My mom opened her new venture last Monday
I know I don't say this out loud
I'm proud of her and this new
venture she's embarking on. The first
time I saw her in action I was so proud
of her its as if she was meant to do this.
The food is also great. Im not just saying this
because she owns the place. The food is really,
really good.
I don't know if you're ever reading my blog
Ma.. Just the same let me say this Im proud
of you and Keep up the Good Work.
Friday, August 04, 2006
Thursday, August 03, 2006
28 Days To Go.. Closure
According to Wikipedia.org In psychology, closure
may refer to the state of experiencing an emotional
conclusion to a difficult life event, such as the
breakdown of a close interpersonal relationship
or the death of loved one. People may behave
in a certain way or perform certain rituals to
help "bring closure" following such events.
In many other cases, "closure" may only come about
through the passage of time
(as in "time heals all wounds").
So thats what I've been doing this past
couple of days talking to old friends
forgiving them if needed but I do in such
a way that I don't have to actually say
I forgive you. For me just the fact that
I can talk to them and forget what happened
in the past was enough.
Unfortunately, much as i want to ask for
forgiveness from those that I have hurt
in the past I can't anymore. I already did
ask from at least 10 of them and they scoffed
at me and threw it right back at me called me
ugly names behind my back. I can't do that
anymore,I can't go through that again.
So call it being a coward,I call it self preservation.
may refer to the state of experiencing an emotional
conclusion to a difficult life event, such as the
breakdown of a close interpersonal relationship
or the death of loved one. People may behave
in a certain way or perform certain rituals to
help "bring closure" following such events.
In many other cases, "closure" may only come about
through the passage of time
(as in "time heals all wounds").
So thats what I've been doing this past
couple of days talking to old friends
forgiving them if needed but I do in such
a way that I don't have to actually say
I forgive you. For me just the fact that
I can talk to them and forget what happened
in the past was enough.
Unfortunately, much as i want to ask for
forgiveness from those that I have hurt
in the past I can't anymore. I already did
ask from at least 10 of them and they scoffed
at me and threw it right back at me called me
ugly names behind my back. I can't do that
anymore,I can't go through that again.
So call it being a coward,I call it self preservation.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
29 Days To Go: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEEHONG
I always remember her as the kid who came to
live with us and I treated her as to how I would treat
my sisters.And believe it or not I do feel like she
is my sister. Protective at times and most of the
time her partner in crime. We went through a lot
of mischiefs together. I dare not elaborate on this blog
coz it will be incriminating.
I always look forward to spending time with her.
We are like two peas in a pod. We derive a lot
of pleasure from the simple things in life: shopping,
eating, talking and laughing about things. Though I know
a lot of people don’t get her but I do.
I may be older than her but she always had a way of
putting things into perspective for me.
If there was something really disturbing me,
I would call her talk to her about it and
she would blunt her opinions and it
would make a lot of sense.
People talk about these values that a decent person
should have but she embraces them. She could easily
could disarm any tenuous situation and have people
laughing with her many one-liners. She always tries
to be calm but of course her temperament gets in
the way but I still believe that she is a person who
has honor, loyalty and integrity.
To my dear cousin Beehong.. Happy Birthday..
Thank you for being in my life. I would always treasure
you and hope that you have a great year ahead of you.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
30 Days to Go
The person who will replace me as far as
work is concerned came today. She's okay
I've met her before. She might be the person
that my parents have been looking for
softspoken and yet good with filling something
that i'm not good at.
I'm going to have one last scrap session with
my friends. I'm going to miss the scrapbook
girls. But i'm looking forward to seeing my
husband. I haven't seen him in 20 months so
I know that when I do see him again
fireworks are bound to happen. (whatever it
is that y'all are thinking yup thats it).
Imagine this:
Scenario 1
Me: Joshwa its time for your medicine
(AKA Benadryl)
Joshwa: Mom!!!! Ahhhhh!!! Noo!!
(after 10 minutes he is knocked out cold)
Let the games begin!!
Scenario 2
Me: Who wants $100
whoever raises their hand will say why what's
the catch. Babysit Joshwa.. and i know no one
will take me up on that. So Im thinking the
scenario 1 will be a better option.
Scenario 3
Wait till Joshwa's asleep God knows how long
will wait. We waited for 20 months whats
a few hours. Scenario 1 will be a great option
but if you know us will probably just go with
this option.
work is concerned came today. She's okay
I've met her before. She might be the person
that my parents have been looking for
softspoken and yet good with filling something
that i'm not good at.
I'm going to have one last scrap session with
my friends. I'm going to miss the scrapbook
girls. But i'm looking forward to seeing my
husband. I haven't seen him in 20 months so
I know that when I do see him again
fireworks are bound to happen. (whatever it
is that y'all are thinking yup thats it).
Imagine this:
Scenario 1
Me: Joshwa its time for your medicine
(AKA Benadryl)
Joshwa: Mom!!!! Ahhhhh!!! Noo!!
(after 10 minutes he is knocked out cold)
Let the games begin!!
Scenario 2
Me: Who wants $100
whoever raises their hand will say why what's
the catch. Babysit Joshwa.. and i know no one
will take me up on that. So Im thinking the
scenario 1 will be a better option.
Scenario 3
Wait till Joshwa's asleep God knows how long
will wait. We waited for 20 months whats
a few hours. Scenario 1 will be a great option
but if you know us will probably just go with
this option.
Monday, July 31, 2006
31 Days To Go
I only have 31 Days to go. Am I prepared? No not really.
Am I preparing? Again. No not really.
Our clothes are all ready and sorted I moved
all my scrapbook layouts in the binder albums and that's it.
Joshwa has been banned from eating at Jollibee and
Mc Donalds. He has been on that Jollibee and Mc
Donalds phase for awhile and it's best to train
him to avoid eating there.
I haven't really talked to my mom about what to do
with our stuff like appliances. As if its mine.. the only
decent appliances that I could call my own is my
washing machine and my stereo. The other appliances
came from my parents. Since they gave it to us.
I'll just let them decide as to what to do with it.
I'm not having a despedida. I already had one with
my scrapbook friends and thats it. I couldn't have
asked for a better send off.
I can't wait to leave i truly mean this but I'm also
leaving a part of myself behind. But I'm going into
the biggest adventure of my life. Starting Over.
Am I preparing? Again. No not really.
Our clothes are all ready and sorted I moved
all my scrapbook layouts in the binder albums and that's it.
Joshwa has been banned from eating at Jollibee and
Mc Donalds. He has been on that Jollibee and Mc
Donalds phase for awhile and it's best to train
him to avoid eating there.
I haven't really talked to my mom about what to do
with our stuff like appliances. As if its mine.. the only
decent appliances that I could call my own is my
washing machine and my stereo. The other appliances
came from my parents. Since they gave it to us.
I'll just let them decide as to what to do with it.
I'm not having a despedida. I already had one with
my scrapbook friends and thats it. I couldn't have
asked for a better send off.
I can't wait to leave i truly mean this but I'm also
leaving a part of myself behind. But I'm going into
the biggest adventure of my life. Starting Over.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Selling
Im selling all of my scrapbook stuff.
Akala ko nung una di sya magiging madali
pero surprisingly di naman sya ganun
kahirap. Nung una iniisip ko pa lang na
ibebenta ko sya parang nalulungkot ako.
Pero naisip ko di ako dapat malungkot kasi
madali na para sa akin magsimula uli.
Di ko na pagdadaanan yung mga pagkakamali
ko dati na bibili tapos di ko pala kailangan.
At least ngayon mag simula man ako
muli mas alam ko na dapat ko gawin.
Akala ko nung una di sya magiging madali
pero surprisingly di naman sya ganun
kahirap. Nung una iniisip ko pa lang na
ibebenta ko sya parang nalulungkot ako.
Pero naisip ko di ako dapat malungkot kasi
madali na para sa akin magsimula uli.
Di ko na pagdadaanan yung mga pagkakamali
ko dati na bibili tapos di ko pala kailangan.
At least ngayon mag simula man ako
muli mas alam ko na dapat ko gawin.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Monday, July 24, 2006
How God Chooses by: Emma Bombeck
I stumbled upon this and it got me teary eyed...
(Copied from lpsi.org site)
Most women become mothers by accident,
some by choice, a few by social pressures and
a couple by habit.This year, nearly 100,000 women
will become mothers of handicapped children.
Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped
children are chosen?What can you do to help your c
child improve his or her behavior?
Follow three basic child rearing rules and
avoid four possible errors.Somehow I visualize
God hovering over earth selecting His instruments
for propagation with great care and deliberation.
As He observes. He instructs his angels to make notes
in a giant ledger."Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint,
Matthew."Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, patron saint,
Cecilia."Rudledge, Carrie, twins, patron saint" give her
Gerard. He is used to profanity."
Finally, He passes a name to an angel and smiles,
"Give her a handicapped child."The angel is curious,
"Why this one, God? She's so happy.""Exactly." smiles God.
"Could I give a handicapped child a mother who does
not know laughter? That would be cruel."
"But has she patience?" asks the angel."I don't want her to
have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of
self-pity and despair, once the shock and resentment
wears off, she'll handle it."I watched her today.
She has that feeling of self and independence that is
so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child
I'm going to give her has his own world. She has to make
it live in her world and that's not going to be easy."
"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you.
"God smiles, "No matter, I can fix that.
This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness.
"The angel gasps, "Selfishness is that a virtue?
"God nods."If she can't separate herself from the
child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a
woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect.
She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied.
She will never take for granted a spoken word.
She will never consider a step ordinary.
When her child says "Mumma" for the first time she
will be present at a miracle and know it. When she
describes a tree or a sunset to her blind child, she
will see it as few people ever see my creations."
I will permit her to see clearly the things I see
ignorance, cruelty, prejudice and allow her to rise
above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her
side every minute of every day of her life because
she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my
side.""And what about her patron saint?" asks the
angel, his pen poised in mid-air.God smiles.
"A mirror will suffice
(Copied from lpsi.org site)
Most women become mothers by accident,
some by choice, a few by social pressures and
a couple by habit.This year, nearly 100,000 women
will become mothers of handicapped children.
Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped
children are chosen?What can you do to help your c
child improve his or her behavior?
Follow three basic child rearing rules and
avoid four possible errors.Somehow I visualize
God hovering over earth selecting His instruments
for propagation with great care and deliberation.
As He observes. He instructs his angels to make notes
in a giant ledger."Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint,
Matthew."Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, patron saint,
Cecilia."Rudledge, Carrie, twins, patron saint" give her
Gerard. He is used to profanity."
Finally, He passes a name to an angel and smiles,
"Give her a handicapped child."The angel is curious,
"Why this one, God? She's so happy.""Exactly." smiles God.
"Could I give a handicapped child a mother who does
not know laughter? That would be cruel."
"But has she patience?" asks the angel."I don't want her to
have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of
self-pity and despair, once the shock and resentment
wears off, she'll handle it."I watched her today.
She has that feeling of self and independence that is
so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child
I'm going to give her has his own world. She has to make
it live in her world and that's not going to be easy."
"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you.
"God smiles, "No matter, I can fix that.
This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness.
"The angel gasps, "Selfishness is that a virtue?
"God nods."If she can't separate herself from the
child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a
woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect.
She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied.
She will never take for granted a spoken word.
She will never consider a step ordinary.
When her child says "Mumma" for the first time she
will be present at a miracle and know it. When she
describes a tree or a sunset to her blind child, she
will see it as few people ever see my creations."
I will permit her to see clearly the things I see
ignorance, cruelty, prejudice and allow her to rise
above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her
side every minute of every day of her life because
she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my
side.""And what about her patron saint?" asks the
angel, his pen poised in mid-air.God smiles.
"A mirror will suffice
Friday, July 21, 2006
The Fab 5
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Had a HUGE,HUGE argument with my mom today.
She was talking to me di lang ako sumagot she
started screaming at me. It was so demeaning..
I feel so bad... I dont think she knows the effect
she has on me when she starts screaming like
that and talking like that to me. It makes me
feel so low, unworthy and so belittled. Im sure
she feels like she can't wait til I leave. Well this
are one of those moments that make me feel
like I do too.
She was talking to me di lang ako sumagot she
started screaming at me. It was so demeaning..
I feel so bad... I dont think she knows the effect
she has on me when she starts screaming like
that and talking like that to me. It makes me
feel so low, unworthy and so belittled. Im sure
she feels like she can't wait til I leave. Well this
are one of those moments that make me feel
like I do too.
Friday, July 14, 2006
Caught in the Middle by Leira Pagaspas
Caught in the middle
Of a woe that is not done by my own doing
Wanting to please my family and the love of my life.
As a third person in the story
I wish I could control it
Finish it to help them
Fix it to help him
Is time and distance my friend or foe?
Always thinking about what I can do.
To please them and help them.
To help him get out of this sticky bind.
Caught in the middle of a woe that is not
done by my own doing.
I just want this to be over and done with.
So that we all could live happily together.
In the land that is supposed to be the land
of ever afters.
Of a woe that is not done by my own doing
Wanting to please my family and the love of my life.
As a third person in the story
I wish I could control it
Finish it to help them
Fix it to help him
Is time and distance my friend or foe?
Always thinking about what I can do.
To please them and help them.
To help him get out of this sticky bind.
Caught in the middle of a woe that is not
done by my own doing.
I just want this to be over and done with.
So that we all could live happily together.
In the land that is supposed to be the land
of ever afters.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Driving..
I know I'm moving and I'm supposed to learn how to
drive pero part of me doesn't want to. My parents
and my husband flatly said No out loud when I said
that I wanted to learn how to drive.
I have 7 weeks to go a lot of things can happen.
drive pero part of me doesn't want to. My parents
and my husband flatly said No out loud when I said
that I wanted to learn how to drive.
I have 7 weeks to go a lot of things can happen.
Monday, July 10, 2006
Derby
Derby( yes her real name is really Derby parang
Derby na cockfight and Derby na Kentucky Derby)
is my long lost 1st cousin.. I haven't seen her
in 18 years. Ay grabe nung dumating sya di ako
makapaniwala na sya na yun. I last saw her
when she was 3 years old and now 21 na sya..
I really never thought that I would see her
again and yet I was lucky to be able
to spend some with her.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Its Here..
Sa wakas nakakuha na kami ng visa ni Joshwa.
I'm looking forward to starting this new
phase in our lives.. Sa wakas makakasama
na namin si Philbert.
Ang masasabi ko lang ay Thank You Lord!!!
God is Good All The Time!
Friday, June 16, 2006
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Thursday, June 08, 2006
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
I WANT to see Andrea again
I REMEMBER our last family vacation
http://community.webshots.com/album/550940725KoRNmy
I FOUND out that I give myself was little credit..
I HEAR Joshwa excitedly talking
I REGRET not fighting for Andrea but at that time it was out of my hands.
I PRAY that Joshwa & I will be given a US Visa.
I ALWAYS make it a point to call Joshwa's teachers and ask about his
improvements
I WIN whenever I fight with Philbert kasi maski na he says no. I can make him
say yes eventually.
I LOSE track of time when I scrapbook
I NEED to fix everything that I need to do before I leave
I PLAY with my papers and tools whenever I scrapbook.
I LOOK forward to seeing my husband and sisters really soon.
Monday, June 05, 2006
Adopted?
Recently nagtataka ako bakit nagtatanong mga tao
kung adopted si Joshwa.
Syempre hindi.. anak ko talaga sya di ako defensive
naiirita lang. Bakit ganun they just look at me and
say to themselves you can't be the mom as if
I dont deserve to be his mom.
Kasi why do they have to keep asking
kung adopted si Joshwa di ba namin deserve
magkaron ng guapong anak?
Di ko na lang pinansin pero the last straw was
nung may nagtanong narinig ni Joshwa. Kaya pala
lately parang di nya ako sinusunod.
Then yaya mentioned it to me last Sunday na
people have been asking her kung adopted
si Joshwa nang andun si Joshwa sa harap
nila "thinking" na di sila naiintindihan ni Joshwa.
So I sat down with Joshwa to tell him that
he's not adopted and that Daddy and I love him so much.
Naiyak si Joshwa and I felt him lean against him
parang in his own way he was hugging me.
I felt really bad and i just kept telling him that
I love him.
kung adopted si Joshwa.
Syempre hindi.. anak ko talaga sya di ako defensive
naiirita lang. Bakit ganun they just look at me and
say to themselves you can't be the mom as if
I dont deserve to be his mom.
Kasi why do they have to keep asking
kung adopted si Joshwa di ba namin deserve
magkaron ng guapong anak?
Di ko na lang pinansin pero the last straw was
nung may nagtanong narinig ni Joshwa. Kaya pala
lately parang di nya ako sinusunod.
Then yaya mentioned it to me last Sunday na
people have been asking her kung adopted
si Joshwa nang andun si Joshwa sa harap
nila "thinking" na di sila naiintindihan ni Joshwa.
So I sat down with Joshwa to tell him that
he's not adopted and that Daddy and I love him so much.
Naiyak si Joshwa and I felt him lean against him
parang in his own way he was hugging me.
I felt really bad and i just kept telling him that
I love him.
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