My Mushings

Joshwa is starting his 1st day of Special Ed school
tomorrow.Im feeling nervous about his
first day. I feel like i'm having the separation
anxiety.

He started school in October but it didn't
really work out because he had a tough time
and I stayed with him for 3 weeks.

I'm so thankful that the teachers were
so nice to me and they did their best
to rush all the meetings and assesments
so that Joshwa can finally move to the Special Ed school.

I'm thankful for the 3 weeks that I had with Joshwa.
I got to know him a lot more and I understood
how he feels and frustrating it is for him to not
be able to be understood.I felt his pain and
secretly cried with him when he feels frustrated.
There are days when he doesnt want to go to school
and i force him to because I know that he does
need to go to school.When he cries in school because
he's having a tough day.I just want to take him home.

I always tell Joshwa just a few more days
and we will be moving to school where you
do belong.Just a few more days my son
and through his tear stained eyes he looks
at me..and stops crying

I always tell myself soon Joshwa will find his voice
he will tell me what we wants,hates,feels
and loves and I will wait for that moment.
because i know that moment will soon come.