sermon's from my mom. Ask me again in
6 months if I'm gonna miss it probably but
then maybe not.

At isa pa itong MIL ko hayyyy dont get me started
nag text may pinapagawa wrong timing kasi busy
ako. Aba maya maya nag text ba naman sa akin
kung tapos na daw ba pinapagawa sa akin.
Breathe in Breathe out

Still No Luggage

I still have no luggage. Unlike Joshwa who has been living out
of the suitcase for the past 3 weeks.I still haven't bought a
decent luggage for myself.Im not really looking
for something expensive. I just want something that is
functional.With the kind of budget that I have I really
do hope I find what I'm looking for.

The Blessing

Last night we had a blessing for the restaurant.
It was great because friends and family
were there. Here are some of the photos of that blessed
event.

THE FOOD



FRIENDS

THE CREW

The Wedding

I went to a wedding last Saturday.
with my cousin Lali and My Best Buddy
Marisa.




We had fun but then I saw this and we had a
good laugh about it



And I was like what was that.. She forgot to remove
the tag from her dress.. I know i'm mean but
it was so funny...

Andie

I miss her so much.. She's always in my thoughts
and in my heart no matter what anyone says
she'll always be my daughter

There is not a time when I couldn't think of her
without feeling the pain and the longing. She may
not be here but her mark stayed with me within
my soul, within my heart. Perhaps I lost her
because another person deserves the love that
she could give and the light that she will shine
will have a marvelous effect on others.

To my dearest Andie, I consider myself lucky
because I've known you and you once called me
MOMMY.

3 Weeks to Go

I only have 3 weeks to go and i'm not packed or anything.
Basta lang all I know is a few days before that I'll be going
crazy as to what to bring, what to leave behind and how
to pack so that what I do need to bring I can fit into
one suitcase.

A few days before I leave which is August 27 will be the
Licensure Exam for Teachers (LET) Truth to be told
I am nervous about that exam. I attended the review
but I did the review a bit early. I should have done
the review in June so that It will still be fresh by
the time August rolled in. But now i had to be an
eager beaver and did the review during the summer.
What I'm really nervous about is not doing good on the
exam. I can handle other parts but the Math part
is another thing.

It really didn't help me that during my review
the reviewers were trying to scare us into
thinking that the LET is tough and it's really
going to be hard to pass this exam.

Im not sure if you guys know that I was
assesed to have Dyscalculia according to the dictionary
Impairment of the ability to solve mathematical
problems, usually resulting from brain dysfunction.
During the review I found out there's alot of math.
Patay!!! As in I felt the beads of sweat coming down
my forehead.

Another concern is the expectation that
comes with taking the test. I remember one of my tita's
jokingly tell me uyy pag di ka pa pumasa nyan dami daming
teachers na bobo pumapasa dyan sa exam dyan mas
lalo na dapat ikaw kasi you went to a good school.
I smiled at her I didn't know if I should be happy and take
that as a compliment or be insulted.

I guess I should just do my best and hope for
the best.

23 Days To Go: Philbert

If there's really one person who really knows me the
most that's my husband. Im filled with eager
anticipation because I'll be seeing him again soon.

As long as I know that he is with me I won't feel
lost and everything will be just fine.

24 Days To Go: Joshwa

Kung may isang tao sa mundong ito na sasabihing
ko mahal na mahalko na as in unconditional si Joshwa
talaga ito. As in nung nalaman kong buntis ako sa
kanya talagang ang saya saya ko. Kaya ganun na lang
ang panlulumo ko nung nalaman kong may
special need sya.

Pero sige kinaya ko.Kasi kailangan nya ako.
Nung una inaamin ko parang naging detached
ako kayJoshwa at sa lahat ng pangyayari sa
buhayko kasi yun lang ang paraan ko na para
makayanan ko lahat.

Napapansin ko talaga nitong nakaraang araw
nagiging mahigpit ako pagdating sa pag disiplina
kay Joshwa. Ayoko talaga na naiinis ako sa kanya.
Na sinasabi ko lagi Joshwa NO!Joshwa STOP THAT!
pero iniisip ko na lang na I can't be his friend.

I have to be his mom.Kamakailan lang na pag usapan
sa isang egroup na sinalihan ko kung ano ba talagang
mga takot ko para kay Joshwa.

Isa sa mga malaking kinakakatakutan ko pag namatay
ako nang maaga baka hindi pa handa si Philbert
na alagaan si Joshwa.

Di ko alam kung kakaiba lang ako o
weird talaga pero naisip sana ma outlive
ko si Joshwa. Ibig ko sabihin matanda na
sya at matanda na rin ako sabihin
na nating pumanaw sya ng mga 60 so mga
85 na ako nun.

Gusto ko lang mailagay ko sya sa ayos hanggang
sa huli. Naalala ko sinabi ko dati kay Philbert
pag namatay ako ayoko sya mag asawa kasi
baka makakukuha sya ng salbahe tapos
sasaktan si Joshwa. Sabi ko sa kanya hihilahin
ko paa nyo pag ginawa nya yun sa anak ko.

Nagbilin din ako sa mama ko na wag nya
pabayaan si Joshwa pag may nangyari sa akin.
I know morbid sa it may seem death is inevitable.
The only thing that we have to do is to prepare
for it. Pag alam ko nang okay na si Joshwa
without me then I know that I can go anytime.

26 & 25 Days To Go: MALLING

Here are some photos of the weekend that
was Aug 5.. Taken at Mall of Asia








These photos below were taken at Glorietta

27 Days to Go.. My Mom the Restauranteur

My mom opened her new venture last Monday
I know I don't say this out loud
I'm proud of her and this new
venture she's embarking on. The first
time I saw her in action I was so proud
of her its as if she was meant to do this.

The food is also great. Im not just saying this
because she owns the place. The food is really,
really good.

I don't know if you're ever reading my blog
Ma.. Just the same let me say this Im proud
of you and Keep up the Good Work.

28 Days To Go.. Closure

According to Wikipedia.org In psychology, closure
may refer to the state of experiencing an emotional
conclusion to a difficult life event, such as the
breakdown of a close interpersonal relationship
or the death of loved one. People may behave
in a certain way or perform certain rituals to
help "bring closure" following such events.
In many other cases, "closure" may only come about
through the passage of time
(as in "time heals all wounds").

So thats what I've been doing this past
couple of days talking to old friends
forgiving them if needed but I do in such
a way that I don't have to actually say
I forgive you. For me just the fact that
I can talk to them and forget what happened
in the past was enough.

Unfortunately, much as i want to ask for
forgiveness from those that I have hurt
in the past I can't anymore. I already did
ask from at least 10 of them and they scoffed
at me and threw it right back at me called me
ugly names behind my back. I can't do that
anymore,I can't go through that again.
So call it being a coward,I call it self preservation.

29 Days To Go: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEEHONG

I always remember her as the kid who came to
live with us and I treated her as to how I would treat
my sisters.And believe it or not I do feel like she
is my sister. Protective at times and most of the
time her partner in crime. We went through a lot
of mischiefs together. I dare not elaborate on this blog
coz it will be incriminating.

I always look forward to spending time with her.
We are like two peas in a pod. We derive a lot
of pleasure from the simple things in life: shopping,
eating, talking and laughing about things. Though I know
a lot of people don’t get her but I do.

I may be older than her but she always had a way of
putting things into perspective for me.
If there was something really disturbing me,
I would call her talk to her about it and
she would blunt her opinions and it
would make a lot of sense.


People talk about these values that a decent person
should have but she embraces them. She could easily
could disarm any tenuous situation and have people
laughing with her many one-liners. She always tries
to be calm but of course her temperament gets in
the way but I still believe that she is a person who
has honor, loyalty and integrity.

To my dear cousin Beehong.. Happy Birthday..
Thank you for being in my life. I would always treasure
you and hope that you have a great year ahead of you.

30 Days to Go

The person who will replace me as far as
work is concerned came today. She's okay
I've met her before. She might be the person
that my parents have been looking for
softspoken and yet good with filling something
that i'm not good at.

I'm going to have one last scrap session with
my friends. I'm going to miss the scrapbook
girls. But i'm looking forward to seeing my
husband. I haven't seen him in 20 months so
I know that when I do see him again
fireworks are bound to happen. (whatever it
is that y'all are thinking yup thats it).

Imagine this:

Scenario 1

Me: Joshwa its time for your medicine
(AKA Benadryl)
Joshwa: Mom!!!! Ahhhhh!!! Noo!!
(after 10 minutes he is knocked out cold)
Let the games begin!!

Scenario 2

Me: Who wants $100
whoever raises their hand will say why what's
the catch. Babysit Joshwa.. and i know no one
will take me up on that. So Im thinking the
scenario 1 will be a better option.

Scenario 3
Wait till Joshwa's asleep God knows how long
will wait. We waited for 20 months whats
a few hours. Scenario 1 will be a great option
but if you know us will probably just go with
this option.

31 Days To Go

I only have 31 Days to go. Am I prepared? No not really.
Am I preparing? Again. No not really.
Our clothes are all ready and sorted I moved
all my scrapbook layouts in the binder albums and that's it.

Joshwa has been banned from eating at Jollibee and
Mc Donalds. He has been on that Jollibee and Mc
Donalds phase for awhile and it's best to train
him to avoid eating there.

I haven't really talked to my mom about what to do
with our stuff like appliances. As if its mine.. the only
decent appliances that I could call my own is my
washing machine and my stereo. The other appliances
came from my parents. Since they gave it to us.
I'll just let them decide as to what to do with it.

I'm not having a despedida. I already had one with
my scrapbook friends and thats it. I couldn't have
asked for a better send off.

I can't wait to leave i truly mean this but I'm also
leaving a part of myself behind. But I'm going into
the biggest adventure of my life. Starting Over.

Selling

Im selling all of my scrapbook stuff.
Akala ko nung una di sya magiging madali
pero surprisingly di naman sya ganun
kahirap. Nung una iniisip ko pa lang na
ibebenta ko sya parang nalulungkot ako.
Pero naisip ko di ako dapat malungkot kasi
madali na para sa akin magsimula uli.

Di ko na pagdadaanan yung mga pagkakamali
ko dati na bibili tapos di ko pala kailangan.
At least ngayon mag simula man ako
muli mas alam ko na dapat ko gawin.

Lurking in the background
Waiting in the shadow
Trying not to be noticed
But Your looks just gave you away.
Very mysterious, yet very charming
Very good looking yet quiet and unassuming
The question on everyone's mind that night

WHO ARE YOU?