the blues

Just this afternoon i found out that a friend and an acquaintance
is expecting a baby girl and baby boy they are both due in July
I was supposed to be due in June. Because had we not lost
Gabe i could be finding out by now if my baby was a boy or a girl.
I don't know what I'm supposed to feel. I'm happy for them
and yet i dont know why i feel like this. I'm sure the blues
will go away on it's own.