Forgiveness

After a week of craziness, I’m glad that this week is over. I just want it to be December already. I’m so excited about this trip. I feel bad that I can't take Joshwa with me. As much as I want to but because he has so many sensory issues like ear sensitivity, claustrophobia and hyperactiveness. His therapist feels that he is not up for the flight yet.. At least he has a new sister to accompany him when he goes to his grandparents for the holidays.

I was blog hopping and I saw something that struck me. Someone was saying that she wished she could have reached out to me because she understands me. Wow... That is so cool. I really thought she didn’t like me after what I did who would right? It is something that I have been including in my prayers.

Forgiveness... I have done a lot of stupid things to so many people I always prayed to God that somehow they will forgive me. I don't expect them to talk to me or anything. I just always pray that God will always be good to them and bless them with a forgiving heart.

I’ve been attending this cell group every Monday and it has been so amazing. I see so many changes in me... The important thing that I have learned is to TRUST. I always thought that I wasn't worthy anymore. But God loves me so much that I feel that he made me a new person. He taught me to trust in him. When things don't go well I just say a short prayer and somehow God makes me see that he's in control of my life. Because as much you want to run your life without God somehow it doesn’t work out and we feel, angry, afraid and frustrated. I know I did...

I think that's where my depression started to come in. I wasn't in control and I blamed myself. A good example is like driving a car. I just gave the steering wheel to God and I'm his backseat driver. A classic example in my life is my husband. We used to fight a LOT as in shouting matches and breaking of things and almost walking away. But with God's help he taught me to forgive the sins and forget the past and now we don’t fight at all. Yes we argue but we don't fight anymore.

When I found out that Rio Diaz-Cojuangco passed on. I said to myself she's with the Lord now. She's a classic example of loving and following God inspite of not despite of. I’m just so glad that God gave me the peace of mind that I've long been searching for. Eventhough ang daming problems somehow di na ako tensed kasi di ako pababayaan ni God and I say AMEN to that