I love to eat a brownie when I'm sad
nothing beats the comfort
that a brownie can give me..
While eating a brownie.
I started to look at myself and compare myself
to a brownie.
Many may know me as funny..
Many may think that I'm zany
But many people dont know that
im achy and breaky....
But they dont know what goes behind the making
of the brownie. You get 2 boxes of Brownie
Mix then you mix 1 cup of butter then you add in
the condensed milk then you start to beat it
till it comes together.. Then you add the Eggs
then you beat it again. Thats how I am
sometimes..
Whenever I look at my son..
I know in my heart that I love him so much.
But sometimes I always see myself as a failure.
Because i dont know if I can afford to give him
the very best. I'm just a whole mixture of emotions..
Then you put butter in the baking pan put in the
mixutre and put it in the oven.I have to
put in the pan and arrange it.. So it will
come out nice when I bake it.
I imagine myself being that way sometimes
Sometimes I hate myself for being such a strict mom.
Always being the one to say No and Don't do this.
I know the effect that I have on him when I start to
tell him to pack away his toys or when I force him
to eat.
Then you put it in the oven and you bake it..
Sometimes I feel like my emotions are being baked through
and through. A lot of people dont know the pain of what I'm going thru.
I refused to let anyone in because I dont want their pity.
But sometimes i just need to talk to someone
To share that my son did this and that
I need that person to understand me. I know
that it is difficult to ask. So I dont..
Please stop looking at me like I did something wrong
when I ignore him because he has a tantrum.Stop staring at my child
whenever he throws a fit.He is just so overwhelmed by all of his
surroundings and he doesnt know how to process it. So please bear with him.
Then after its cooked we put it out of the oven..
Then slice it and eat it..
I'm trying my best to be always be thankful for what I have.
For what I can't give him and for my shortcomings..
I always pray that God will make up for all of that.
I know he always will for I would never come close to
God's love for my son.
