My Eulogy

Saka na ako mag kuento about the burial. Kasi emotionally di ko

pa kaya. Post ko na lang ang eulogy ko. I never got to read it

because di ko kaya. I know I have to be strong but during that

time I just couldn't do it. Di ko talaga kaya. I know kailangan

ko na simulan mag move on pero siguro it would take time.

Ate Beth was more than just my sister in law to me. I loved her more than a sister. I'd like to think that I didn't have an older sister because she was the best older sister any one could ever have. She is my sister, my best friend, my cheerleader and a warrior all rolled into one.

When we first met we hit of right away. We had so many things in common. She was a great listener and I was the biggest talker anyone would ever meet which made us a perfect combination.

When she left for Japan I cried my eyes out and I really felt so bad because I knew just how much I would miss her. I keep telling myself she's not dead she's just in another country. She had a handsome little boy who really looks so much like Philbert. She always called him her gorgeous son. She gave up her teaching career to stay at home to raise him and really mold him into the best he could be.

Though we didn't really keep in touch while she was in Japan we more than made up for the lost time when I saw her again when moved to the United States. It was as if we never lost touch. I would call her everyday and visit their home every other weekend.

Whenever I had trouble dealing with any turbulence in my life especially when it comes to my married life. I could always count on her to be there for me to listen to me. I will miss the way she could always put things into perspective for me. If there was something really disturbing me, she would say, maybe he meant it in a different way or maybe you misunderstood what he wanted to say.

She was as calm as the deepest ocean and kindness was her second nature. She worshipped the Lord with her heart and soul ,honesty, honor, loyalty and integrity and served with fervent joy.

People talk about these values. But she lived them. She embraced them. Though she never got any awards and accolades in her lifetime. She got the best award that anyone could ever hope for. People loved she was highly respected her and they were really happy to have had the pleasure of having met and known someone like her.

She will forever be part of my heart and soul, I know she was prepared for this . I wasn't and they are times when I want to question God and ask him why her? Why all of them all at the same time. But I can't because I know that God has a purpose. I may not understand it but I have to learn how to accept what I can't change.

I thank you Ate Beth that I became part of your life's journey.I will always be proud of you and will forever be honored to be not not just your sister in law but your sister.

Let me leave you with poem that really touched my heart.

When tomorow starts without me
and i am not here to see ...
And if the sun should rise and find your eyes filled with tears for me,
I wish so much you wouldn't cry the way you did today,

While thinking of the many things we didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me,
as much as i love you ...
And each time you think of me
I know you'll miss me, too. But when tomorrow starts without me,
please try to understand ...
That Jesus came and called my name
and took me by my hand
And said my place was ready
in heaven far above ...
And that i'd have to leave behind all those i dearly love.

So when tomorrow starts without me,
don't think we're far apart
for everytime you think of me,
I'm right here in your heart.

Adee at 8 months

Adrianne is growing up so fast

Joshwa As A Boy Scout

Kanina hinatid ko si Joshwa sa school. Tinanong ako nang
teacher ni Joshwa kung gusti ko daw sya ipalista sa Boy Scout.
Initially ayoko sana kasi iniisip ko baka di pa sya ready.
Pero after I thought about it I realized it will be good for him
to bond with other kids. Kaya sige pinalista ko na rin sya.
Na excite tuloy ako ibili sya nang uniform. I know that
he'll be the cutest boy scout

Happy Anniversary

Today is our 8th wedding anniversary. Parang kailan lang
totoo nga pala talagang ang bilis lang ng panahon.8 years
and 2 kids later. We're still together and that is an achievement.
Kasi may mga times during our first few years na parang
ayaw ko na. God has been so great and sent so many
people and events that made me hold on.

We won't be going out tonight like we used to.We decided
to order food instead. We'll be having Pancit Puti,
Puto, Barbecu, & Lumpiang Shanghai. Di naman
sya super dami ano considering na apat lang naman kaming
kakain.In awhile I will be going out to buy
cake and ice cream. No celebration is complete without
cake and ice cream.

Here's to so many years to us my dear
Philbert. Here's a verse from a song that holds true for us.

Hawak kamay
Di kita iiwan sa paglakbay
Dito sa mundong walang katiyakan
Hawak kamay
Di kita bibitawan sa paglalakbay
Sa mundo ng kawalan

San Agustin Family Killed By Coward

Their story was featured on the news

How Am I Doing?

I'm okay. Trying my best to move on. Masakit talaga pero what else can I do. I need to move on. The remains will be arriving (hopefully) this Saturday.My Brother In Law will be arriving hopefully this Friday. Sana lang everything goes well na para mailibing na sila. They deserve it.

Scrapping Frenzy

Lately I have been in a scrapping frenzy. Pero simple
scrapbooking lang. I have mini albums na tinatago ko
sana pang regalo. Slip ons sya na around 20 leaves which
translates to around 40 pages.I have around 3 albums was
able to do 2 Albums already. Wala pa syang pics I just decided
to make it picture ready so to speak. Nagulat si Philbert dami ko
palang sticker stash. Maski ako rin nagulat di ko alam na ganun
na pala sya kadami. Decided to use up all my sticker stash
before even thinking of getting new supplies. Naglalaway
na talaga ako sa kits ng Studio Azul.It took a lot of restraint
na wag mag email para mag order. Kaya nga ginagamit
ko muna stash ko kasi baka pag meron na namang bago
mag react na si Philbert.

Mamma Mia

I needed to get out of the house maski sandali lang.
My cousin called me last Monday telling me that
she had special screening tickets for Mamma Mia.
I excitedly made plans with her. I was really looking
forward to watching it with her. Then my cousin
called me today and told me na di sya makakasama.
I decided to go out and watch it maski wala akong
kasama. Before I went to the cinema I decided to
check out a Local Scrapbook Store which just
opened in Greenbelt. Items were great muntik
na akong di makaalis. Had to drag myself out
of that store. Went to the cinema watched the
movie and I loved it. I really did.. I was laughing
and laughing and the songs were really great.
It wasn't over sung. The stars had their moments
to shine. Ewan ko ba bakit sa kanila ganda ng
pagkagawa ng musical bakit pag sa pinoy na movie
I find it so baduy. Pag kumakanta or sumasayaw sila.
Maganda sya talaga I really did like it a lot.
I enjoyed it even more siguro kasi alam ko yung
ABBA songs. Di pa rin naman ako ganun katanda
to appreciate ABBA songs. Classic din naman eh.

End of the World

Philbert can't stop talking about the event that
will apparently happen on Dec 21,2012.
Apparently end of the world na.
It all started with a feature on History Channel
aba ayun sunod sunod na may pinapanood pa
about the Sumerians at kung ano ano pa.
But honestly di ako naniniwala. Sabi ko sa kanya
all it takes for fear and panic to start is for a person like
him to believe something like this. Tapos ikuento
sa iba and then kakalat na. Ewan ko ba cynical
na ata ako pero di ako naniniwala eh.Si God lang naman
nakakaalam kung kailan matatapos ang lahat.
Wala nang iba.

Speaking of Death pinag uusapan namin ng
MIL ko kung paano bang death ang gusto namin.
Habang natutulog ka, Biglaan or yung dahil sa sakit.
Si MIL gusto nya biglaan or maski tulog sya.
Sabi ko maski dahil sa sakit okay lang sa akin
kasi I want to say goodbye to people that I love.
Gusto ko magbilin at ma-i ready ang sarili ko.
Unfair kasi kung biglaan maraming things na
di mo nasabi kasi di mo rin naman alam eh.
Gusto ko may chance na mag paalam at
makapag sorry sa mga nasaktan at makasabi
kung gaano ko sila kamahal.

What Not To Say When Someone Dies

Found this on the net some are applicable to us.
Some are not.. Very interesting indeed


Don’t . . .
• Don’t say, “I know what you’re going through.” We really don’t know what someone else is thinking or feeling. Every griever’s experience is unique.
• Don’t say anything that will make the mourner feel guilty for the death of their loved one.
• Don’t monopolize the griever’s time at the funeral home or over stay your welcome. Realize that the griever needs to share time with others and also needs time alone.
• Don’t say things like, “You’ll forget …” or “Time will heal your hurt and you’ll get over it.” The mourner doesn’t want to forget their loved one. And you never get over the death of a loved one … you learn to live with it.
• Don’t say anything about the appearance of the deceased at the funeral home to their loved ones.
• Don’t ask: “What happened?” Let the griever share their story when they are ready.
• Don’t violate the griever’s trust in you by sharing personal information with others.
• Don’t say, “Call me if you need anything.” People who need … generally won’t ask. This can also be perceived as though you are just trying to be nice — an offer that is meant to be declined.
• Don’t use hackneyed consolation by saying, “God works in mysterious ways.” “They’re in a better place now.” “You can always have another child.” The griever would do anything to have the deceased with them and these types of sayings often hurt more than they help.
• Don’t force the mourner into a role. “You’re so strong.” “You’ll need to pull yourself together.”
• Don’t try to hurry the griever through their grief. Grief takes time and patience and cannot be done on a fixed schedule. Often the grief process takes years.
• Don’t tell the mourner what they should do. This reinforces a sense of incompetence and each person handles things differently.
• Don’t make philosophical comments, “He wouldn’t want to be a vegetable.” “It’s a good thing for her that she didn’t suffer.”

Adee's Latest Pics

On a Lighter Note

The driver of the getaway vehicle has been arrested.
The CHP (California Highway Patrol) said that
he is just as guilty as the driver of that caused
this tragic accident.Even greater news is that
he was recommended to be arrested and
with no BAIL and it happened. He cannot
post Bail.

I know di na nya maibabalik buhay nila pero
at least we know that Justice will be served.

We are off to my inlaws today.The sky is
gloomy and its raining. It mirrors what I'm feeling
today.

Thank You

Sa lahat ng mga nag email, nag YM, nag message sa blog ko at nagdasal para sa amin maraming salamat po sa pakikiramay nyo. At the moment we're trying to hold on and cling to one another for strength at this very difficult time. The remains will be arriving in 2 weeks kaya we're preparing for the funeral here. Thanks so much to my sisters sa e-group ko SE, PE and N@W your support really means so much to me dahil di lang tayo basta nag email we're one big happy family. Singit ko lang I had a dream na nakikita ko pictures nila and then i keep hearing the word scrapbook.. Di ko kaya i scrapbook pics nila masyadong masakit. I will do it eventually but not now..

REGION: Collision kills three near Lake Skinner

Officers hunt for hit-and-run driver

By CATHY REDFERN - Staff Writer | Monday, June 30, 2008 7:35 PM PDT ∞

WINCHESTER ---- Investigators on Monday were searching for the driver of a pickup that collided with a car on Warren Road on Sunday, killing a mother, father and son from Winchester, the California Highway Patrol reported.

The head-on collision occurred about 8:10 p.m. Sunday near the entrance to the Lake Skinner Recreation Area when the 2007 GMC pickup allegedly crossed over double-yellow lines into the path of the northbound 1991 Chevrolet Malibu driven by Andres San Agustin, CHP officials said.

The crash resulted in the deaths of San Agustin, a 48-year-old Navy medical corpsman stationed at Camp Pendleton; his wife, Maribeth Pagaspas San Agustin, 36, and the couple's 4-year-old son, Angelo, authorities said.

The adults died at the scene, about 100 yards south of the entrance to the park, and the child died about an hour later at Rancho Springs Medical Center, according to Riverside County coroner's officials.

A resident who lives off Warren Road near the crash site said the truck had landed on its roof and that what was left of the family's car was about 2-feet high when he saw it towed away about 1:30 a.m. Monday.

"It was an absolute crumpled mess," David MacKichan said. "... It was pretty disturbing."

MacKichan said he was barbecuing on his front porch when he heard the crash around dusk and saw smoke rising from the truck. He said he called 911 and later spoke to officers and other observers. Officers searched for the pickup's driver from the air and on ground, with at least one canine unit, and searched a neighbor's barn, he said.

MacKichan said he was on the phone with dispatchers and could see several people who had been driving on the road run up to the car and then just stop, apparently when they saw how destroyed it looked. An officer told him there was blood inside the truck and that both air bags had deployed, MacKichan said.

Monday afternoon, the CHP reported they believed the driver had fled with the assistance of another driver, while declining to elaborate.

Officer Ron Thatcher declined to release any details of the investigation, or possible factors leading to the fatal crash. However, he did say evidence was found inside the truck, and that officers were tracking down several leads they hoped would help them find the GMC driver and whomever helped that person flee.

"This is just a very tragic crash; something like this should never have happened," Thatcher said. "And it's compounded now because it's a hit-and-run."

The Marine Corps released a statement in response to the crash. Andres San Agustin was a hospital corpsman, first class, who served with the 1st Medical Logistics Company, 1st Supply Battalion, 1st Marine Logistics Group.

"The Marines and Sailors of Camp Pendleton and the 1st MLG are deeply saddened by this tragic accident and our thoughts are with the Sailor's family and friends," 1st Lt. Kenneth Kunze stated.

Kunze said late Monday he was unable to provide additional information.

The San Agustin family lived in a new neighborhood off Winchester and Pourroy roads. A woman who answered the phone at the home Monday said the family did not wish to make a statement at least until they had complete information from law enforcement.

The man who lives near the crash site, MacKichan, and another man who lives in that upscale rural neighborhood said speeding and other bad driving causes frequent problems at the eastern end of the Wine Country. Racing can be a problem, MacKichan added.

Both MacKichan and his neighbor, Ed Bennett, had stories of other nasty crashes near the spot in the past few years.

"This entire road, from Butterfield Stage all the way out, is just bad all the way around," Bennett said. "It's a little safer here. At least there is a shoulder, but they need turning lanes or slower speeds or something."

The CHP's Thatcher focused more on driving behavior.

"It is a two-lane road with curves in it," he said. "But if you drive in a way that is appropriate for the road, it's not unsafe. Collisions occur because someone was doing something they weren't supposed to do, 99 percent of the time."

Those with information on the crash are asked to call the Temecula CHP office from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. weekdays at (951) 506-2000.

Staff writers John Hunneman and Teri Figueroa contributed to this story. Contact staff writer Cathy Redfern at (951) 676-4315, Ext. 2621, or e-mail credfern@californian.com.

WHEN TOMORROW STARTS WITHOUT ME

Thanks Melisse for this beautiful poem..
It really did make me cry,..


When tomorow starts without me
and i am not here to see ...
And if the sun should rise and find your eyes filled with tears for me,

I wish so much you wouldn't cry
the way you did today,
While thinking of the many things
we didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me,
as much as i love you ...
And each time you think of me
I know you'll miss me, too.

But when tomorrow starts without me,
please try to understand ...
That Jesus came and called my name
and took me by my hand

And said my place was ready
in heaven far above ...
And that i'd have to leave behind
all those i dearly love.

So when tomorrow starts without me,
don't think we're far apart
for everytime you think of me,
I'm right here in your heart.

Please Pray For Us

My SIL Ate Beth, her husband Kuya JR and Son Angelo.
Just passed away at 2am CA Time. This is a very difficult
time for us. Please pray for the repose of their soul and
Please pray for us na naiwan nila na kayanin namin na
wala sila

What Really Happened

This is what I found on the Net regarding Ate Beth's accident

Three killed in hit-and-run crash near Lake Skinner
7:25 AM Mon, Jun 30, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0)
Posted by: PE News

Three Winchester residents, including a 4-year-old boy, were killed Sunday night in a hit-and-run crash near Lake Skinner, authorities said.

Initial reports from the California Highway Patrol indicated that the three fatalities were all in one vehicle and that the driver of the other vehicle fled.

In addition to the child, a 48-year-old man and a 36-year-old woman were killed, coroner's news releases said. Their names were being withheld pending notification of family.

Details about the crash, which occurred about 8 p.m. near the entrance to Lake Skinner on Warren Road, were not immediately available this morning.

A Blogger Event

Went to my First Major Blogger's event last Friday
sponsored by Coke Zero. Had so much fun even my
companions who were non bloggers had a great time.
Food was overflowing and Drinks were also overflowing.

Me with Tita Milette , Ate Nane and Tita Noemi

Was also glad to finally meet Tita Dine and saw Tita Noemi again.
Was able to meet one of Philbert's office mates.

Have another blogger's event on Friday sana
di ako ma disappoint.I really hope not
but whatever happens we're just there
to enjoy the company of friends, the games
and sige na nga the swags. O sige na the lastly yung
food hahaha!!

Coming Home

I went to Assumption last Tuesday to fix something.
A lot has changed and yet for some reason I still have that
feeling that the school is warm and inviting
and welcoming me. I could really feel the Assumption
Spirit telling me welcome home.Assumption is not
just a school. It will always be a special part of me.
It is there that I transformed myself.
Part of who I am I owe it to Assumption.
Found this photos of the new Assumption chapel
on the web:

Waiting...

I hate waiting.. sa totoo lang ayoko talaga pero I
endure it kasi wala akong choice.
I've been other people's blogs lately and they
express irritation for banks and their staff.
Ako naman I hate waiting in hospitals
or clinics. Minsan kasi walang system in place
na papuntahin ka sa room na ito when in fact
sa ibang room ka naman talaga dapat pumunta.
Tapos most of the clinic walang P.A. system
so di mo naman maririnig na tinatawag ka
na pala. Sasabihin nyo eh di dapat wag
ka aalis. Kaso di naman puede andun ka lang
syempre something always needs to be
done like go to to the washroom or
go to the nurse station.

Another major pet peeve ay pag late ang
doctor fine I get it may operation or may ibang clinic.
I could understand that pero mas naiirita ako
na di man lang sila nagsasabi dun sa clinic
na male late sila. Para naman maabisuhan
yung mga tao na naghihintay. Is their time
more precious than ours? Saka para namang
libre yung pag papa check up namin.
Di naman yun health center ano.

The tests came out na nga pala.. Very depressing sya
para sa akin. Kaya nga ayoko muna i post
parang may sense of denial pa ata ako. Hoping that
If don't talk about it. It will go away and I'll
wake up tomorrow na okay na ako. But I know
that it's far from reality.

Had a great day today despite the rains.
Despite the fact that it was bed weather today
we didn't stay in bed. Went to mass at around
5:30 and ate at Hai Shin Lou.
Which in my book this is the best Chinese
Restaurant in town. The service is great
the food is great. Lahat ng food nila masarap
wala talagang di masarap. My favorite is the swahe,
the duck dish(forgot the name), lobster and
the fish lip soup.. see masarap sya na I can't even decide
kung alin ang pinaka favorite dish ko. saka the food is not
full of MSG and definitely not oily. It's pricey but it's the best..
Ay grabe sa sobrang kabusugan feeling ko kailangan na ako
buhatin pag uwi. Kawawa naman yung bubuhat.

Pag uwi ko nakita ko nakahiga na si Joshwa
which is VERY UNUSUAL. Pag hawak ko may sinat sya
nahawa nang colds from Adrianne. Pinunasan sya then
natulog uli. Buti na lang walang pasok bukas
para makapahinga si Joshwa. Hirap talaga
pag maysakit mga bata particularly si Joshwa.
Kasi pag maysakit sya di ko malaman saan ang
masakit di kasi sya nakakasabi kung saan ang
masakit.

Scrapbook Day

Had a great day.. finally was able to attend a scrapbook gathering.
Na miss ko talaga sya kasi talagang we've evolved na.
Di lang kami basta scrapbook buddies talagang friends
kami talaga. We're there for each other through thick and
thin and we support each other. Kaya nga I look forward to
our monthly gatherings.

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Random Photos of Adrianne

Random Photos of Adee at 7 months.. Blurred yung iba kasi lahat ito kuha mula sa cell phone

Andie's Latest Photo

I saw Andie's latest photo sa friendster and I had to save a

copy of my own. Malaki na sya 8 na sya. Not a day goes

by when I don't think of her.

Some might think na just because we have a daughter of

our own means na nakalimutan ko na sya.Definitely

not true!!!

COMMON CHARARCTERISTICS OF ASD CHILDREN

Emotions

Rage/anger/hurt may all be expressed in unexpected ways
Perfectionism
Easily overstimulated by sound, crowds, lights, smells
Inside feeling not matching outside behavior

Motor Skills

Difficulty with some skills requiring motor skill development
Gross motor skills - riding bike, swimming, crawling
Fine motor skills - handwriting, tying shoes
May have some advanced, age-appropriate skills while other age-appropriate skills are delayed, i.e., tying shoes before climbing stairs
Unusual walking gait or clumsiness
Difficulty with motor skills that require visual perception accuracy, i.e., walking through a parking lot, revolving door or turnstiles, participating in sports, guiding a shopping cart

Language

Pronoun reversal
Excellent vocabulary; may sound like "The Little Professor"
Conversational language may appear stilted
Speaks with stock phrases or phrases borrowed from other situations or people
Makes honest, but often inappropriate observations
Has difficulties adjusting volume and speed in speech
Problems with prosody; irregular accenting and inflection used in conversation
Literal language: difficulty understanding figures of speech, similes, parodies, allegories, etc.
Speech may have started very early in development or may have started then stopped for a period of time
Repeats last word or phrases several times (echolalia)
Difficulty understanding some language, i.e., directional terms easily confused

Perseveration - Continued or repetitive activity or actions:

1. the uncontrollable repetition of a word, phrase, or gesture.

2. The spontaneous recurrence of a thought, image, phrase, or tune in the mind
Obsession - the fact or state of being obsessed with an idea, desire, emotion, etc.
Compulsions - an irresistible, repeated, irrational impulse to perform some act
Fascination with rotation
Many and varied collections
Redirection very difficult (changing focus or thinking from one activity or idea to another)
One emotional incident can determine the mood for the rest of the day; can't let emotions pass quickly

Social Cues

Difficulty reading facial expression and emotion in another person
Difficulty understanding body language
Difficulty understanding the rules of conversation
Difficulty understanding group interactions
Too much or too little eye contact
Difficulty understanding others' humor
Problems recognizing faces out of the usual setting or known context (face-blindness or prosopagnosia)
Stand-offish or overly friendly
May adopt others' behaviors, speech or dress habits to aid in more fluid communication and social adaptation

Senses

Very sensitive or undersensitive to light, pain, taste, touch, sound, smell
May have injuries of which they are not aware
May experience physical pain from oversensitivity to light, sound, touch
Very picky eater, both in selections of foods and in the way they are presented on the plate
May crave specific touch, taste, smell, sight, sound, lights
Over-sensitive to change in surroundings, people, places
Over stimulation may result from too many verbal directions or instructions

Comfort Skills

Desires comfort items to produce calming effect - blankets, stuffed animals
May need external (outside) stimulation for calming - brushing, soothing sound, rotating object
Comforted by minor motor stimulations - rocking, humming, tapping fingers, toes, sucking, rubbing fingertips in circles or on seams of clothing
May need separate space or area to decompress
Unusual attachment to object
Self-stimulation i.e., rocking, tapping, humming, etc.,to increase concentration and attention or to calm down and relax

Neurological Function

Erratic neurological function
Attention difficulties
Irregular sleep patterns
Understanding and working with time concepts difficult
Sensory processing disorders (how the brain processes information it receives from the sensory organs)
Visual processing disorders
Auditory processing disorders
Sensory integration disorders

New Situations, Patterns, People

Rule-oriented
Prefers known patterns with little unexpected surprises
Prefers familiar places, clothing, people
Difficulty with transitions when changing activities
Difficulty making and maintaining friendships (especially peer friendships); more successful with adults than other children or young people

Today is our 9th Bf-Gf anniversary. Ako para sa akin di ko talaga sya
nakakalimutan kasi this is all about the two of us. Si Philbert
naman mas naalala nya yung wedding anniversary. I was happy
and perky was in a really great mood until I heard something that
burst my bubble so to speak.

My MIL has been talking to my HELP again tawagin na lang
natin syang si Pokwang at chini-chissmiss ako. Kesyo kaya daw
naging special child si Joshwa kasi di naman daw ako ang gusto
ng anak nya. My Gosh parang sineduce ko ang anak nya.
Nag init ulo ko kasi dahil di nya matanggap na may Autism
si Joshwa.Ako ang sinisisi nya kasi parang inakit ko ang anak nya
ano ba!!!!! I can now start to feel the hypertension medicine
kicking in na. Gusto sya kausapin but because I promised
myself that whatever she does and says I will not confront her
anymore papalamapasin ko na lang.

Breathe in and Breathe Out!!!!

The Mean Neighbor

Naiinis ako sa sarili ko kasi feeling ko ang sungit ko talaga.
Medyo irritable ako lately not just with Philbert
pero sa lahat as in parang ang dali maubos ng patience ko.
Di ko alam kung dahil sa medication ko kasi medyo elevated
ang blood pressure ko so I had to take something para
bumababa sya.

Kanina habang naglalakad kami pauwi na ako may mga bata
nagtatakbuhan natamaan ako tapos nagbato pa ng bola
na made from Paper Mache' so medyo matigas
grabe!!! I snapped nasigawan ko yung bata as in wala ka bang
sasabihin. Tinignan ako sabi ko ni hindi ka man lang ba
mag sasabi ng sorry di ka ba tinuruan ng Mommy mo
mag sorry. Pag kita ko andun ang nanay nya sa may kabilang
corner nanlilisik na yung mata at umuusok na ang ilong sa akin.
Sinabihan ko na rin yung nanay sabi ko turuan nyo ang anak
nyo nakasakit sya di man lang marunong sorry with that
pumasok na ako. I would really understand kung with
special needs yung mga bata at nakasakit sila. Pero
malalaki na itong mga ito mga around 8 years old.

I felt so guilty pero something in me snapped as in
lumabas na lang sya bigla. Pagpasok ko
sumakit talaga batok ko. The kids will now know me
as the mean neighbor who lives in Unit ______.

FATHER’s DAY

1. How long were you together before you got hitched? Exactly 1 year. We met May 1999 got together June 1999 and got married July 2000

2. What made you fall in love with hubby from the start?
I wasn't nung start but eventually he won me over.
He's mabait, walang kabisyo bisyo, and has a very great sense of humor.

3. What's the best gift you ever received from him?
Baduy man at cheesy pero yung pagmamahal nya.
He's a very complicated person pero I know that he loves me.

4. What is hubby's best traits? Worst traits?
Best traits: Yun nga walang bisyo di umiinom, di naninigarilyo, di mabarkada.Pagkagaling sa office umuuwi agad. Di lumalabas pag weekends.
Worst traits: Sumpong nya.. grabe pag sinumpong sya I call it his
monthly period. Pag tinopak sya as in tinotopak talaga sya. Hirap
hulihin ang ugali kasi minsan akala mo nag joke yun pala seryoso na sya.

5. What traits/mannerism/character did your child/children inherent
from hubby?
With Joshwa pareho sila ng ugali eh. As in yung weird traits like di
kumakain ng ininit na pagkain. Pag pinagsasabihan mo mahilig
mag walk out.

6. Let's say you and your child/children are talking about daddy, what
do you want to tell your kids about their dad that they don't know?
Daddy is very talented he learned to play the guitar on his own.

7. What is one thing Daddy cannot live without (materially)?
His computer

8. If hubby can read this, what's your message for him?
Honey,
happy fathers day!!! you are a good husband and
you are the best dad. The kids are lucky to have you
I love you.

9. What "pet name" did your father call you when you were little?
Feel free to elaborate on the name's history (If you didn't have one,
what do you wish you were called by him back then)
Leirs.. di ko alam kung bakit basta yun talaga tawag nya sa akin
ever since.

10. What qualities does your husband have in common with your father?
(good & bad)
-Opposites sila talaga.. Philbert is very quiet. Papa ko naman makuento.

11. What was your first impression of your father-in-law the first time
you met him or were introduced to him?
-Very nice. Made me feel at ease.

12.What 3 words can describe your hubby as a father?
-Great, patient and very sweet.

13. What do you plan to give or do for hubby for Father's Day?
Wala kasi we're really not big on the gift giving.

Tests Again..

Went to the office to submit my requirements.. The HR contact
person said that I need to go to the clinic for another
consultation..

Since I'm in the area I decided to go today which
is actually not a good time becauseYaya is on a day off.
Good thing that our helper was able to watch the kids.
I thought I was done with the tests but the cardio doctor
said he needed more tests. So I have
to go back to the office again on Monday get a referral form
so that I can go back to the clinic and finish the tests already.

But this is actually an opportunity to find out
If I'm really healthy and fit to work and if not then I
can find out what's really wrong and get better.

Kainis

I'm so happy! Was able to meet the teacher and she
wanted to see him before he starts. It was a school that
I already dismissed but I decided to take a second look.
It wasn't what I wanted but the teacher was the sort
of teacher that I wanted for Joshwa. So I took a chance
and decided to ask if she still had a slot for Joshwa there's
still a 10am to 12nn slot.

I was already rushing Joshwa had a 1 PM appointment
with the school. Joshwa was having a tantrum because
he wanted to use the computer and didn't want to eat.
For him to focus I turned off the Television and when
he couldn't watch the TV went straight for the laptop.
But I was way ahead of him when he saw the laptop
I have already turned it off and so he wanted to
use Philbert's computer. Philbert was seated on the bench.
Joshwa pulled his shirt from the back causing him to
fall backwards. So there he was sprawled on the floor and
he was blaming me. Kasi daw dapat pinayagan na lang
mag computer and mag watch ng TV. Para daw di na
mag iiyak.

Nag init talaga ang ulo ko kasi dapat pagdating kay
Joshwa united kami pagdating sa discipline.
Tapos naawa sya pag umiiyak pag nag tantrums naman
si Joshwa tapos sya inaaway. Ako naman sinisisi bakit
ganun daw si Joshwa.Saka we shouldn't be blaming
and having an argument on how to deal with Joshwa
infront of Joshwa. Matalino si Joshwa and I'm sure that
in some way he can understand na kung ano nangyayari.

Scared

I have to do another test tomorrow. Just to be sure
I'm fit to work. I'm nervous because last time I
had my urinalysis they say that my creatinine
is so high It affected my kidney function
that I had to be confined for 5 days.
They told me to go see a doctor after
I give birth. It's been 7 months and I just found
the time to do it now. I'm scared of what I might find out.

Please include me in your prayers

What a Day!!

Nalungkot ako nung kausapin ko yung teacher
sinabihan ako na I don't think he's ready just yet.
I just feel really sad that Joshwa's Kumon teacher
said to just focus on the home program first.
Nalungkot talaga ako but I understood.
There's really a time and place for everything
for me this might be the right time pero baka di
pa panahon para kay Joshwa.

A Surprise

Philbert is really not big on surprises. He is not showy
and doesn't shower me with gifts. Even if I want to
or wished it.He's really not like that so imagine
my surprise when he installed an internet phone
on the laptop.So I can call my sister and sister in law.

Oh by the way might be going back to work
really soon.Won't disclose the company for now.
But will do so eventually..

ABA

Today was Joshwa's assessment for Applied Behavioral Analysis.

Supposed to be papasok na sya ng school but what can I say di

pa sya tinanggap kasi he's not as manageable. So we just need

to focus more on the behavior. The case manager also gave us

great points on what we need to do and what we need to

address. Maraming kami natutunan on what to do and what

not to do pagdating kay Joshwa.

 

Kaya lang nung magbabayad na I asked kung how much ang babayaran

ko. Akala ko 450 lang tapos yun pala may charge ang case manager

na 575. Nagulat ako pero what can I do. Saka had to give an advance

para dun sa mga gamit na gagamitin sa ABA. Para na rin akong

nagpa enroll.

Our First Born

1. WAS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY PLANNED? No

2. WERE YOU MARRIED AT THE TIME? At that time that we found di pa kami kasal. But when I gave birth we were already married.

3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS? I was nervous and scared at the same time

4. WAS ABORTION AN OPTION FOR YOU? No

5. HOW OLD WERE YOU? I was 23

6. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT? I was late I took the test and that was it

7. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST? Philbert

8. DID YOU WANT TO FIND OUT THE SEX? Yes

9. DUE DATE? Jan 20

10. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS? No

11. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE? I was weird I would buy Mango and Santol

but I wouldn't eat them. I'd smell them and smell them then after a few hours ayoko na sya kainin.

12. WHO/WHAT IRRITATED YOU THE MOST? Philbert

13. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CHILD'S SEX? Male

14. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING?

Oh yes. I had a name in mind na nga eh . If naging girl sya her name would have been Sofia Alessandra.

Nung nalaman namin na boy saka pa lang ako nag isip ng name.

15. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT YOUR PREGNANCY?

Around 30 Lbs

16. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER? Sort of

17. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW? I knew about it. It was my

birthday celebration But instead of people giving gifts to me. They gave gifts for the baby

18. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR PREGNANCY?

I had an easy pregnancy. No problems or complications during the pregnancy.

19. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH? Our Lady of Lourdes Hospital

20. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR? 18 hours .

21. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL? My sister

22. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH? Just the doctors and nurses;

23. WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION? C- Section

24. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN?

Yes. I needed a lot of Pain Meds.Kasi talagang Mababa ang

threshold ko pagdating sa pain

25. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH? 6lbs 6 oz

26. WHEN WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN? January 16

27. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER? Joshwa (God is Gracious) Dominik (after St. Dominic Savio)

Job Hunting Again??

Yes I'm job hunting again.. bahala na kung matanggap.
Hirap to be job hunting again pero ganun talaga di ba?
Pag nagka work ako will be posting about my
work woes once again

Forgiveness?????

What constitute forgiveness? Is it enough for you to say I forgive you and

then what else. How do you then let go of the past and not carry it anymore.

I would want to know. Kung alam nyo paano gagawin yun o nagawa nyo na

then tell me how you did it.

I am so sick of people telling me to let go of what happened

and to forgive them. Even if alam nila kung gaano ka grabe ginawa.

Eto ang linya nila : "Forgive be a better person even if di nagsisi or di humingi

nang forgiveness. Mabigat dalhin yan " Of course I would give a cryptic reply

madali lang say o sabihin wala silang ginawa sa yo. The Next question

would be what happened? Ikaw naman tanga ka rin gusto mo manghingi

Ng opinion kuento ka rin. Tapos in the end they would still say the same thing

Forgiveness and Forget it. Hay sana masabi nilang gagawin nila yung

kung nangyari sa kanila kung ano man nangyari.

How I wish na di ko na dadalhin na kakalimutan ko na. Kasi I'm really

trying my best wag na isipin yung mga nangyari. Not for them but for me

pero when I see the damage that they have done eto na naman this anger

stirs inside me. Okay na ako pero nung nakita ko na naman sila.I felt it

again and when I confided to a tita about what I feel she dismissed what

I was feeling and immediately told me to forget the anger and forgive.

It's like I'm not entitled to my own feelings and my own anger.

Di rin kasi nakakatulong na maraming nakikialam.

What is even more irritating is that people seem to think that

since they are perfect and that because of that I should bow

down prostrate myself at their feet.

At dahil ganun sila ako na dapat ang magbigay , magpatawad

and be a bigger person. Some have gone as far to compare us

to them. Oh Lord nasusuka ako pag people start doing that.

Kasi di naman porke generous ka, mayaman ka, mabait ka or sociable

ibig sabihin mabait ka eh. You can hide your motives behind

generosity. Everything can be hidden beneath a façade.

What else is there to do confront them? Useless kasi they have

this weird habit of twisting your words and making you feel like

you're like a liar.

Sa mga nangyari kami na ang na-agrabyado kami pa

ang masama. Hate is a strong Word I know. But I don't want to

hate them but what I'm feeling is even worse Its indifference.

Sa dami nang damage na ginawa nila parang manhid

na ako. I'm starting to feel like I don't care and I mean

I really don't care anymore.

I'm being vague I know. I'm just so upset right now.

Cheap Thrills

I know that everyone has that right? I never ever think that someone or something is beneath me. I'm willing to try anything once except extreme sports and anything that involves heights.Here are some revelations about me:

I used to be a BIG Ariel Rivera fan. I mean really big that I would drag my friend Ginger to go see his movie with me. Parang napanood ko ata movie with matching iyak pa sa Ikaw kasi namatay sya dun. Nainis ako kay Regine kasi naghiwalay sila ni Gelli because she fooled around with Ariel. In hindsight na realize ko teka it always takes two to tango. I'm still a fan hey old habits die hard pero I just watch his telenovela's na lang.

I also do admit that I watch telenovela's sometimes sa channel 2 sometimes sa channel 7.

I watch tagalog movies. Some I criticize because of impossible story lines but I watch it anyway. Lately I'm trying to stop finding faults with the movie and just want to enjoy the movie.I now go inside in a movie house just wanting to be entertained.

I like going to comedy clubs. I know baduy pero Masaya sya talaga. Basta di ako ang lalaitin okay lang. haha!!!

The last time we went there was last Tuesday and The main performer for that night was Aegis. Nung una parang okay lang baduy pero okay na rin. Ang galing nila grabe ay sobra talaga. Parang walang ka effort effort kumanta. Ay ang galing talaga I can't say it enough ang galing ng Aegis. This is in no way a paid advertising I was really blown away kasi I never expected them to be that good. Kaya nung narinig ko sila hinanap ko

Ang songs nila na meron sa magic sing ang resulta masakit pa rin lalamunan ko up to now.

 

 

It's Over

My stint at the call center is over.
I resigned for reasons that I don't
want to elaborate on.

Time to move on to find another
job.Here we go and wish me luck.

The Heat Is On

Tonight is my last night of extension.I really hope
makuha ko na ang score na kailangan ko. Tensed ako
kasi mapupunta lang pala sa wala pinaghirapan ko
if ever. Fight to the end na lang.If they say I didn't
make it then I'll be okay because I did my best.
I didn't quit saka madami namang work dyan na
puede applyan. Will blog about it either way.

Tapos Na Ang Training

Tapos na ang training namin di ko nakuha yung goal ko for this week
they gave me until Wednesday to reach that goal if not then its goodbye
na. Masaya ako kung makuha ko pero okay na rin kung hindi I'm really
starting to think if this is the right career for me.

Dami na rin akong callers na medyo sira ang tuktok pero
di ako affected sa kanila. If I can't find whatever it is
that they want me to find then what can I do.

Kakainis rin na marami kailangan i-sacrifice like
di naman ako makapunta sa scrapfest kasi galing
ako sa shift tapos wala akong tulog baka naman
mag collapse ako dun. Pero ganun talaga pag
magulang ka na everything as to take the a back
seat

OJT Day 2

Hayyy Grabe!!! Day 2 na just when I thought na
okay na and I'm getting the hang of it.Ms Splenda
hands me a sheet of paper detailing some of the
mistakes and areas of improvement. Aminado ako
kasi kasalanan ko talaga sya. Kaya lang naiinis lang ako
kasi why couldn't they catch me at a good time.
I need to make 10 perfect calls na sunod sunod when
they do monitor me to be able to graduate from OJT week .
If not ma extend ako ng 1 week then pag di pa rin.
Maghahanap na naman ako ng work. Hayy sana makalusot
if not okay lang din kasi it just means its not meant for me.

OJT

OJT week na namin medyo tensed na kaming lahat.
Kakapagod 7 hours of talking pag uwi ko super
pagod na ako. May ibang callers na mabait,
may naiirita at higit sa lahat may bastos din.

Kaya please to all my friends in the US
na gumagamit ng 411 please be kind to the
operator. Baka ako yung nakakasagot sa
inyo. (hahahaha!!!)

Work Stories

Finally nag work na rin ako.. Nung una parang di ako
sure na mag work ako uli kaya lang tinatamad naman
ako kung sa bahay lang. I needed to do something
productive so I applied in a call center and got accepted.
Training was really great people are great most of our trainers
are nice.Except for one let's just call Ms.Splenda (artificial sweetener).
Nakakainis kasi talagang nanghihiya sya ng mga
trainees.I know malalaki na kami at di na dapat
isipin ang feelings namin pero grabe namamahiya sya.
It's like she derives her satisfaction from being so mean.
Yung isang trainer namin na guy lets just call him
Mr. Bear mabait pero minsan nawawalan sya ng
patience pero di sya namamahiya kung napapagsabihan
ka man nya you will understand kung bakit. Unlike
her talagang dahil ka nya feel sorry ka na lang. Pero
ito pa nakakainis she has her favorites. Pag may violations
ka na written dapat bigyan ka pero sa iba lalo na
pag gusto ka nya di ka nya bibigyan.Pag di ka gusto
makaka derive pa sya ng satisfaction sa pagbibigay ng
violations. She's like a freaking MMDA everyday may
biktima ng violations. Maski di mo sinasadya sorry
ka di kita feel therefore may violation ka.
Saka during one of major activities where as you will
make a call and a trainer is listening. Sinisigawan nya
yung trainee nya. A co-trainee even said he didn't
have an Irate caller but what he had was an Irate
trainer.

Kahapon dalawa naging biktima nya.
Two of my friends were kicked out
of the program because of her.
Binagsak na nya nilait lait pa nya
I don't really mind kung constructive eh
kaso di naman. Eto pa this week sya pa
rin ang trainer ko. Help me!!!

Adrianne at 5 Months

Update

This is just a short update to let you guys that we're okay.. Kids are adjusting well..Oo nga pala may work na ako. Saka na ang updates uli kasi wala pa kaming internet..Thanks for keeping us in your thoughts and in your prayers.

In Manila at last

Andito na kami. Pagkatapos nang pagkahaba habang byahe
dumating na rin kami.Parang bigla kong naiisip na ay ikukuento
ko sa kaibigan ko ito pag uwi ko. Tapos bigla kong maiisip
permanente na nga pala itong pag uwi namin.

This is the start of something new...

Saying Goodbye

Kaninang umaga hinatid ko si Joshwa sa school bus nya.
Parang nalungkot ako bigla kasi mabait talaga sa akin
yung bus driver and yung bus monitor nya. Tapos
talagang love na love nila si Adrianne. When I said my
goodbye parang naiiyak ako. Ganun pala na feel
pag aalis ka na sa isang lugar nang biglaan. Tipong
we were so busy packing, getting ready,
making the arrangements tapos when you finally
sit down it really does hit you aalis na talaga.
Totoo pala talaga na you'll really leave a piece of
your heart behind. We have great memories here..
Became closer with my sister and sister in law.
Joshwa improved so much and of course we
received the best remembrance ever si Adrianne.

Siguro my next post would be from Manila na..

Malapit Na..

Nakaempake na lahat.. Yung last batch ng mga ipapa ship na gamit
kukunin na bukas.Yung mga gamit na iiwanan naibilin na sa mga taong
karapat dapat pagbilinan.. Excited akong umuwi and yet medyo
nalungkot ako kasi nagkaron na kami ng mga kaibigan. Pero sa lahat lahat
ng mga ma miss ko apat na tao ang mamiss ko talaga nang sobra sobra.

Si Grishan sya ang kapatid na sumunod sa akin close kami dati
pero naging mas close talaga kami kasi kami talaga nagdadamayan.
Susunduin nya kami para makapag weekend kami sa kanila.
Natulog sya dito tapos sya ang gumising nang madaling araw
nung umiiyak si Adrianne para lang makatulog ako. Pag may
mali akong ginagawa sya unang nagsasabi sa akin.Kaya nga nung
may nagsabi sa akin na may sinabi daw sya tungkol sa akin
di ako naniniwala.I could go on and on.. Pero i know magkikita pa
rin naman kami. Saka may Vonage naman sa Pilipinas kaya okay lang.
Pero alam ko bukas pag hinatid nya ako talagang maiiyak ako.

Si Brox ay pamangkin ko love na love ko talaga sya kasi sya ang
one and only pamangkin ko. Mabait na bata sya, matalino and
very sweet. Hayyy I will miss him saka talagang love na love sya
ni Joshwa.

Hazel-- Na meet ko sya kasi through another friend and we hit
it off right away. Ninang sya ni Adrianne.. I will miss the fact
that she's just a phone call away.

Ate Beth--- She's not just my sister in law.. She's my sister
na talaga. I love her so much.. She's the Ate that I've always
wanted. Mas close ako sa kanya kasya kay Philbert.
I will also miss our weekend visits.

I'm looking forward to starting a new chapter of our lives in
the Philippines. Things are just going to get better and
I know it..

A Disaster

Which is which?

 

I don't really know what's worse. Yung taong manggagamit who will

do anything and everything to get what they want. Doesn't really

care about whose expense.

 

Or someone na pumapayag mag pagamit (not physically ha) na alam

nyang masama na ang nangyayari pero stands by the sidelines while

the manggagamit wreaks havoc on everyone and leaves a trail of disaster on its wake.

Either because its a decision not do anything or just because that person

has no backbone.

 

Either way it's a disaster.. I don't know what I'll choose if I have to pick which

side I want to be in.

Now It Can Be Told..

We are going home!!!! Philbert will be transferred to their
Makati office.I'm looking forward to it.. Initially to be
honest I wasn't really keen on him taking it. Kasi I really
thought that we would be growing old here and the kids
will grow up here. This was really not an easy decision
to uproot the kids again. We really thought about this
asked for counsell and prayed and prayed about it.

But something happened that changed
my mind and sealed the deal for us na sort of answered
prayer na rin. Joshwa wandered off again and I almost went
crazy looking for him. Dami pa namang child molesters na nagkalat
talagang maloloka na ako kakahanap.
Luckily someone found him but I told myself that's it.
can't go through this again.What if next time mawala na uli
si Joshwa tapos di ko na sya makita.
Then I told myself thy will be done Lord.
If you think mapapabuti
kami sa Manila then so be it.

At least sa Manila I could afford to hire someone
to help me look after Joshwa.
Then everything fell into place my mom was
able to find a home for us in such a short notice.
2 friends are going to help me find a job
if I should decide that I'm ready to work.

I'm looking forward to seeing my scrapbook friends,
visiting the newest malls and new places.

Wish us luck as we go through a new adventure
in Manila.

Still Packing

Di pa rin tapos pag iimpake ng gamit..Si Philbert na lang
pinapagawa ko kasi mas magaling sya pag iimpake at
pag aayos ng mga gamit. Hopefully sa pupuntahan
namin medyo magtatagal na kami dun. Within this week
namin malalaman kung kailan ba talaga ang alis namin
di pa ako nagsabi sa school. Kasi baka magsabi ako
tapos di pa pala kami aalis agad mawawalan pa nang
school placement ni Joshwa.

I will let you guys know soon kung saan kami pupunta.
This week i-blog ko na rin yun. Wait ko lang yung actual
ticket para sure na sure na talaga.

Packing

We're currently trying to pack frantically
because Philbert has a new assignment.
If the plans push through we have to leave in 2 or 3 weeks
at the most. Will discuss the details if and when we get there.

I never realized packing could be so stressful.
Grabe!! tempers are flaring up well mostly his temper.
Talagang naniniwala na talaga ako sa power of the spoken
word. I was just chatting with a friend last December
she was telling me that she hates the packing and unpacking
and moving around. I told her I want that kind of adventure.
Tapos eto na nangyari na... Hayyyyy!!!! ayoko na pala..
We have to uproot Joshwa na naman. Pero this is for the
family eh.This is the career break that Philbert needs.

Please pray for us na lang that everything
falls into place.

DENSE???

I have a friend who for many years wanted to tell me that
she wasn't into men she was scared that I was a homophobic.
We were really close and people were always asking me
if she was straight of course she was I would tell them that she was.
I remember even in college some classmates were telling me
that she wasn't straight but I defended her and last October
she came out and told me that what people were saying about
her was true all along.

I did tell her that she made me feel so stupid because
I was the last to know. I tell her almost everything and
anything about meand yet something as major as this she wouldn't
tell me because she doesn't think I would understand
She said that she always wanted to tell me.

Why didn't I learn from the past? this has happened before
to another person in my life. She was always hanging
out with this girl. The girl was always at her house and
people were asking me if they were together and
I would tell themthat it's really not nice to put malice
onthe actions of other people.

I simply refusedto believe that she wasn't straight.
I never asked her because if it were true I was
hoping that she would tell me.

Until we attended a support group meeting and that
was where she casually told the other people
there that she had a girlfriend. I almost fell out
of my chair and if i was drinking something
i almost surely spit it out.

Am I homophobic? I don't think so.I have friends and
relatives who are gay and lesbians.I accept them for who
they are but I admire them for being true to themselves.

I know i'm rambling here.. maybe next time I hear
something about a friend maybe I could just ask
them straight up if it's true or not so that
I wouldn't be the last to know

ADRIANNE-1-28-08*

ADRIANNE-1-28-08

sorry tabingi kasalanan ni Mommy

ADRIANNE-1-28-08

Adrianne chatting with Daddy

No Scrapping Mojo

I've been itching to scrap lately.. Great but the moment
I sit down and think of what I want to start on. The mojo
disappears. Kakainis!!! Its like I want to do it na already
and yet I can't seem to squeeze it in. I know my friends would
say nothing like a little scrapshopping to help you bounce back.
hmmm... although I have been eyeing the new crop-a-dile II
and the cricut design studio.. Hayyyy wish lists are endless
I admit i've been good lately I only made 2 scrapbooking
related purchases this month which is a record in itself.

Pero in fairness I did all of our christmas cards last Christmas.
I am proud to say that I didn't buy any Christmas card
I made them all.Didn't take any photos of the cards that
I sent because as soon as I made the cards I wrote our
greetings and put them on an envelope then sent
them as soon as i have finished them to beat the christmas
rush.

I was really touched that some of the recipients emailed
me to send me their thank you's. I really am.. It warmed my
heart to let me know that someone took the time to thank
me to say that they appreciated my work.

Pero after the Christmas cards I feel like it sucked
the mojo right out of me. Maybe it needed a break'
and will come back when I least expect it. With
a vengeance. In the meantime while I wait maybe
I do need to do some scrap shopping to help me
bounce right back.

Update on Joshwa

Since my tita asked about Joshwa.. Kuento ako ng kaunti

Joshwa is super kulit di mo na mautakan. Hirap na rin utuin. He is a keen observer we are really careful about what we say or do infront of him kasi ginagaya nya. Teache nya has only good words for him kaso minsan mautak sya. Kasi pag may ginagawa na task na ayaw nya like writing. He will go to the signs corner and put the STOP infront. Kung puedeng makalusot lulusot like magtutulog sya sa class.Tapos pag may absent he will go to the front and remove the name nung absent for the day. Teacher's little helper daw sya saka he will volunteer to put the day for the day in the board. Pag may gusto sya very focussed sya and he can teach himself how to do it.He is closer to his dad and will do things na ginagawa nang daddy nya like when it comes to food. When Im feeding him dinner tagal maubos pero when Daddy does it maski ano pa yung dinner he will try to eat it. He has eaten eggplant, monggo and fish. He is very independent and sometimes doesnt want to ask for help. Hayyy lumalaki na sya and yet somehow he is a like a baby pa rin.

Lately he has learned to use his Daddy's Zune. Eh kaso baka naman masira nya yun. So I decided to get him a Toshiba Mp3 Player. He loves it and really uses it a lot.

Here's the proof:

The song eh di ano pa Wowoweee and some songs na pinasikat ni Willie.. Oh my gosh Joshwa really loves him.. Kaya maski ano pa sinasabi nang mga iba about him I can't hate him kasi Joshwa really loves him. It was like when Joshwa discovered Wowowee ang daming mga nabuksan sa kanya. So how can I hate him? I dont care about what he does in his personal life all I know is iba yung joy na binigay nya sa anak ko. Joshwa's knows the song by heart. Kaya nga pag inaaway ni Joey si Willie pag nagpaparinig sya naiinis ako kay Joey nililipat ko ang TV.I know i'm weird pagdating sa mga ganyan pero you can't blame me. From then Joshwa has been listening to other songs na ang bagong song na alam ni Joshwa ay yung jingle ng Greenwich i can hear him trying to sing it and gosh weird na talaga ang mga last song syndrome ko.. Pero maski may alam pa rin syang song he always goes back to the Wowowee..

Happy Birthday Andie.

Today is Andie's 8th Birthday..

I feel sad that there's no way for me to see her

talk to her, hug her or even kiss her.

I feel the void that she left in our lives..

Even if we have our own daughter

it doesn't help me at all. She's never going

to be replaced. There were many what if's and

what could have been's. As far as Andie

is concerned.

I hope that she's having a happy birthday.

I hope she has a cake with candles that she

could make a wish and blow it out. Some ice cream

and some gifts that she could open.

We love her so much.. We will always

keep her memories in our hearts..

Blender Bottle

I never thought that I'd be impressed with whatever it is
that they sell on tv. Usually kasi pag may nabibili ako
na binebenta sa home shopping pangit ang quality.
Pero naaliw ako dito sa product na ito:

Let me just paste what it says on the website of Home Shopping Network kung saan ko sya binili

This 4-pack of 28 Ounce Blender Bottles makes it easy to mix everything from powdered drinks to pancake mix, without the hassle of dragging out and having to clean the mixer or blender. Just drop the innovative BlenderBall into the cup, screw on the top and shake it until your ingredients are completely mixed. Ideal for whipping up sports drinks at the gym, scrambling eggs for breakfast or mixing delicious dressings for your salad, you'll find uses for your Blender Bottles wherever you go.

28 oz. Blender Bottle Shaker and Mixer Set Features:
(4) 28 ounce cups with screw-on lids and stainless steel wire whisk BlenderBalls
Large drink/pour spouts with snap-close flip top
Easy-grip ridges
Embossed ounce and millimeter markings - fill to the top for 28 ounces of your favorite refreshment
Dishwasher safe

I love this product..

This is not a paid post..

7 Weird Things About Me

I was tagged by my friend Pinky

1. I have an unusual fascination for collecting things
about St. Therese.I don't want a big collection
just small things that I carry in my purse or a chain
that I wear around my neck.

2.I always call out to St.Anthonywhen I'm looking
for something.Weird?? hey but it works..

3. I used to think that I had a onewho got away story.
But when I saw him again I was soo thankful
I was no longer with him.

4. I have a photographic memorywhen it comes
to birthdays. I don't know why.

5. In my head I already have a plan
of what Adrianne's first birthday will be.

6. I share a special sisterly with my cousin Bee.
I should feel guilty that I'm closer to her more than with my
other sister. But strangely enough I don't weird huh?

7. I miss Andrea so much. I think about her everyday.
I don't talk her about as much hoping that it would be less painful.
The pain of losing her I will carry it and I don't think that
the ache and the longing will ever go away.

Adrianne @ 3 months

Adrianne is 3 months today.. Where does the time go? She's smiling more and more and starting to Coo..She goes by many nicknames but the one she really responds and smiles to is when we call her Adee (pronounced as Ay-Deee) And she knows me because she looks for me when her dad is carrying her. It seems that because of what happened with Joshwa we are more attuned to her milestones and developments..

ADRIANNE

Thanks for the Greetings

We had a great time celebrating Joshwa's 7th Birthday.
My sister and her son came over
to join us for a special dinner.
We had a special dinner of Crispy Pata, Sisig, Rice
and Inihaw na Pusit and Cake.

I was excited that he was going to have a school
party but he got stuck at home because he got sick. .
Wala namang fever but the colds got very
bad hirap sya makahinga.

Joshwa sang Happy Birthday to the tune of
Wowoweee!!!! If you know that show
and know the theme song you can just imagine
how cute it is.. Wala syang video because
it happened all of a sudden and knowing
Joshwa he would never dare do that
if he knew he was being recorded.


A few days after his birthday we received
news that would really change our lives.
(No we're not pregnant again!!!)
Will be posting the news as soon everything
is finalized. Wont say anything yet kasi baka
maudlot..

Unwritten-Natasha Bedingfield

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you can not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you can not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you can not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten

Happy 7th Birthday Joshwa

Hayyy 7 na si Joshwa.. Parang kailan lang I was in labor and screaming

in pain and sometimes I still have to shout Joshwa!!!

Volume Down pleaseeee!!!! kasi naman makikinig lang sa music

kailangan pang naka todo ang volume. But with Joshwa Philbert and I learned

to appreciate the little things. We learned to be more patient.. I know sometimes

I'm failing at this department but I really try to do my best.

I'm not ashamed to say that my son has Autism. It's not his

fault and I refuse to hide him in the shadows and leave him at home.

I'm happy that my family loves him so much and takes time out

to spend time with him and celebrates with us at his every achievement

and consoles us when we have our dissappointments.

Life with Joshwa has been challenging to say the

least but we can't imagine our life without Joshwa.

A funny anecdote before I end this post..

Joshwa saw his birthday cake inside the refrigerator

and wants to eat it and I told him no because we

will eat it after dinner , he became upset.

Goes to the computer and opens the notepad

and types HAPPY BIRTHDAY PLEASE MOMMY!!!

Joshwa's 7th Birthday Celebrations and some thoughts

Nakapag celebrate na kami nang 7th Birthday ni Joshwa last
Saturday sa Max. We didn't have entertainment and games
pero it was great because the people that mattered to Joshwa
came to his celebration. I wanted to upload his photos here
pero ang dami pala nung pics eh so I uploaded it at
http://community.webshots.com/user/joshwa_dominik2

Tapos nung Sunday we had our own private birthday
celebration. We went to Gerry's Grill kasi bagong
bukas tapos medyo malapit sa amin. Grabe!!!
haba nang pila can't believe we had to wait 30 minutes
just to get a table pero it was worth it. Buti na lang pala
di namin dun ginawa yung celebration nung birthday ni
Joshwa. The place was small wala silang function rooms
so parang walang privacy.Masarap ang food hayyy
kailan kaya kami makakabalik. Ano kaya ang ang puedeng
gawing excuse para makapunta dun uli.

On Wednesday Joshwa will be having a school
party. We will be sending a cake, cupcakes and juices
thru the school bus and of course a disposable camera

As far as parenting Joshwa is concerned I'm
always not sure if i'm doing the right thing.
Like dapat ko ba pagalitan, hindi ba dapat,
do i need to do tough love or should i cut
him a lot of slack. Ewan ko ba... I go by
my instincts pero minsan i feel like
I'm too strict he prefers his dad over me.
Ganito siguro talaga kasi nga his needs are
different so the way he responds to me and
his dad are also different din.

Updates

Hayyy medyo nakatakas sa mga gagawin para
makapag blog sandali. I've been so busy lately
ironically kung kailan naman pumapasok na
si Joshwa mas lalo pa akong maraming ginagawa.

Adrianne has started to watch her Baby Einstein DVD again
I tried to make her watch it nung nag 1 month sya pero
at that time parang di pa sya ready. Pero nung nag 10 weeks
na sya pinasubok ko na uli buti naman ready na sya.
Pero I just let her watch yung pang 1 month onwards tapos
pare pareho for 1 whole week para ma-familiarize sya.
She seems to be enjoying it kasi di naman sya umiiyak and
nakafocus sya sa TV. I know may mga mag react na ang
aga naman nang DVD to each his own and I do what
works for me.

Joshwa is turning 7 on January 16.
We will be having a small party for him on
Saturday sa MAX Restaurant. First choice
talaga namin is Gerry's Grill kaso naman
I keep bugging them to tell me when they will
open and by the time I found out na bukas na pala
sila nakapag down payment na kami sa MAX.
Okay na rin sa MAX kasi familiar na yung mga bisita
namin kung saan yung restaurant wala nang
mahabang paliwanagan pa.

Parang kailan lang hayyy may 7 year old
na kami and he never fails to amuse us with
the things that he does. Kaso minsan
alam nya kasi na cute sya akala nya lahat nadadaan
lang sa hug and kiss and beautiful eyes.

Yesterday i had to pick up Joshwa at another
drop off location and medyo ninerbyos ako
kasi Adrianne was in a sling and I was holding
Joshwa's hand we had to cross the street.
Tulog naman si Adrianne pero kakanerbyos
pa rin kasi di ako sanay na ako lang and
silang dalawa kasama ko. Buti na lang mabait
si Joshwa walang sumpong. Yun ata ang dapat
i practice yung lumabas nang bahay kasama
yung dalawang bata without Philbert.

Yun na lang muna will post photos of Saturday's
event on my next entry

Baptism Photos

I uploaded all the baptism photos at this site.. http://community.webshots.com/user/leira_pagaspas

What I Got For Christmas

This is what I got for Christmas. Cool huh!!! finally...

If only I can start on my pending LO's.

Brother and Sister

Kuento About Joshwa

Philbert was eating a Snicker's chocolate bar
when Joshwa came up to him to raise his shoe
infront of him. Eto ang usapan nila..

Philbert: Joshwa do you want a chocolate.
What do you say?Say S-N-I-C-K-E-R-S.

Joshwa looks at him at says it out loud..
SSSpatos!

Hahahhaha it was so funny...he couldn't
say the word sneakers but actually blurted
out Ssspatos

Voice Mail

One of the things that I have learned to appreciate

is the Voice Mail feature. Kasi pag tumawag ka

at di mo nakausap puede ka mag leave ng message.

At pag tinawagan ka di mo nasagot puede mo na

lang din i retrieve ang voice mail.



Last week tumawag ako sa isang Ninang ko di

nya nasagot so nag iwan ako ng voice mail.

Pagkaiwan ko ng message bago ko i send

buti na lang nakita ko yung name. I almost

left a voice mail sa voice mail ng isa ko pang

Ninang buti puede i delete otherwise

nakakahiya talaga.



Kagabi tumawag ako sa kapatid ko to greet

her a happy new year and to tell a message

from my dad di nya nasagot. So ako naman

nawala sa isip ko na pumasok na pala sa voice

mail. Naririnig nya daw kami nag uusap nung

mga kaibigan namin. Nakakahiya buti na lang

sa kanya ko naitawag.What if sa iba..

Happy New Year!!

May our good Lord shower you with all the good things you need.

May His holy angels watch over you and your loved ones constantly.

May you find His blessings in the smallest, simplest things that surround you.

And may you be able to share His love, kindness, and blessings always and

in all ways. Wishing you and your loved ones a very

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!