Wednesday, September 08, 2010


First of all let me say this out in the open I have a learning disability. It's called Dyscalculia or math disability which is a specific learning disability involving innate difficulty in learning or comprehending mathematics. It is akin to dyslexia and can include confusion about math symbols. Dyscalculia can also occur as the result of some types of brain injury. When I was younger I felt really bad that I couldn't understand the lectures and I felt frustrated. I need all the Math Help that I can get. At that time finding an online math tutor was still very far fetched. I remember that as a child my mom would use encourage me to do well with Goldilocks Mamon and Ensaymada.

As a child, math was always very difficult. It is where I struggled the most and it is where I gave my mother a lot of frustration. I could learn other subjects easily, but math was a different subject altogether. During exams week, it would take us three days just to review for Math and, in the end, when the report card would come, I still would get a red mark which really frustrated my mom.

Bless my mom’s heart, she did everything to help me. She even hired me a tutor, but nothing seems to be working. I’m still not passing any Math subjects or any subject that involves numbers and computations for that matter. This went on until high school and this did not make my high school life easy, most especially during college because I took Math seven times. The only time I passed Math and Statistics was when my parents sent me to the province to cross-enroll for the summer. That time, I passed. Thankfully I finished College but I passed by the skin of my teeth.

They say that every person has a cross and I really felt that Math was my cross to bear. I left my job to start my own business but that business failed because I couldn’t do the costing properly and I couldn’t reconcile the expenses versus the income that was coming in. I tried another business wherein I invested everything I had and yet it still failed. It led me to be even more depressed. I kept blaming myself calling myself an idiot because I couldn’t do anything right.

I prayed for an answer. I felt like a circle in a square hole I couldn’t fit in. The answered prayer came a few years later when I attended a parenting event and there was a talk on learning disabilities - the topic was “dyscalculia.” Half way through the talk, I wanted to break down and cry because I felt like the speaker was talking about me. I wanted to have myself assessed but, unfortunately, it wasn’t available here at that time. But I already knew - it was like I had a lightbulb moment. The downside is, since I am not officially diagnosed, everybody seems to be thinking that I’m overreacting.

I can write a bit and can pick up things easily but when it comes to mathematical and technical data - numbers, statistics, mechanicals, etc., I’m totally lost. There’s a funny story that since I don’t want to get pregnant right away, someone taught me how to use the Natural Family Planning Method, so I just count the number of days after my period when is it the safest and when it is not. Since I’m poor with numbers, I made a mistake counting the number of days, and so I got pregnant. I taught my friend how to do the NFP, but since I taught her the wrong way to count, she also got pregnant.

Suffice to say that yes - numbers do freak me out especially when it comes to computing how much I can still spend and so I end up overspending because I thought I still have $85 but it turns out that I only have $58 left.

I also have a poor sense of time. I’ll be there in 20 minutes because I’m too scared to be late and what happens is I’ll be there an hour later. I still count on my fingers. The thought of teaching my child on his math homework is enough to make me hyperventilate (Thank God there’s Kumon). I’m also having a hard time when it comes to balancing the checkbook. That’s why I decided not to have one when we came back to the Philippines. It becomes increasingly frustrating as we become ever more increasingly dependent on modern technology. I don’t think I just have it together when it comes to trying to learn all these new stuff. I know I’m not stupid, but I tend to feel that way at times. I don’t know if my brain is wired in a different way.

Just trying to figure out how to set up something like the DVD for instance is enough to make me break down. When the computer conks out, I don’t know how to fix it. That I have actually learned to use my computer when I write my blog is nothing short of a minor miracle. I’m also embarrassed to tell anyone that I haven’t updated the look of my site because I’m having a hard time with .

Just like Goldilocks I have learned to embrace the change within me and have learned to go with the flow. Whenever, I eat at Goldilocks or eat their products It brings back really great memories. How could someone go wrong with a classic. The word classic means something that is a perfect example of a particular style, something of lasting worth or with a timeless quality. If that doesn't describe Goldilocks I don't know what will.

Goldilocks' dedication to the Filipinos is beyond innovation. They set the standards for quality in baked products, and Goldilocks continually struggle to surpass them. Goldilocks highlights freshness, delivering baked goods to the stores "fresh from the oven" everyday.

Goldilocks also constantly develops new products and services that meet international standards, yet accommodate to the Filipino taste.

Just like Goldilocks.. I Happily have found that there are things that have been useful to me that has worked throughout the years. With hope, someone out there will read this and it will help her as well:

• I talk about it. I’m not ashamed to tell people about it.
• I stopped using my credit cards because I don’t know how to use it properly.
• I leave the finances to my husband. I’m having a tough time with the budget. I just let him handle it.

• When I need to take medications, I have to read and re-read it as I’m taking the medication.
• I have learned to ask for help when I need it.

1 comment:

skysenshi said...

Hallo, Leira!
I just posted about our Influential Blogger 2010 experience. Well, photos are just really about our table and your food, which I love because you arranged it so nicely.

Nice post! Beautiful resolutions about the major changes in your life. They seem to keep you strong. :)