My New Blog

I love my blog's new look. I couldn't have done it without this sweet friend of mine.Thanks so much for my dear friend Jeanny for helping me out. You are my fairy blog-mother.
I can't thank you enough. God Bless.

ANDIE

Andrea or Andie as I call her is my new daughter she's 4 years old.. I'm still trying to figure out kung ano ang second name nya. Gusto nga din palitan yung Andrea kaya lang sanay na sya dun. She's a truly blessing to us coz I remember trying to get pregnant na pero di na ako mabuntis according to the doctor I have secondary inferitility tapos nasabayan pa ng remark ng remark ng MIL ko na kaya ka di mabuntis kasi nabalutan na ng taba ang ovaries mo.
I was so depressed. So I prayed to God..I really want a daughter. Lo and behold this friend calls me up and asks me gusto ko daw ba si Andrea. Akala ko nagbibiro sabi ko sure sabi nya dadalhin daw nya sa house and she wasn't joking the next day dala na nya sa house ko ang dala nya lang is yung damit na suot nya and one extra dress and one underwear. So taranta talaga ako mag shopping ng underwear and clothes for her. Then pinasok ko sya sa school sa katabi ng bahay namin. As for the mom di na sya bumalik sa house ko, Now when she wants to talk to her daughter she just texts me to call her. Im now trying to find a lawyer to help me with the adoption process. Hopefully magka ayos na kami nitong lawyer na kausap ko.
We are not rich.. Therapy pa nga lang ni Joshwa mabigat na. But I've always believed that God will always provide kung will nya na Andie is for us then Im sure he'll help us na pagkasyahin kung ano ang andyan. We love her so much we could never imagine what our life would be without her.
Mayroon din nagsabi na baka mahati ang pagmamahal namin kay Joshwa and Andie.I don't think so. Velvet my friend once told me that a mother love is so great that it can be divided into so many parts and yet pantay pa rin. Ive really realized na totoo talaga yan. Based din sa kuento ng mga iba ko bang friends.

I've always believed that adoption is one of the highest forms of unconditional love although not everyone is meant to adopt kasi di lahat kaya magmahal ng di nya kadugo. I learned this lesson from the Hubby ni CG and Mother Gem.
I know that the threat is always there na bumalik yung nanay na bawiin yung anak nya. For me okay lang yun basta alam ko talagang aalagaan na nya and mabibigyan na nya magandang kinabukasan. I will not say na di sya masakit. It will be very painful i hope that never happens but if it does then maybe she wasn't meant for us.

Visa

Today is just one of those happy days.. Finally nakakuha na rin kami ng visa. After 3 days of cramming it finally paid of. Ganun pala talaga yun.

Di mo talaga alam kung hinanahanap sa yo at kung ano itatanong sa inyo..

Eto ang kuento ko. ..

Dumating kami ng 1:30PM. Dapat earlier pa kasi 2 PM ang appointment kaso naman umulan malakas bumaha pa. Pagdating namin dun pumunta kami sa Pavillion sa Window 1 tapos tinignan yung photo dun sa visa application. Phil and Brox's photo were rejected kasi pangit pala sa digi photo masyadong maliwanag. But just the same binigyan na kaming lahat ng number. After 10 minutes bumalik na sila pina barcode na yung application form tapos punta na kami sa window B tapos tinignan ang application form para malaman na okay na sya. Pumunta na kami sa waiting area

that was the longest 1 1/2 hours of my life.

Tagal maghintay pero kakaaliw yung mga tao. Mayroon dun bank manager sya daming dala and yet na deny sya. Kinabahan ako dun..Kami sya nga nadeny madaming papeles paano kaya kami. Then mayroon group of kids sa likod namin 8 kids to be exact sibblings pala sila. Kasama parents nila. Nabigyan sila ng visa. Imagine 10 sila kasi pati parents ata nila kumuha. Wish na lang ako sana dun kami mapunta. Just my luck dun kami napunta. In fairness.. Cute sya.

Here are some of the questions na tinanong sa amin baka sakaling nag hahanda na din kayo pumunta sa US baka makatulong sa inyo.Eto ang dialogue namin:

Consul: Whats the purpose of your visit?

Me: To attend the wedding of my sister.

Consul: Where might that be?Me: In Los Angeles

Consul: (turns to Philbert and asks) what is your line of work?

Phil: Im in Information Technology, (then proceeds to discuss his line of work technical na sya so di ko naintindihan)

Consul: Do you have plans to work there?

Phil: No, because i know that IT's are already being outsourced from other countries.

Consul: Yeah that's true IT's in the US go to other countries to get work.

Consul: What about you? where are you working?

Me: Im working for our family business

Consul: Which side?

Me: My dad owns the company

Consul: What kind of business are you in?

Me: I discussed kung ano line of work and biz namin

Consul: (to Phil) What does your brother do in the US?

Phil: I'm not really familiar with his line of work there.All I know is that he is an accountant

Consul: What does your sister do in the US?

Me: She's working for a home care agency as Payroll Assistant.

Consul: (to Phi)l: Will it be hard for you to get a vacation from your boss?

Phil: Not really because December is really a slow month.

Consul: How long are you planning to stay?Me: 30 days max

Consul: Want to show me anything.. Ngek di ko alam kung ano ipapakita ko sa dami. If there was such a thing as being over prepared we were it. Name it we have it. Pictures, properties, car registrations and etc. Pero naman di sa amin yun sa tatay ko.

Me: Here's the wedding invitation and the letter of support from my dad and cert from the bank. Because he'll be financing the trip.

Consul: Do you have Joshwa's birth certificate? How old is he?Me: He is 3 years old and I hand him the birth certificate.

Consul: Okay then everything's great.( He hands us the yellow paper)Go to the pavillion then pay for the courier's fee to have your visa delivered. We usually give single entry visa's since you're a first timer.

That was it.. I couldn't even believe it till we paid for the courier's fee.. Ganun katagal bago nagsink in. Di ko alam kung suerte lang at nakakuha kami. Palagay ko will of the Lord ito.. We literally stormed the heaven's with prayers. My mom asked all her priest friends to pray for us. Ako naman I kept going to http://adorationsisters.org/requests.html to make a prayer request and I asked the my tita's cell group to also pray for us. It worked, it really worked.. Im just so happy.. .

What A Day!!!

Today was a day like no other. . It was one of the worse mommy days. It's the day where I had to rush to the emergency room to bring my son in for treatment.

Eto ang sequence of events:

It was 8:45 AM Joshwa's yaya just called me..

Bing: Hello , Ate Leirs nasugat si Joshwa.
Leirs: Bakit ano nangyari?
Bing: Ate kasi si Joshwa umakyat sa kuarto tapos nung tinatawag
ko biglang sinarado pinto.
Leirs: O tapos ano nangyari
Bing: Tapos pagsara nya naipit daliri nya ayaw tumigil ng dugo.
Natanggal ata kuko nya.
Leirs: Mag ready na kayo.. Uwi na ako punta na tayo ng Makati Med ngayon na.

I was shaking I could barely walk to the jeepney stop. As soon as I saw his wounded pinky finger dun na talaga sya nag sink in.

Pagdating namin sa emergency room they immediately ushered us inside. I was trying to compose myself pero talagang I was panicking na. . The doctors only had one verdict Joshwa had to be confined. Kasi they wanted to remove the nail. Imagine that it shattered like a broken glass pero nakakabit pa rin sa finger nya. They wanted to remove it baka maging source of infection.

So there I was praying silently na sana wag na sya ma-confine.Eventhough may insurance si Joshwa semi-private lang ang coverage namin. Pero in my heart I know that I have to trust in the will of the Lord. Nahihiya ako sa anak ko na ni wala man lang akong pambayad kung ma hospital sya para upgrade yung room nya.. I know mababaw pero as a mom gusto ko sana the very best para sa anak ko.


Pero still inayos ko pa rin lahat.. Then pagbalik ko sa ER para sunduin ko na si Joshwa dumating na yung orthopedic surgeon nya. Then Lo and Behold he told me na di na kailangan magpaconfine si Joshwa.Apparently, In special kids mahirap daw i-sedate kasi daw di ma predict ang effect. Yung iba daw matagal magising yung iba naman nag wear off agad.

Kaya ayun nilagay ng glue yung kuko nya na naiwan. Para pag tumubo na yung kuko nya itutulak na nya yung patay na kuko palabas. Para di nya magalaw ang ang sugat may bandage ang buong right hand nya.

Masaya lang ako na okay na si Joshwa. Yun lang naman talaga importante di ba?

Da Vinci Code

I just finished reading the The Da Vinci Code and from someone who doesnt really read suspense books.. Here's my review:

It's good, damn good. The Da Vinci Code has all the right ingredients to create a massive market share of the fiction . The characters are believable, the fictional premise intriguing, and it made a really good analogy about the catholic church and the search for the Holy Grail.

You all deserve a quick plot summary. Know that there can't be one here -- the book is a thriller and details will destroy it for you. I just had to delete the next 250 or more words I'd written, because I realized it would destroy the suspense in the book. I'd defined the Holy Grail in terms of Celtic, Moor (pick your pagan) traditions. Then I wrote about the myths surrounding the Knights Templar, the persecution of Jews, the relationship between Jesus and his love, Mary Magdalene, and more. What I can tell you without ruining the book, is that this book takes myth and reality and combines it in just the right way. He appears to be right on target with his many of his conclusions, and while the book is "fiction", one can't help but believe much of it. Brown doesn't insist you believe him, in fact, he's almost apologetic about how strange and unusual his conclusions may sound. In a subtle way, he warns the reader that everyone is allowed their own belief system and whatever gives someone spiritual comfort should be respected. But Using Will and Ariel Durant's The History of Civilization, Francis and Joseph Gies' Women in the Middle Ages, and Barbara Walker's The Women's Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets to confirm Brown's facts, I learned that when he puts two and two together, it's amazing what he comes up with.

This book will have what is probably an unintentional effect. The Da Vinci Code counteracts other best sellers. Brown presents an intellectual and fact-based suspense thriller that will hopefully start a trend toward debunking the misquoted myths and errant Biblical interpretations .One can't help but wonder when the fanatics of the religious right will rise up in defense of the End Times series and call for a boycott of The Da Vinci Code.

As for me it doesnt anymore what other people think of the book. It answered a lot of questions.
I love it.. I love it.. I love it
.

ASAP

MUST DO

I have and want to:
1) lose, lose, lose...a lot of weight!
2) start playing badminton
3) pay the bills.. and find a way to get the money to pay for my bills
4) be a better me..

Married Life Realizations

Yesterday as we were patching things up and I was asking Hon if he had anything else to say.He told me what's the use di ka naman sumusunod sa akin. At first I was in denial then denial changed to defensiveness.I don’t like it that I have to give up control. Minsan nga inaasar ko pa yung kaibigan ko pag sinasabi nya sa akin na sumusunod sya pag may sinasabi asawa nya. I’m like whaaatt!!! I just got married but I didn't plan to surrender my life to anyone else.

Then kanina I was talking to my friend she was complaining about her SIL. Tigas daw ng ulo ayaw sumunod sa asawa baka daw di nya mahal kasi kung mahal mo papasakop ka. Then we started to discuss submissiveness. Then It hit me.. That's a trait I dont have.


Naisip ko tuloy marami sana kaming problems na naiwasan namin kung sumunod lang ako. I realized that I did surrender my life to him the day I said I do.

I also realized that a happy marriage is more than the "I Do" on the wedding day. It is hard work and can be a lengthy process. Believe me, no successful marriage is arranged in heaven. God made men and women capable of making marriage work!!! This does not come effortless.

Many of us enter marriage with impossible dreams and unrealistic expectations.
No one could tell us about the flaws in our choice of a spouse. We were in love and our love would surmount all obstacles.

Two months into the marriage and reality will start to set in. You start to discover a lot of things both good and bad. The in-laws that you thought you love will make your marriage MORE complicated.

Courtship and marriage may begin with romantic love, but for a long-lasting relationship, romantic love must be complemented by maturity, trust and respect. Special personal qualities are crucial for a happy relationship: commitment, sensitivity, generosity, consideration, loyalty, responsibility, trustworthiness.

Romance and mutual attraction are important for a happy marriage, and should not be overlooked. But you cannot live on love, no matter how romantic that sounds.
Romantic love is not enough when you and your spouse lack what it takes to sustain a relationship as intimate and as spiritual as marriage.

According to M. Scott Peck’s book the Road Less Traveled, Love is not a feeling it’s a commitment. When you tell someone that I love you. You tell that person that I commit myself to you. That’s why I’m sad that people seem to take that word lightly.

Couples need to cooperate, compromise, and follow through with joint decisions. They have to be resilient, accepting, and forgiving. They need to be tolerant of each other's flaws, mistakes and peculiarity

Marriage is a reflection of our relationship with God. We submit to our husbands, they submit to Christ and Christ submits to the Father. If we have no respect for our husband’s authority, then we have no respect for God’s authority. Sometimes God doesn’t do things the way we think they ought to be done, same as our husbands, huh. Sometimes we have to hang on because the ride gets bumpy. But, somehow we always have a sense that God’s having everything in control is OK while our husbands don’t have the foggiest notion and we have to usurp their authority with our own. Look out if they don’t do it our way.

We can submit to our husbands by letting them pick the restaurant or discipline the children the way they see fit. When our husband makes a decision, we can support it and stand up for it. If we give the role as the spiritual head of household to our husband, we might be surprised to find out that he takes control of this very well. Maybe it’s our way that isn’t working that good. After all, the sixties have been over for a while, but there are still a lot of ways this world belongs to men. Maybe, it takes a man to deal with it.


Here are some of the scriptures that I found that is related to submissiveness.

1Corintians 11:3

Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.

Ephesians 6:7
Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men.

Ephesians 5:21
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

CANADA...NOT!

Sorry for not updating this blog.. We actually went through a Marital Crisis last week. There were so many issues that came up that caught me off guard. Then we talked about most off the things that happened in the last couple of days. But as we were resolving things. He dropped a bombshell on me that I didn't expect. He then told me that he really didn't want to migrate at all. He loves his job and here and can't see himself starting again.I told him not to say NO right away kasi matagal pa naman kami ma-approve so it might take us a few years before we can leave.But in the end someone had to give in and it was me. Haaayyyy!! I hope I can change his mind.. Say in 10 years.

My Family Lay Out..

Yung page na ito na nakalagay pinapakita lang ako at si Philbert bilang magulang. Kung mapapansin nyo sunod sunod yung sequence mula nung baby pa si Josh hanggang sa ngayon. Natutuwa lang ako sa nakikita ko kasi lumalaki na talaga ang baby ko.

My Latest Scrapbook Work

I just wanted to post my latest work.. I'm may not be a good scrapbooker. But I love being a scrapshopper. Whats the point of this entry wala lang.. I just wanted to share my work.. Pinahaba ko pa..

Great News!

Tinawagan na akong nung foundation na papasukan ni Joshwa. Nasabi ko lang ay Haaay salamat.. Kasi ang tagal ko din syang hinintay mga isang taon din yun. Pero okay lang kasi nasa last stage na kami ng application. Assessment na ni Joshwa sa Tuesday.. Maghanda na daw ng 3k para sa assessment fee. Tapos pag papasok na sya magbibigay na kami ng 5k na bond. Nasabi ko na lang sa sarili ko. Parang di foundation ang laki pa rin ng ilalabas. Pero natuwa naman ako dun sa feedback na binigay sa akin kasi daw okay daw talaga yung foundation.. O sya ano pa nga ba. Kaysa naman maglabas ako ng 30K a month( yan yung going rate nila pinaka minimum pa yun) di namin kaya. Baka di na kami kumain at sa kalsada na kami tumira. Mabait talaga ang Diyos sa amin. Di nya kami pinapapabayaan.


Kaya lang ang malungkot na balita pag nagsimula na kami sa foundation kailangan ko na bitawan yung ABA nya ngayon kasi ABA din ang pinaka approach nung foundation. Buti na lang matagal ko na sinabi na temporary lang itong kina Teacher Mavic masay ako at nainitindihan naman nila kami. Sana lang magtuloy tuloy yung improvement ni Joshwa. Maski pa may bagong center na sya lilipatan tapos bagong Teacher na ang hahawak sa kanya


Dahil foundation yung papasukan nya subsidized ang rate ng therapy nya. Malaki din ang matitipid namin. Marami na kaming puedend gawin dun sa matitipid namin. Puede na sya mag school next year kasi luluwag na din ang schedule nya. Syempre pa puede ko na uli pagbigyan ang isa sa mga luho ko may pangbili na ako ng scrapbook materials ko..Naku paktay lo na naman ako sa asawa ko buti na lang di sya nagbabasa ng blog ko.

Marauder's Map Quiz

Which Harry Potter Marauder Are You?

You are loyal and protective of those you care about, but have a quick temper when an injustice is made, especially when that injustice was done by a Slytherin. You have a wild streak to you, but life has taught you what is really important.

Thoughts on Migrating

I have been reading all about migration this past few days with great interest. We decided to start preparing the papers that we need when we finally apply for our Canadian Visa.The list that I have is very long. Despite all of the things I have read & heard about how hard it is and how difficult it can get. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish that goal.


I also know stories of people who have been successful in Canada; however, I think the adjustments and the hardships that we will face once we get there are certainly true. I’m also aware that that there will be discrimination. (pero sa lahat ng lugar meron nyan)


Despite all of this, I still have a strong desire to migrate. I'm thankful that friends and family despite the encouragement never fail to tell me that there is another side of Canada, which is rarely known. In that way, I can be prepared for the worst.


What really gave me the courage to give it a go is the fact that we have a Special Child. I have heard great things about their programs with regards to Autism. I know that if that can help him maximize his full potential. Then that’s where we will go.

Sorry kung tagalog.. Galing ako sa biyahe kaya pagod pa ako mag isip. Gusto ko lang sya isulat bago ko pa makalimutan.

Kakauwi ko lang galing sa lugar ng mga biyenan ko. Kakatatawa pa kasi yung asawa ko di umuwi.Ang dahilan ang computer nya.Na-addict sa Gunbound (PC GAME ).Sabi ko sa kanya baka sa dami ng lakad na di mo napuntahan dahil dyansa game na yan. Baka pag may nangyari sa yo walang dumamay sa yo at computer mo na langang nandyan.


Kami lang ng anak ko at ang kanyang butihing yaya ang umalis.Nagbyahe na lang kami kasi malapit lang naman (3 hours away)


Namatay ang pinsan ni Hon. Si E.M 27 years old, May kapansanan sya sa pagkakaalam ko based lang sa impormasyon na nakuha ko ay Autistic sya ayon lang ito sa mga symptomas na nakalap ko dahil sa pagsasaliksik ko. Takot na takot sila na bansag na yun. Mas gusto pa nilang tawagin na retarded sya. Ayon sa usap usapan tinangka daw sya ipa-abort nang nanay nya.Kasi tatlo na ang anak nyang babae na maliliit pa tapos nalaman nya na buntis na naman sya. Tinangka nyang inuman ng gamot nung walang nangyari. Tinuloy na lang nya. Laking pagsisisi nya nung malaman nyang lalaki pala ang naging anak nya. Dahil din sa pangyayari ito tumabang na ang pagsasama ng mag asawa. Di matanggap nung asawang lalaki ang ginawa ng kanyang kabyak.


Nung panahon na para sya ay mag aral di daw sya nagsasalita at parang di daw interesado mag aral di na nila pinilit pumasok sa eskuewala. Pinagpalagay na lang nila na epekto ng gamot kasi aminado naman yung nanay. Di na nila pinatignan sa doctor. Pinabayaan nalang na lumaki ng ganun. Di na sya talaga nagsalita..


Iba iba ang usapan kung ano ba talaga ang kinamatay nya.Sabi ng iba inatake daw sa puso. Tinanong ko kung bakit di nila alamkung maysakit sya sa puso. Ang sagot sa akin ay kasi di naman sya nagsasalita kaya di malaman kung ano ang masakit sa kanya.

(Naisip ko naman sana man lang napatignan maski isang beses para langmalaman kung may sakit ba sya sa puso at para malaman kung ano talagangkapansanang mental meron sya) Sabi naman ng iba ay baka daw binangungot sya at may ilanding nagsabi na baka talagang di na daw umaabot sa 30 ang lifespan ng isang Mentally Retarded.(natawa ako sa theory na ito kasi wala itong basis)


Nagulat na lang daw sila na bigla syang umungol ng malakasna tila ba nasasaktan. Tapos nangisay sya. Nung tinakbo sa hospital wala na sya.


Nalungkot ako nung pumunta ako nang burol nya.Dahil wala talagang may kilala sa kanya. Walang nagsayang ng oras para subukan naabutin sa mundong ginagalawan nya.


Habang nakikinig ako sa nanay nya ramdam ko ang magkahalong lungkot,panghihinayang, pagsisi at pag luluksa. Di ko lang masabi na sa lahat siguro dun isa ako sa lubos na nakakaramdam ng pinagdadaanan nyadahil Nanay ako at may special child. Damdam ko ang paghingi nya ng tawadnya sa anak nya.

Kaya kanina pinagsabihan na naman ako ng biyenan ko na wag mag alalala na di pa nagsasalita ang anak ko di ko na lang pinansin ang sinabi nya. Kung may malaki man akong natutunan sa pangyayaring yun ay Di ako dapat tumigil hanggat di ko naabot ang mundo ni Joshwa.

Kung kailangang pumasok ako dun at dun na lang kami gagawin ko. Gusto ko lagi nyang malaman na mayroon syang Nanay na gagawin ang lahat para sa kanya.


Gusto ko masabi ni Joshwa sa sarili nya na may boses ako at ang Nanay ko ang tutulong sa akin para masabi ko sa inyo yun.

Autisms

Michael Tan

Published on page A15 of the August 18, 2004 issue of the Philippine Daily Inquirer

A NOVEL where an autistic teenager solves the mystery of a neighbor's murdered poodle?
Why not? Mark Haddon's "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time" makes for a fascinating read as you "listen" to the mind of 15-year-old Christopher, while he unravels a crime involving a murdered dog.


Early in the novel, we realize that Christopher is autistic. His mind plays with numbers, and he loves maps and all kinds of trivial facts. He admits he doesn't like people too much and, no wonder, he has difficulties reading their facial expressions, and hates being touched. But note that he can't tell lies, not even a white lie.

The novel is fast-paced, something you can read on the plane as I did, but be careful because it goes in all sorts of directions as you try to keep up with Christopher's brain, processing the world in the peculiar way autistics do. His trip to London, done on his own, is especially gripping as he tries to figure out what train to take, and how to make his way to a particular address in the city.


Autisms and Asperger'sI'm not surprised Haddon's book is listed in several websites listing resources for families with autistic children. Haddon himself worked with autistics, and deftly drew on his experiences to write this novel. In the process, he reaches a much wider audience with a non-technical perspective on autisms.


I'm using the plural here because autism actually refers to a range of conditions. The term was first coined in Germany in 1912 by the Swiss psychiatrist Paul Bleuler: "autismus" derived from "auto," meaning self and "ismus," the state of. Autism is "the state of self," and was first used to refer to children who seemed caught in their own world, oblivious to their external environment.
In many societies, including our own, such children may be labeled as mentally retarded, and end up isolated and neglected. But the autistic are also often "fixated" on particular tasks, and will exhibit amazing skills in a specific field, such as math, music, painting.


As neurologists and psychiatrists saw more patients, they realized that autism took many variations. Some of the patients were very dependent on their families while others, so-called high-functioning autistics, could live on their own.


In 1944, a Viennese physician, Hans Asperger, published a paper about young boys who had normal intelligence and language development but who had autistic-like behaviors, such as being obsessed with certain routines, and having difficulty reading people's body language and emotions. As with the other autisms, the medical world later realized that Asperger's was more common than they thought, and that some of the people with this condition were very bright and become leaders in professions that require an almost obsessive concentration on particular tasks.


Nerds, geeks, malesIt's not surprising that there's speculation that Albert Einstein had Asperger's. Nerds and geeks may actually be "high-functioning" autistics or people with Asperger's. Note how very bright people will sometimes be very awkward with social skills (sometimes, in exasperation, we even call them "social morons"). Males, incidentally, outnumber females when it comes to autistics (who knows, maybe so-called male insensitivity may actually be a variation of Asperger's).


But we should certainly differentiate people with Asperger's from the mean, the vicious and the corrupt, those who have trapped themselves in dull and drab worlds of their own making, so completely differently from the fascinating and vibrant worlds of autistics and Aspergers.
Haddon's mystery novel allows us to peek into these special minds, while reminding us of how autisms are becoming so much a part of our lives. The psychiatrist Hans Asperger would be pleased, for example, to know his surname is now used rather commonly, as in, "Oh dear, I think I married an Asperger."


As we understand the spectrum of conditions here, we become more accepting, and understanding. Teaching in a university, I can tell you we have more than the regular share of Aspergers, and that this makes life in the academe both exciting ("What a genius. She must be an Asperger.") and exasperating ("Can't he just shut up and let others speak? He must be an Asperger.")


The writing professions, print journalism included, also probably has a greater share of Aspergers, given the way you need to collect and collate facts and images in your head and transform them into an article, essay or novel. Yes, maybe even columnists, especially those who write about the strangest topics, maybe Aspergers.


Disorders or variations?Easy now. I know some of you are getting nervous, the way Aspergers sound like Martians. I can imagine people in offices suddenly asking each other, as they look to a colleague, "Is he or isn't he?"


I do worry that the medical profession, by attaching labels, may inadvertently stigmatize these conditions. There are debates, for example, about what Asperger's really is, with all kinds of alternative labels proposed: Is it a form of high-functioning autism? Or a form of attention-deficit disorder?


The term "disorder" makes me uneasy. Certainly, there are many autistic individuals who need medical and social services, but the nerds and geeks will manage quite well, thank you. In fact, I often tell my students that if all humans were "sosyal," too busy making friends and socializing, humanity would still be stuck in caves. We needed the introverted nerds and geeks retreating into their own worlds to reflect, and to discover fire and invent the first tools.


I'd suggest that by moving away from psychiatric labels with its connotations of medical treatment, we might be in a better position to find social niches for the whole range of autisms. BBC had a news item a few weeks back about a Danish man who had put up a computer programming firm that mainly hired autistics because of the way they could concentrate. It turned out the man has an autistic son, who he hopes will eventually work in that firm.
That is a more dramatic case of carving out a social niche for an autistic child. For families with autistics and Aspergers, a more basic need is to simply pass on some social skills. There are now quite a few books and websites offering advice for families to help autistics function better in society.


Autistics and Aspergers, for example, may have difficulties working with people because they seem selfish and mean, running all over people's feelings with unreasonable demands and blunt remarks. This could be avoided if, in childhood, an Aspergers learns there's a world of people out there who also have their needs, and that they will need to take extra effort to "read" people's feelings. How is this done? Even being conscious about looking into the eyes of a child with Aspergers while communicating is said to be vitally important in teaching some of the basic social skills.


We still have a lot of learn about autistic conditions, and as we learn more, we might come to accept these conditions as part of the variations that make humanity so interesting.

Proud Mom

Im such a proud mom.. Joshwa learned a lot of new things this past few weeks. He can now do his OWN action of Twinkle,Twinkle, Skinny Marie & Itsie Bitsie Spider.Syempre pa kailangan may kumanta pa for him.Ako yun.. I knew my voice will be useful for something . (hahahah).

He can now do other tricks like wave bye, flying kiss, hug, kiss & bless. Some of you might be thinking why should I be so proud of something that seemed normal to other kids. That's because my son may not be normal but he is certainly special. He's Autistic.

It took us 2 years to get to where we are right now. This was a journey that I never thought I would take but still the journey isn't over. I know that the road is tough and I'll be there for him every step of the way.

Someone once asked me how I could handle the fact that he is special and that he may never be like other kids. I just gave them a straight answer. I'm his Mom there is nothing that I wouldn't do for him.

Wifey Troubles

Had an argument with Hubby just now.I couldn't rely on him to help me with anything related to HTML. I wanted a new template for my blog and I've been looking at Blogskin.com. I found something that I liked. Now,I needed some help with the tweeking and to adjust the tagboard.He just refuses to help me. I told him that why can't he help me? He's good with these
things because of his background and he just looks at me and tells me that the blog is there its not his problem and its there for me to figure out. I've been trying to figure out this blog ever since I started to use it. Sorry for the ranting..Im just getting so frustrated that this blog is not looking like the way I envisioned it or the way its supposed to look like..

.. Aarrghh.. I rest my case.

Here's a good article on Secondary Infertility. I can relate to this article because I have it.

Secondary Infertility
by: Psyche Pascual

Finding out you're infertile can be agonizing, and reaching out to friends and family for support is natural. But when couples or individuals have had one child and face difficulties having another, they often get little or no sympathy from the people around them. This type of infertility is called secondary infertility, and it can be as painful as being unable to conceive a first child (primary infertility).

Even friendly queries from a relative or friend, like "When are you having another child?" can sting, especially when a couple has been trying for years to have one. If a couple does go through expensive fertility treatment, friends and family members may not understand the emotional and financial toll it can exact. Infertility support groups may not help because people dealing with secondary infertility may find that members are less understanding to anyone who already has a child.

It's no wonder that secondary infertility is considered an invisible dilemma, and that so many suffering from it feel shut out of the world around them.


The good news is that there are many options for people who want more children. Before fertility treatment, though, talk with your partner about how much you want or can afford. Depending on your prognosis and finances, you may eventually want to consider other options, such as adoption.

An Article Involving A Mother and Her Autistic Son
(Breaktime Section by Ms Banal Philippine Daily Inquirer, July 31, 2004)

This one is for the books, and it happened at SM Megamall, the most popular mall of retail magnate Henry “Tatang” Sy, who is building malls over the country.
It seems that one day, a certain Ruby Javier went to Megamall at 12 noon to pay for her utilities at the SM customer service counter.
Aling Ruby always had to tow with her a 17 year-old special child, her son Francis, who has autism, diagnosed by doctors to have a mental capacity of a 6-yearold.
Francis, like most autistic children, had difficulty in expressing himself. He could hardly talk. But he is never violent.
That day at the mall, while Aling Ruby was doing her business at the SM Supermarket, she somehow lost sight of Francis. He drifted away somewhere at the mall unknown to the mother.
And it was the most harrowing 12 hours for Aling Ruby, trying to look for her son, without much help from the Megamall management, thank you.

A soon as she became aware that Francis was missing, Aling Ruby informed the Megamall security office.
Hours passed and still no action from the megamall security office, Aling Ruby was told to go to the police instead. The police asked her for photographs of the missing Francis.
But then the poor Aling Ruby was on her own looking for her son. After hours of searching and asking around the mall, she found out that Francis actually drifted to the area of the cinemas.

There, as it turned out, Francis tried to go into one of the theatres showing Harry Potter film. The security guard rough-housed Francis for trying to go in without paying.
As if it was not enough, the cinema security turned over Francis to the mall security. Without much ado, the mall security kicked Francis out of the mall. There – the problem solved.
The poor special child drifted outside in the streets for more than 15 hours. Call it mother’s instinct, but Aling Ruby was able to find her son seating outside another mall, several kilometers away from Megamall, at way past midnight.
I can only say this to the Megamall management: heaven help me in what I might do, should something like that happen to my godson, a nephew of mine, who has the same condition as Francis!

You guys there at Megamall have a problem!

Treats for a sweet tooth, time-kissed pretty clothes, and happy feet
LOVE LUCY By Lucy GomezThe Philippine STAR 08/01/2004

You know how it is when you chance upon wonderful stuff just when you least expect to? Call them luck-kissed finds, karmic doodads, happy destinies – whatever title you blanket them under they are all the same in that they make for very happy smiles. This past week has been an overflow of such "good things", to quote Martha Stewart my favorite (in)famous celebrity, and I cannot wait for you to check them out yourselves. Here’s hoping you will enjoy (and yes, love) them as much as I have.

Cassava Bibingka – from a lady named Ping. Aside from having a sweet tooth I am also especially drawn to native kakanin. In Ormoc, there are a number of good cassava cakes, budbud, balanghoy – available at little cottage industries that have stood the test of time and change. Whenever my family visits, most especially my sister, they always hand-carry for me my hometown edible favorites. And now with this cassava bibingka that is easily just a text message away, I could not be happier. From today onwards, I will have no room for longing. Her cassava bibingka is delicious beyond words. The lady who makes it has had the recipe for a total of 20 years and despite the demand and the urgings of friends for her to sell it commercially she did not. But time has a way of pushing one in the right direction and she has finally given in to what she has deprived us of for so long and will now take orders (thank God!). Her goodies are a steal at only P250 for the small size and P450 for the larger one. And should you need to give them as gifts, they come very prettily packaged, too. Best eaten warm, although others may prefer it cold – either way, you are sure to love it. For orders, text or call Ping at 0917-6255123.


Brownies – from Roshan. And I thought I had already tasted all the good ones out there. This one, a definite must-try, will easily become a favorite. Guaranteed. Truth be told, Roshan is not a recent find (I have enjoyed her treats for over a year now) – but I discovered her by chance after Chechel, a friend of mine sent me some. She came to mind again earlier this week because a friend of mine and I were talking about the best places to order brownies from. Her brownies are consistently moist, with just the right amount of chocolatey sweetness and a taste that brings you back to some faintly-remembered home. I often enjoy it guiltlessly by dunking a whole brownie in a glass of full cream milk. As they absorb the milk, so too do they break down in huge chunks; only then do I spoon them out of the goop. Talk about melt-in-your-mouth goodness. Try it, this treat is perfect for a rainy day. Although the brownies can be eaten warm or cold, I prefer the former. For orders, call or text Roshan at 0917-8336286. By the way, she also makes to-die-for chocolate chip cookies and sylvannas. Her chocolate cake, no-fuss in its traditional goodness, comes with a generous amount of icing all over and in between.


Be sure to taste these three items, too. 27 ans – a clothing line available at Souk in Crecsent Building, San Miguel Avenue, Ortigas. I went there looking for something else and Heidi, who takes wonderful care of all Souk clients, led me to this rack of one-of-a-kind vintage pieces hand-picked and reworked by Tracie Anglo-Dizon. I met and worked with Tracie once for a Preview shoot but I haven’t seen her since. The beautiful pieces, maybe because of the patina of time, have a distinct, appealing old-world charm about them. They are just lovely and being draped in them almost transports you back to a time when being prettily dressed was as normal for a dinner out with your man as it was for a walk in the park. I especially fell in love with a pretty embroidered pink top, beribboned at the waist with a bright blue velvet ribbon (it was on reserve for someone else, boohoohoo), a white eyelet vest, also beribboned at the waist (it was way too big for me) and a blue knit sleeveless blouson reworked with paisley-print patches. Aside from being in very good condition, they are also one-of-a-kind so you can truly create a look that is all your own. I asked Heidi why the line is called 27 ans and she explained that apparently, anything over 27 years old (ans is French for years) is considered vintage. Don’t you just like the sound of that? It is enough reason for me to not only invest in good clothes but at the same time take care of and safe-keep them for Juliana (and her future sisters) to enjoy. On my next trip to Cebu, I cannot wait to raid the bauls in my maternal grandmother’s home. I’m sure there will be a treasure trove of vintage items waiting to be resurrected. Having 27 ans around easily beats having to go through piles and piles of dusty, vintage pieces that often abound in thrift stores. Another plus, they come tagged with very reasonable pricing, too.


Pretty Fit – Many thanks to Tim Yap, who invited me over to the store opening that he organized, I got wind of this pretty, pretty shoe store that is a franchise from Singapore. They carry a myriad of fashionable footwear, the styles and color of which remind me of eye candy. There is nothing boring about them; there available are glittery and bejeweled evening sandals, chic ballet flats with interesting details, patterned slip-ons for everyday wear that look anything but ordinary – and they carry up to a size 11! Even better is the fact that they are all very reasonably priced (starting at P1,000+ onwards). No wonder there was a mad clamor the day that they opened. Although I did not get a chance to really check out their men’s line, they do have a rack devoted to male footwear. With Pretty Fit now available locally, there is one more good reason to display a neat pedicure. Their shoes will surely make feet, well, nothing less than pretty. Pretty Fit is available at Glorietta 3, beside the Dockers store. Take the entrance by Tower Records for a faster way to get there.


Finally, have you tried the new Strawberries and Cream drink from Starbucks? It is just delightful. That and their Green Tea Frapuccino and I will love them forever. I am especially addicted to the latter, there was a time when I was enjoying it on a daily basis until I realized that I was enjoying it too much and not working it off enough. Now I limit my intake to times when I truly "deserve" to indulge in a glass – after a good dance workout or when it is raining really hard (which thankfully happens often enough nowadays). Talk about a sweet reward that I do not seem to tire of. You will understand why when you try it yourself. There you have it, you may be a tad thicker around the waist area after all the sweet treats, your money purse a bit less robust after a pair or two of shoes from Pretty Fit and a top from 27 ans but who can accuse you of not enjoying what is readily available and in the process grinning from ear to ear like a little girl at least once? Till next time, have a great Sunday!